Heart- I’ m busy.
Mind- Well, what are you doing?
Heart- I am thinking.
Mind- That’s my job, dude.
Heart- I know but I can’t help but think.
Mind- What are you thinking?
Heart- mm, I am shy to say but as we live in one body you should know. I am thinking about him.
Mind- He, Who?
Heart- The one I like, adore and admire.
Heart- I don’t know reasons.I just do.
Mind- I know you well.. you can’t make reasons… That’s my job.
Heart- Well, If everything you do. What is my job then?
Mind- Your job is to be Kind and to Love and be at Peace.
Heart- Okay, so I am kind and affectionate but I’ m not at peace.
Heart- I said, I keep thinking. How could be I at peace?
Mind- That’s serious. You sound crazy. Let me help you to be at peace to solve your situation.
Heart- You can’t. Yes I am going crazy,
Mind – Let me try.
Mind- Can I ask you what makes you adore and admire him?
Heart- Ahhh! His Voice. Damn Deep, gives chill to bones,
Mind- And ?
Heart- When he laughs …the music of his laughter.
Mind- That comes in the same category of the sound, isn’t it?
And His Expressions, His Smile, His Eyes when he tries to listen and read you so that he can understand you what you mean by what you are saying.
Mind- That’ s deep ..
Heart- Yes, like hell. Phew!
Heart- And His Heart & Mind,_
And his curiosity and his coolness and his patience and his anger.
Heart- And rest I haven’t seen yet ..hahahaha
Have you seen him close?
How it made you feel?
I don’t know I just felt that.
If there’s feeling in paradise it could be like him.
Uhh, Ok wait ..wait. . Hold on ..thats too much. Are you planning to leave anything .
OK. Now tell me,
What he thinks and feels for you?
I don’t know. May be he likes me.
Did he said this to you?
Yes… He did once.
I don’t Know.
What you want ?
I want to be friend with him.
I am not sure but I feel a connection and I feel like we can share and talk our lives together in lows and highs.
We can be good friends
Just like a helping ears and be a better version of ourselves everyday.
And He ?
I don’t know. I’m not sure about him.
Do you know man doesn’t share feelings, they can’t open up. It kills them. They just can’t put it in words, it’s just not possible for them. It’s just not in their system…
I know well. I am not asking him to share feelings or open up. All I am asking for his presence in my life like a friend. I DON’T FEEL THAT NOW.
Do you let him know?
Yes, almost every day
Do you see him?
Why you don’t go and see him and tell all on his face?
I Can, but I respect his social class.
Why don’t you see on one to one?
I can but I respect his privacy.
And I don’t want to ask for what he is not ready or doesn’t willing to do or share.
So What you want to do now?
I don’t know, but I know that I have to take a step ahead..
I have to have to have to stop messaging him.
I have to do something…
Have you tried before?
Allah knows, I ‘ve tried.
Once I had deleted his number, I did block him once and I decided to not seeing him again unwillingly.
Feeling challenged, I said , “I am going to stop messaging if it kills me.” Guess What ? I almost died.
So What Now?
I am trying to do the Trying again. Even if it kills me again… And I am already dying thinking that I could lose him for forever.
It is scaring me to death.
I am ready to die and kill my heart with my own hands_.
You are the heart I am talking to.
_Oh..yeah, I mean I will kill myself.
Are you sure are you ready?
No, but Yes, I will try…and Yes I will and Yes I Can.
You haven’t heard the other side of the story.
I have given multiple chances, I have asked many times…if only he can remember and can recall.
So there is no turning back.
I hope Yes.
But I wished I had seen him close once one to one face to face.
If he doesn’t take a step ahead, what can You do?
That’s right. Sigh.
Are you ready..?
What will you do to stop texting him cause I know you can’t forget.
Yes, I can’t block him.
He is not blocking me.
I can’t change my number or delete whatsapp.
I can’t forget his number. I can’t say him to change his number.
I will Delete his number and this will kill me for sure.
You said you are ready.
I have to have,
I don’t want any disturbance further in his life, He has a loving family to love and taken care of.
So you will step back even if you don’t want to.
Yes.. I have to
Really.. be 100% before you go further.
I will never be 100% .. I can never be …I don’t want to lose him
But yes I will try my hardest this time.
What if he wants to talk to you sometimes? In your case looks rare but happens.. sometimes. You know.
Yeah, I understand, He has means and if he want to he can.
Will you talk back.
I wish not like this.. but I don’t know. I can’t say that for future, but messaging is Ending, for 100%. I will never text again until he is not willing to contribute.
He is a man. And Man does text much. They just forget.
I know but .. I am not doing it again.I had done enough.. one sided text.
And if Allah wills so, I am no more in his life now if he doesn’t want.
Good. He will be free from you.
Ouch. That joke really hurt.
Well Girl Go Ahead and Just Do It.
Just Delete. Everything
It’s always a man’s loss to lose a good women and a best friend.
Let it be blue tick.
You are still in.
I know …
Good Luck Life will test you again.
…. 🙂 God Willing.