I was a wandering sojourn, exploring the seas, the airs, the rivers, and roads.
Wallowing in freedom, friendships, and souls. Paving my own path. Finding what I needed to be, with who I needed to be. Blissfully unaware that everything I thought I wanted, thought I knew, was about to be tested, affronted by the astonishing. I was completely ignorant to the canyons that lay ahead.
Life as I knew it was never going to be the same. Life could never be the same.
Because then you arrived.
You entered unexpectedly, amongst a sea of fireworks. A lingering in a dream. The eye in the storm. In the depths of a quiet, you exploded quietly into my world.
At first, I was a blind spectator watching my domain unfold. Watching in a blind stupor. Watching a tsunami of emotions and brazen lightening jolt me alive.
Watching as you, only you, could affront my feelings and challenge my soul, like no other. You, as you questioned everything I believed, everything I thought I knew, everything I worked to achieve. I fought and pushed, pulled and wavered unable to decipher what you were.
Still, you drew me out of myself. Made me question things. Things I couldn’t deny. Things that were deliciously real. Then you pressed my soul for more. And I fought. I fought in denial of the movie playing out in front of me. In denial of what was happening. In denial of what we could be.
I fought as my views on love quivered ferociously. This was no fairytale. This was real. Raw. Intense. Distinctive.
And I was shaken.
This is what happens when your twin flame connects. When you find a missing piece to a puzzle. This is when there is a distinct before and after. This is when real life smacks you in the face. This is when everything changes.
I fought when you liked, I fought when you loved, I fought even when my soul lay bare and naked opening in all its twisted glory in front of you. Ripped, torn, this is that time when souls will break. This is when you will shatter apart and not understand. This isn’t like the before. This isn’t the middle. This is the beginning.
This is when you meet your twin. This is when your soul will flourish. This is when your soul arises.
A walking zombie I couldn’t shiver the feelings or be satiated by food or drugs or sleep. You sat in my mind. Driving me quietly, insanely mad as you fell on my breath. Awaiting. The thought of your touch and soul awakening a mind and scratching my soul.
It just was and is. You can fight it. Push it. Or chase it. The reality is, it will be what it is. You can’t shake or change something older than time. Older than the universe remembering. You can only learn.
What you will remember is the time after. Life cannot remain the same. It will only be an education of what needs to begin. Not all twins can continue together. But the invisible imprint will remain.