A Nostalgic Dialogue Between A Heart And A Mind

Mind-  Hey!
Heart-  I’ m busy.

Mind- Well, what are you doing?
Heart- I am thinking.

Mind-  That’s my job, dude.
Heart-   I know but I can’t help but think.

Mind- What are you thinking?
Heart- mm, I am shy to say but as we live in one body you should know. I am thinking about him.

Mind- Who?
Heart- He.

Mind- He, Who?
Heart- The one I like, adore and admire.

Mind- Why?
Heart- I don’t know reasons.I just do.

Mind- I know you well.. you can’t make reasons… That’s my job.
Heart- Well, If everything you do. What is my job then?

Mind- Your job is to be Kind and to Love and be at Peace.
Heart- Okay, so I am kind and affectionate but I’ m not at peace.

Mind- Why?
Heart- I said, I keep thinking. How could be I at peace?

Mind- That’s serious. You sound crazy. Let me help you to be at peace to solve your situation.
Heart- You can’t. Yes I am going crazy,

Mind – Let me try.
Heart- OK.

Mind- Can I ask you what makes you adore and admire him?
Heart- Ahhh! His Voice. Damn Deep, gives chill to bones,

Mind- And ?
Heart- When he laughs …the music of his laughter.

Mind- That comes in the same category of the sound, isn’t it?
Heart- Yeah

And His Expressions, His Smile, His Eyes when he tries to listen and read you so that he can understand you what you mean by what you are saying.

Mind- That’ s deep ..
Heart- Yes, like hell. Phew!

Mind- And…
Heart- And His Heart & Mind,_

And his curiosity and his coolness and his patience and his anger.

Mind- And..
Heart- And rest I haven’t seen yet ..hahahaha

Have you seen him close?

Few times.

How it made you feel?

Paradise

How ?

I don’t know I just felt that.
If there’s feeling in paradise it could be like him.

Uhh, Ok wait ..wait. . Hold on ..thats too much. Are you planning to leave anything .

OK. Now tell me,

What he thinks and feels for you?

I don’t know. May be he likes me.

Did he said this to you?

Yes… He did once.

and then
I don’t Know.

What you want ?

I want to be friend with him.

Why?

I am not sure but I feel a connection and I feel like we can share and talk our lives together in lows and highs.
We can be good friends
Just like a helping ears and be a better version of ourselves everyday.

And He ?

I don’t know. I’m not sure about him.

Do you know man doesn’t share feelings, they can’t open up. It kills them. They just can’t put it in words, it’s just not possible for them. It’s just not in their system…

I know well. I am not asking him to share feelings or open up. All I am asking for his presence in my life like a friend. I DON’T FEEL THAT NOW.

Do you let him know?
Yes, almost every day

How?

Text.

Do you see him?

Yes, sometimes

Why you don’t go and see him and tell all on his face?
I Can, but I respect his social class.

Why don’t you see on one to one?
I can but I respect his privacy.

And I don’t want to ask for what he is not ready or doesn’t willing to do or share.

Hmmm
….Silence.

So What you want to do now?
I don’t know, but I know that I have to take a step ahead..
I have to have to have to stop messaging him.
I have to do something…

Have you tried before?

Allah knows, I ‘ve tried.

Once I had deleted his number, I did block him once and I decided to not seeing him again unwillingly.
Feeling challenged, I said , “I am going to stop messaging if it kills me.” Guess What ? I almost died.

So What Now?

I am trying to do the Trying again. Even if it kills me again… And I am already dying thinking that I could lose him for forever.

It is scaring me to death.

So …
I am ready to die and kill my heart with my own hands_.

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