We Believe What We Decide To Believe

Do you ever wonder why people don’t discuss ideas and happy news anymore? It was reading one of Alice Roosevelt`s books that have awoken something inside me, particularly her words “If you haven`t got anything nice to say about anybody, come sit next to me.”

My version would be “If you haven`t got anything nice to say about anybody, stay as far from me as possible, as there is no place next to me for those kinds of people.”People are thrilled to gossip and as much as one can understand that, slander shouldn`t be tolerated at all. It`s the lowest and least intelligent form of communication. It requires no thinking and primarily no information. Does this scare you yet? Any one of us can be on the menu one day. Anyone. Did I mention there is no need to have tangible information to start the defamation?

No information and yet it is easy to ruin someone`s reputation just because someone somewhere had too much time and too small balls to confront you in person. Someone who doesn`t necessarily even know your birth date and your mother`s maiden name. He or she probably saw you once or twice in your life.

Does it sound appealing? Think twice. Have you ever wondered why only bad news is flashing anywhere you turn around? People working in the media do it for living. What about the rest of the world? Sadly, the answer lies in some kind of sadism. People enjoy causing hurt to others. But the thing is, hurting others doesn`t make you happier or wealthier.

There are people who enjoy talking bad about others. It makes them feel fulfilled for a moment but makes them empty the next moment. Nothing in this world starts without a reason. Even boredom is the reason. Even ignorance and stupidity. So does defamation has an undercover meaning. Always. The negative person either lacks something another one possesses or the first person wants to have the other person in his or her life.

In the Philippines, people have to pick up garbage after they have been found to talk trash about other people. To me, this is a brilliant allegory to what has been known as “sweep your doormat before you do mine”. There is a beautiful thought that goes something like this: “The version of me you created in your mind is not my responsibility.” Sounds beyond accurate, doesn`t it? Whenever you think of hating on someone you barely know, think of it as a boomerang effect.

It will surely come back to you. Maybe not in the same form but with the same strength you sent out the negative vibes. Why don`t we talk more about other people`s success? Because it`s harder to swallow your pride, greed and put yourself aside while placing somebody else on a pedestal. When thinking this way, ask yourself – are you any less successful or any less happy if someone else is praised for whatever he or she did? Other people`s success doesn`t evaluate you as a person. Each is individual and there is enough place for all of us to be happy and successful.

We shouldn`t let praise mean everything to us, however. One needs praise to feed his ego, but not to feed his or her soul. Feeding soul will last much longer than feeding an ego. Today`s message is to be the best version of yourself and to spread positivity wherever you decide to go. Be the person you pretend publicly to be.

Be the person you admire. Whoever that is.

-By Jerneja Cmager

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Jerneja Cmager
Freelance writer who spent most of her early twenties living and working abroad. Based in Austria now. 
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