How To Outsmart A Narcissist In Any Conversation: 7 Tips

Tips Outsmart Narcissist In Any Conversation

If you’re looking to outsmart a narcissist, I have seven tips to help you do just that. By the time you’re done reading this, you’ll understand how to come face-to-face with the narcissist in your life. And instead of you walking away confused and frustrated, the narcissists will do that for you.

Now that’s a win!

Related: Deal With A Narcissist: How To Outplay A Narcissist And Beat Them At Their Own Game

7 Ways To Outsmart A Narcissist In Any Conversation

Tip 1: Limit Communication

Keep your communications limited with this person. If you’ve decided this is somebody you still need in your life, keep your conversations simple. Talk to them only about the things you must talk about. Try not to take it any further.

Don’t ask any questions about their life, and don’t answer any questions about your life. If you have to answer, keep them very short and generic.

Outsmart a narcissist
Outsmart a narcissist

Tip 2: Understand The Narcissistic Personality

Narcissists lack whole object relations. To put it simply, they have a very black-and-white view of those around them. They can’t have positive and negative feelings about you simultaneously. To them, you’re either all good or all bad.

Also, narcissists lack emotional empathy, so they’re not a good match for somebody who cares about others.

These are not people you want to have drawn-out fights with because they’ll stop at nothing. If you start looking for revenge, you can easily get caught up in a never-ending cycle. You do something, then they’ll retaliate probably worse than what you did. In turn, you are even more driven to take revenge.

This is why a foundational understanding of narcissism can help you outsmart the narcissist. You need to know what you’re dealing with before you can learn to protect yourself.

Related: How Do You Outsmart A Narcissist? Shutting Down Narcissist Manipulation For Good

Tip 3: Distance Yourself From The Narcissist And The People Close To Them

Tread very lightly -not just with the narcissist- but with anyone who they are friends with. Some of these people can be two-faced and play nice with you to get information to bring back to the narcissist.

If the narcissist has turned some important people in your life against you, the best thing you can do is just let it go until the dust settles. You can rebuild those relationships after you’ve done some healing and there’s been some distance between you and the narcissist.

Tip 4: Do Not Give A Narcissist What They Want

Narcissists are very likely to say things that either bait or trigger you. They will say something they know you have an emotional tie to, whether it’s good or bad.

If they’re saying nice things, your response to that thing should be very dry. You can respond with something like, “That’s very kind of you to say.” If it’s something negative, you can say something like, “I’m really sorry you feel that way.”

Outsmart a narcissist
Outsmart a narcissist

Tip 5: Take The Power Away From What They’re Saying

If the narcissist brings up something you’re self-conscious about, and you want to respond to it, take the power away in that moment. You can either say, “That’s something that I used to really struggle with, but I’ve come a long way.” Or you can use two very powerful words: “So what?” If you’re not concerned about the issue, it instantly deflates their entire argument.

Their opinion of us does not matter. And even though we all know we’re not perfect, we can accept our flaws and work on them… without the narcissist.

Related: How To Outsmart A Narcissist: 10 Powerful Tactics To Put A Narcissist In Their Place

Tip 6: Highlight The Ugliness Coming Out Of Their Mouth

If they say something ugly or hateful, ask them what they mean. Even if you know what they mean, still ask them. You can also call them out on their anger. Doing these will make them have to defend themselves. Just be sure to remain calm. If your emotions escalate, then you haven’t outsmarted them.

On the other hand, when you force them to look within themselves instead, it will cause a narcissistic injury. This isn’t something you want to do if you fear the narcissist, but it can work very well if you do not.

Tip 7: Keep A Close Eye On Your Emotional State

Imagine you’re wearing a heart monitor and every time you get emotional, either angry or sad or hurt, imagine an audible beep going off. This is the danger zone because you are highly likely to react.

Responding in an emotional way to the narcissist is not going to do anything to help your current situation. It may help you feel a little better at the moment, but you will get into a back-and-forth argument. So it’s really better just if you can keep it in and walk away.

Related: How To Deal With A Narcissist: 5 Steps To Disarm A Narcissist and Protect Yourself From Their Wrath

Those are seven ways you can outsmart a narcissist in conversation. If you have to have a narcissist in your life, keep the upper hand and prevent them from controlling everything. Just a warning. If you see a narcissistic injury coming up, that might be a good time to exit if you can.

Want to know more about how you can outsmart a narcissist? Check this video out below!

