When you date me you also date…
My friends: Aquarius, Gemini, Libra
My family: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn
My pets: Taurus, Pisces
What kind of bullshit is this you’re dating me and only me: Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries
When you date me you also date…
My friends: Aquarius, Gemini, Libra
My family: Cancer, Virgo, Capricorn
My pets: Taurus, Pisces
What kind of bullshit is this you’re dating me and only me: Leo, Scorpio, Sagittarius, Aries
Guilty pleasure
ARIES: Using their roommate’s expensive olive oil without asking
TAURUS: Buying yet another plain white 100% cotton t-shirt
GEMINI: Posting thirst traps on main
CANCER: Watching movies they know will cause a good cathartic cry
LEO: Claiming they “discovered” a cool new spot even though they were taken there on a date
VIRGO: Permitting themselves to sleep in on a weekday
LIBRA: Asking different people for advice until someone t
Doesn’t believe in
ARIES: Following rules
TAURUS: Changing their mind
GEMINI: Soulmates
CANCER: Silver linings
LEO: Anyone but themselves and their friends
VIRGO: Fate
LIBRA: Competition
SCORPIO: Second chances
SAGITTARIUS: The New Age religion that was their entire personality 3 months ago
CAPRICORN: Luck
AQUARIUS: Valentin
Feels like an outsider among
ARIES: People having a conversation using their inside voices
TAURUS: The crowds rushing past them on the sidewalk while they stroll and take in their surroundings
GEMINI: People who don’t have a favorite philosophical movement
CANCER: Their peers who prefer dating apps to real-life connections
LEO: High school classmates who chose to stay in their hometown instead of moving to the big city and becoming the main character
VIRGO: People
Likes you for your
ARIES: Bad habits
TAURUS: Aesthetic
GEMINI: Chaotic side
CANCER: Flaws they think they can fix
LEO: Reputation
VIRGO: Emotional maturity
LIBRA: Fantasy self that lives inside their head
SCORPIO: Similarities
SAGITTARIUS: Secret knowledge
CAPRICORN: Stability
AQUARIUS: Brain
PISCES: Aur
What makes you seethe
ARIES: Having things you already understand explained to you
TAURUS: Public restrooms with no hand dryer or paper towels
GEMINI: Listening to podcast hosts try to remember the name of something and not being able to chime in even though you know
CANCER: People who choose to be unkind to others
LEO: Watching your friends settle for less than they deserve
VIRGO: Seeing people get rewarded for breaking the rules
LIBRA: Bein
Lies they tell themselves
ARIES: “I don’t need anyone”
TAURUS: “I’ll do it tomorrow”
GEMINI: “I meant it as a joke”
CANCER: “Things were better the way they used to be”
LEO: “They’re just jealous”
VIRGO: “If they don’t check every single box, then they’re not worth my time”
LIBRA: “If they don’t respond in ten minutes, then they’ve forgotten about me”
SCORPIO: “I didn’t care anyway”
Doesn’t want to hear your
ARIES: Overdue apology
TAURUS: Whining about the same thing again
GEMINI: Poignant silence
CANCER: Ex’s name
LEO: Play-by-play recap of your day
VIRGO: Music playing out loud on the train
LIBRA: Empty promises
SCORPIO: Weak excuses
SAGITTARIUS: Secrets they can’t tell
CAPRICORN: Excessive praise
Leave a Reply
You must be logged in to post a comment.