Before you jump

They’ll take the blood from your heart just to keep theirs beating, and sometimes showing up early doesn’t guarantee that you’ll get the best seating.

We don’t get to deal our own cards, and sometimes you just have to bluff and make them believe  that you have the winning hand, because it wasn’t your fault, and I know you tried the best  you can.

I know you may not have known her, but my mother was once broken just like you, but she let this world get to the best of her, and this time, my prayers weren’t enough to help her pull through.

I stayed beside her bed for three days, begging to God that she’d open her eyes, but the doctors told me that if her heart went still that I shouldn’t be surprised.

She beat the odds so many times, so I just shook off their words and told myself that she’d be okay, but before the next morning I watched her soul float from her body and fly away.

So please don’t take them for granted, and don’t forget to take care of yourself too, because if I could go back in time, flush all of those prescriptions is the first thing that I’d do.

I could be like the rest and say that i wouldn’t change a thing, but I’m no longer that proud, and  I’m not ashamed to let them see me cry, because it’s hard to hide back the tears after you’ve watched your best friend slowly die.

It’s hard to keep in touch with  anyone when you’re no longer the same  person that you used to be, because when your wipers stop working in the rain it’s hard to see.

It’s been pouring since I lost her and it’s hard to tell if my cheeks are wet from the rain or tears, because it’s only been  a little after one, but it feels like we’ve been apart for years.

Those wolves chased her her entire life, and the moment she decided to get clean is when they went in for the kill, now see her tomorrow, I can only plead to god that I will.

So when things get bad, and you can’t  find the strength to get out of bed, please listen to the words I’ve said.

Don’t break their hearts like she’s broken mine, because they love you so much more than you know, and guilt is a poison that’s hard to let go.

I think that’s what did her in, because I didn’t realize how sick she was until those angels decided that she suffered long enough and took her back home, and  sometimes standing in a crowded room is when you feel the most alone.

We’re not all as strong as you think, and you can always tell the broken by how much they drink.

When summer fades into the winter look at their hands for scars,  because they’re easy to see in the cold, so before you say what’s on your mind, it’s your tongue that you better hold.

Don’t go giving up on this world just yet, there’s still so much beauty that you have yet to see, sometimes the things we want just aren’t meant to be.

Things are gonna get better, I pinky swear,  because though you may not  think so, they really care.

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