Irrespective of how much we try to plan and control our lives every year, life happens on it’s own pace and in its own way. We are merely shaped by the challenges and opportunities life presents to us. Even though we may not be able to control the outcome but we can definitely focus on our efforts and learn all the valuable life lessons, life wants us to learn.
It’s that time of the year again. I spent my last birthday at Java in Indonesia in a beautiful sanctuary in the vicinity of Borobudur which is a breath-taking Buddhist temple from the 9th century.
This year, as I’m typing these words, I sit in a spacious wooden cabin in the middle of the forest in Finnish Lapland. From the living room, I gaze at the trees and sunbeams penetrating through the windowpane. It’s peaceful here, and it’s also the best gift I can receive.
I have a ritual each year to spend my birthday in a new place which is surrounded by nature. So I can meditate outside and soak in the wisdom of the place. I believe that on the day of our birthday, we can tap into the energy and life lessons of our whole lifetime. When we sit quietly, we have an opportunity to embody the wisdom of the previous years. Thus, I don’t throw parties for my birthday. Or really, any other day.
Thus I’d like to inspire you to reconnect with yourself on the magical day of your birthday.
I enjoy aging; it offers the gift of wisdom and experiences which are both invaluable. Last year, I wrote an article about 29 life lessons I learned in 29 years. I didn’t reread them, so I don’t get influenced and repeat what I wrote previously.
Because each year shifts and forms the way we think, and in one year we become a new better version of ourselves. The last year was full of new experiences, every day I grew deeper into my soul. (Yes, I believe that we become more of our soul until one day we can embody it entirely.)
The 30 Life Lessons I learned in 30 years
1. When you’re busy, slow down.
Slowing down when we feel busy may sound counterintuitive at first. Our mind wants us to believe that if we don’t keep moving, the whole world will collapse. Well, it will not.
The feeling of stress and being busy is a condition of mind. We bend the perception of time and space and speed it up with inner anxiety. The more we invest in believing that there isn’t enough time, the faster the time flies.
On the contrary, when we slow down and refuse to be a victim of time, we create more of it.
2. The biggest magic happens when I am.
The mind tries to keep us busy with thinking, analyzing, rationalizing, and planning. How many people are constantly in their minds?!
While all the magic happens when we simply are. It’s not a coincidence that we receive inner guidance and moments of sudden realization when we let things go and enjoy a walk in a forest.
We’re multilayered beings. Our mind is one of the layers, but it’s not who we’re. We’re so much more. Even better, we can tap into it when we lay down on the grass, gaze the stars, breathe in the fresh air, enjoy a hot bath, or go running.
Creating the “Me time” on a daily basis is what keeps the inspiration and intuition flowing in. The higher realms can reach us when we create space for them.
3. I can’t help anyone by lowering my vibrations.
As an empath, I used to feel into others so much that I lowered my vibration to comprehend their problems. It felt natural, and we’ve all heard that we should be there for others, always helpful and kind.
Although I believe that we should be here for others (after all, that’s at the heart of my life coaching practice! ), I learned the hard way that when I lower my vibrations, I can’t save anyone.
It’s the same as you’d see someone drowning, you jump to the water to save them, but in that shock, you forget that you can’t swim, and then you both drown. It’s a bit extreme example, but this is what we do when we lower our vibration to help someone.
You don’t need to lower your vibration and still, you can feel compassion and understanding for others.
On the contrary, when you maintain a strong vibe, you can help others to rise from their issues.
And then there is the other group of people who don’t want you to overshine them. So you don’t, as a good empath does. But deep within it slowly kills you because you know who you’re and you desperately want to express it, but you feel like you can’t. Like you wouldn’t be accepted.
Well, here is the thing. It’s not worth to sacrifice the life force that the Creator endowed you with for someone to feel better.
For one second because that’s probably how long they’ll be happy. If you have toxic people who aren’t happy for your success and happiness, get rid of them. It’s the only thing; you can do about them.
4. There will always be demanding people. Don’t let it shake your boat.
Some people believe that others were born to serve them. These people are also called energy vampires, and a big part of them sucks the energy out of others on purpose. They’ll ask for your attention, love, money, help, and you keep giving, but they still ask for some more because deep within they have an endless void that can’t be filled.
As sovereign souls, there shouldn’t be anyone exposing their power and demands on us unless we agree to it.
It’s only you who decide what kind of people is in your environment and what they can demand from you. You don’t need to play their little game for power because you can say it’s been enough and leave.
5. Give absolute freedom in relationships.
In all relationships should be absolute freedom. We don’t own anyone, and we can’t control anyone. It’s only the mind that believes that it can control someone and make them love you or stay.
Relationships are sacred assignments between two sovereign souls.
I believe that it should be approached that way. On the other hand, you can’t expect freedom from your partner if you don’t give it to them. When there is mutual freedom in relationships, they flourish and expand on their own. We don’t suffocate them with our insecurities.