He owns a Mercedes. What do I own ?
She has everything. Brain, beauty and boys. Why don’t I ?
He does nothing to get everything. I do everything to get nothing.
She is so lucky. Where is my luck ?
He has his way with girls. Why am I not that charming ?
World is so unfair to me. God is unfair to me.
So, I am unfair to me.
Why do we see ourselves as a heap of flaws merely because the same aren’t a part of someone else’s persona. Why do we have to be our worst critic when the entire world around us is ready to take the job. Why do we need the constant churning of mind that leaves us exhausted and drained while we can be at peace with who we are. Satisfied, fulfilled and grateful.
Is it because we don’t realise the harm we cause to ourselves or is it because we expect too much out of ourselves. Well, lets take time to get to the roots of the muddle because we all know the thoughts of self-criticism do bother us. No second thought about this please.
To start with, we need to understand what exactly are we doing when we are at war with ourselves.
- We are victimising for no obvious reasons and blaming ourselves for every negative outcome.
- We are do not accept compliments while at the same time over-analyse criticism.
- We are slogging for things that we think “may” make us happier and more likeable.
- We are feeling disappointed with ourselves because we have not achieved our goals and not because we have set impossibly high standards.
- We are defining ourselves with the views of others.
We do and think all this when we can’t answer one simple question.
Who is the judge ?
We need to stop that comparison and self-loathing. We need to re-direct the thoughts of criticism. We need to stop expecting from us what others have achieved. We need to stop mourning over petty issues that really wont make us content when overcome.
We need to breathe.
We need to let bygones be bygones and forgive our past selves so that we can be at peace with ourselves. And that is the ultimate power.