How do you outsmart a narcissist in a conversation

Additional Resources:

One-on-one coaching sessions
Online therapy for abuse and trauma victims (get 10% off when you sign up with this link)
7 Day Self-Love Kickstart Plan
Written By Common Ego
Originally Appeared On Common Ego

Tips Outsmart Narcissist In Conversation pin
Tips Outsmart Narcissist In Any Conversation pin

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The Narcissistic Stare: How A Narcissist Uses Stare To Control You and 5 Ways To Protect Yourself

Narcissistic Stare | Why Do Narcissists Stare? Coping Tips

The human gaze holds immense power, capable of expressing emotions, desires, and even hidden intentions. Among the many intriguing forms of eye contact, the narcissistic stare stands out as an enigmatic phenomenon that both fascinates and perplexes. 

But what is the narcissistic stare? Well, have you ever encountered someone whose gaze seemed to penetrate your very soul, leaving you feeling exposed and uncomfortable? 

Let us delve into this fascinating concept, exploring what is the narcissistic stare, why do narcissists stare and the different variations it takes on, including the malignant narcissist stare and the female narcissistic stare.

What is the Narcissistic Stare?

Up Next

Sociopathy Vs Narcissism: 10 Critical Differences You Need To Know

Sociopathy Vs Narcissism: Critical Differences

When we toss around the terms “sociopath” and “narcissist,” it’s usually to describe a villain in a movie or that one ex we’d rather forget. But in reality, these are complex personality disorders that go beyond just being the bad guy, which is why it’s vital to understand the differences between sociopathy vs narcissism.

Sociopaths and narcissists can be charming, intelligent, and the life of the party, which makes it tricky to spot the deeper issues. While they share some overlapping traits, like a disregard for others’ feelings, there are key differences that set them apart.

Let’s unravel these d

Up Next

5 Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship (And How To Escape Their Trap)

Stages Of A Narcissistic Relationship: Toxic Cycle

From euphoria to despair, the toxic relationship cycle leaves lasting scars. Learn the stages of a narcissistic relationship to protect yourself from the emotional rollercoaster and avoid lasting trauma.

Narcissistic relationships often go through a painful cycle that is a predictable outgrowth of narcissistic personality disorder. Central to understanding a narcissist’s behavior is that their relationships are transactional.

Their impaired boundaries and lack of empathy prevent them from seeing other people as separate three-dimensional beings with needs and feelings of their own.

Up Next

Disenchanted Childhood: The Effects Of Self Centered Parenting on Children

The Harmful Effects Of Self Centered Parenting on Children

When you are on the opposite side of self centered parenting, it can have far-reaching effects on you and your psyche. Growing up with selfish parents can take a heavy toll on your mental and emotional health, and these effects can be felt even when you are an adult.


Self absorbed parents create role-reversed relationships with their children in which the child psychologically caters to the parent.

Children show psychological responses to selfish parents depending upon the child’s personality.

Some children acquiesce to self-focused parents’ demands, while ot

Up Next

Why Are We Attracted to Self Absorbed People? Unpacking the Appeal

Why We Are Attracted To Self Absorbed People: Insights

Being attracted to self absorbed people happens more often than you would believe. What is it about them that attracts us? Being attracted to self centered people is bad for us but still we find it hard to resist them. Let’s find out why.


Self centered people can immediately attract others with visual and auditory cues.

Initial positive attractions to self focused people do not hold up over time.

People attracted to narcissistic people possess their own distinctive traits.


Up Next

Dealing With A Narcissistic Parent: 5 Steps That Can Help Children Cope With One

Dealing With A Narcissistic Parent: Things Children Can Do

How to deal with a narcissistic parent? Communicating with a narcissistic parent or living with a narcissistic parent is without a doubt, one of the hardest and emotionally draining things a person can do, and even more so, when it’s their child. This post is going to talk about what it entails when it comes to dealing with a narcissistic parent.


Non-narcissistic parents can take specific steps to help children attain emotional health and coping skills.

Goals are to decrease role-reversal, increase assertiveness, and decrease enmeshment.

A new coping skill inc

Up Next

8 Signs Of A Toxic Sister In Law And The Best Ways To Handle Her

Signs Of A Toxic Sister In Law And How To Handle Her

Navigating family relationships can be as tranquil as a serene lake on a calm day or as tumultuous as the ocean during a storm. When it comes to in-laws, the waters can get particularly choppy, especially if you identify the signs of a toxic sister in law.

This relationship is peculiar; it’s not one you chose, like a friendship, nor is it one you’re born into, like a sibling. Instead, it’s a bond formed by marriage, which sometimes means the rules of engagement can be confusing and the boundary lines blurry.

At the heart of the family dynamic, sisters-in-law can be a source of great joy and camaraderie, or, u