I had to ask myself honestly. What is more dangerous, a swarm of 10,000 killer bees? Or a mother grizzly bear, protecting her cubs? And in all honesty, if I had to choose, I would rather go toe to toe with the grizzly bear. Without a doubt. But what would you do, if you had to face both of them at the same time?
I only ask, because if you focus on all of the big problems in your life, and ignore all the little ones, then eventually, they will build up and catch up to you when you least expect them to. And if you’re dealing with something big at that time, and it requires all of your attention, it’s not like they’re just going to sit around and wait for their turn.
And this is the true struggle of addiction & recovery. All the little things that we ignore during addiction, hits you like a tsunami title wave. When attempting to face recovery. And that is what makes the transition between the two so difficult. It’s like recovery is the grizzly bear. And all of your past mistakes and actions, in addition, are the bees. And the decision to get clean is a 3-way battle between you and them. Victory is nothing less than an act of God.
Ask any champion, what it took for them to earn that title. And they will all say, “the willingness to do whatever it takes.” “Courage, to face all of your fears and to take on new risks and challenges.” “Faith, in a belief. Even if it costs you everything.” “And the knowledge of self, as well as your opponent. So that you may push the boundaries and accept either the value of a victory or the lessons of a defeat.”
So many times, I’ve seen people gain the knowledge of recovery. And yet nothing changes. But for that knowledge to serve a purpose, you must turn it into wisdom. And the only way to do so is by applying the lessons to your life by practicing these principles in all of your affairs. There is no such thing as a “part-time-champion.” Or a “half-way-victory.” If you want all of the shit that you’ve never had, then you have to do the shit that you’ve never done. And this is a practice that never comes to completion.
To say that the journey of recovery takes hard work is true. But it’s also, extremely vague. And anyone who doesn’t know the value of hard work will never understand what it takes to accept a failure, wholeheartedly. Or even appreciate the triumph of high achievements. Neither of which can be obtained, if there is even the slightest shadow of a doubt.
So pack up your ego, put it aside for now. Realize that what you think you might know, will serve no purpose on this path. Remaining teachable is the greatest alliance that you can make with yourself. A fool who asks a question is only a fool for a moment. And a fool who doesn’t ask is a fool for life.
Your ego is not your enemy, it is one of the best friends that you could ever have. But it will always harm your life if you lack self-awareness. An ego combined with the lack of self-knowledge essentially protects your self-worth. But if you can’t back up the value that you present, you will become too big for your bridges. But the combination of ego and self-awareness creates a drive or the desire to aim for the heights that you once believed were too big for you to hit.
Therefore, Vulnerability + Ego = Enlightenment. When you’re faced with a situation and you view it with only your physical eyes, you see only your weaknesses (Vulnerability). When you’re facing the same situation, but you view it with only your mind’s eyes, you see only your strengths (Ego). But, if you view any situation with both sets of eyes, the only thing that you fear, is never having done your best with the time that you have left (Enlightenment).
And only the truly enlightened can see, that everything in life will serve you till the very end.
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