We all get hurt, we all need help, but this does not make us any less of an individual. The truth is we are to scared to rely on someone’s help. If we can accept each other without judgement or fear, if we can communicate as individuals holding together a single unit, then we in turn become stronger. One example is Joe broke his right leg and can no longer stand on his own, but Jane broke her left leg. On their own they can not stand, but if they rely on each other and hold onto each other firmly while they lean, they only need one leg each to stand up. Imagine what you can do with four, six or ten?
“Individual strength is needed to survive alone. However united strength is what is necessary to live together and succeed in a united world of endless possibilities.”
Learning How To Communicate: Now that we heard about strength in relationships and bonds everything seems fine and dandy now right? Wrong, how we do things is still an issue that needs solving in all aspects of life. If we want to be heard, understood or given time in any way, we must in turn do the same for the individual as they need it. This is of course The Golden Rule: Treat (respect) as you wish to be treated in return. But someone always has to make the first step in this, so try giving the respect first, after all you have to give respect to gain respect.
However there will be times when they can not return that respect, they are not in a place of mind where they can accept learning another view of life other than their own. This is where you have to ask yourself is it worth it? If it is not worth it to you because they do not respect you, then you simply must move on before the beautiful rose you once viewed has become a flower riddled in thorns. However, if you feel they are worth it then you can put the effort to bend heaven and earth and break the barrier of your minds impossibility and accept the sacrifices you must make to do so. Remember, even if they have thorns they are still a beautiful rose.
We also may be scared to hurt the rose and hold back our true feelings, this is also wrong. How can you communicate feelings you do not share?
“The less we speak the better it is. However, that does not mean we should not speak at all. It simply means we should keep it to a minimum.”
Learning To Keep A Subject Simple: Now that we know how to communicate, we still need to know how to keep things simple in order to understand ourselves and communicate it properly. This is due to the fact it is much easier to point the finger and blame the situation or the people who brought in the situation for us making our choices. We pass blame or guilt onto the second or third party which in turn complicates the situation extremely. The only issue we should have is understanding what we are willing to do in any situation. Anything beyond that is unnecessary, not our responsibility and not our individual problem.
“We need to learn to look at our options, make our choice and take responsibility for it. To look beyond that is to pass responsibility to an external influence. Our choice is our own, and if we change it is for ourselves so we can hold into what we cherish, not for the object itself. We should never be afraid to change and take responsibility for our own actions. The subject is not important, and that is the simple truth.”
Learning To Accept Ourselves And What We Cherish: Often somewhere along the lines of the previous subjects we fail to meet our expectations of each other. Due to this we feel an extreme guilt and feel we are not deserving of each other breaking off beautiful relations with amazing people or other objects that hold great value to us. But this is because of our negative perceptions of ourselves, which in turn creates a negative perception of the other through the “mirror effect.” The mirror effect is basically what we see in someone based on our own feelings of ourselves.