I know how much you loved him. I remember how your voice broke when you mentioned that you both met everyday for 2 long years. I saw the excitement flashing in your eyes when you showed me an old photograph with you and him staring blankly at each other amongst many of your friends. I even recall you telling me that you were more beautiful than you are now. You burst into tears when one day you told me it was his opinion that mattered more than yours when it came to your career, friends and even the stupid clothes that you wore. He invited you over and over to his place and you, the loving you just obliged. You thought everything was returning back to you. You thought the distance and the time spent apart had made him realize your value but after few such visits you realized that he played his cards just to manipulate your feelings and get you into bed. You could only ask,
“Is this the guy who I loved? “
“Why did I even love him? “
“Why did he abandon me like this?”
“Why can’t I forget anything and move on?”
No element of logic or reasoning is good enough to answer any of these questions satisfactorily. May be there is no logical solution to purge him out of your mind. So I’m suggesting something illogical and totally unjust, Please forgive him.
Yes, He used you.He hurt your feelings and took away all your self respect. He broke you and made a mess out of your life. But still, forgive him.
Learn something new, make someone happy, Cook for your family, Stare out of the window,Feed your dog, Listen to some old sheet music, Watch a horror movie, Lose yourself in a smile, Count every blessing, Travel, Read, Write,Sing, Dance, Breathe and let your heart expand to accommodate every single detail of the day that made you feel positive. Then remember him and the happiness that you shared together. Be grateful for everything that he gave you and forgive him, Please.