I understand everything; I try to figure out the reason behind everything which is happening with or around me, like Stephen Hawking’s “Theory of everything” (pun intended). But as I dive into that deeper, I begun to realize, do I really understand or just try to wear mask of this understanding person who is as vulnerable and irritated and agitated as everyone else. Why do I do that, I ask this question to myself, even after knowing the answer (like I said Theory of everything ;)).
So the answer to that is I fear of showing the weaker side of me, coz if I show that, it will be a downfall not for anyone but for myself, it took a great deal for me to reach at this state of mind and I cannot afford to lose now. I created an aura around me, my own little world of self-fulfilling prophecies and now I am comfortable here, where if I am vulnerable I know, If I am strong I know, and if I am shattered I know. I don’t let anyone enter into that world as it has become a shield of mine, protecting me. But is it healthy, or above all do I really understand this enough?
Well my questions are void just like this whole personality of mine.
So I am letting this void set in the air of my aura, hopefully there that make sense.