“We think that forgiveness is weakness, but it’s absolutely not; it takes a very strong person to forgive.”
― T. D. Jakes
Was it all my fault? We ask ourselves this question frequently. As humans, we can be too harsh on ourselves when we’re hurt by rejection or when our feelings are violated, we tend to blame ourselves quickly.
Scars from the past do not heal easily, they take time. But once you accept yourself and your reality, and embrace it, you’ll be free from all the pain and despair. Being able to forgive yourself is a milestone to self-love and it requires a lot of compassion and empathy.
If there’s one thing you should learn this year, it is forgiveness, especially, forgiveness towards yourself. No matter what mistakes you have made, be kind to yourself and have the power to forgive yourself for that.
Here are 12 things you should forgive yourself for
1. Forgive Yourself For Your Past.
There’s a saying, “If you keep looking back, you will not go forward.” Most of us dwell in the past, whether it’s memories or things that may have happened.
You feel uncomfortable when someone mentions something that you had done in the past. You might have messed up an interview or your stage performance and that trauma is still with you.
It’s easy for past mistakes to haunt our present; however, it is important to remember that everyone makes mistakes. You will become stronger when you gracefully embrace your mistakes and learn from them. Look where you are now, you can achieve so much by moving forward!
Read 10 Tips To Let Go Of Your Painful Past
2. Forgive Yourself When You Feel Vulnerable.
“What happens when people open their hearts?” “They get better.”
― Haruki Murakami, Norwegian Wood
Feeling vulnerable is one of the most natural feeling that one can experience and you mustn’t fear being vulnerable.
Forgive yourself when you feel weak, we all have imperfections and flaws, so don’t reside in self-doubt or insecurities. As they say, “acceptance is key” and we should learn to accept and love ourselves, for all that we are.
Read How To Practice Forgiveness and Be Happier: 4 Simple Tips
3. Forgive Yourself For All Your Messed Up Relationships.
Relationships tend to be difficult and fail for many reasons, for instance when there is a lack of trust or communication, conflicting viewpoints, etc.
But, that doesn’t mean that your future relationships won’t work out. You have to focus on the present and not your failed relationships in the past, to love the person who is right for you.
If it didn’t work out, maybe it wasn’t meant to be. Even if you felt that the person was the one for you, you tried your best and now you have to let go of them. So, forgive yourself and begin living a life that brings you new experiences and brings out the best in you.
Read 10 Questions To Ask Yourself Before You Forgive Your Cheating Partner
4. Forgive Yourself When You Have Disrespected Your Parents.
Parents are the only ones who love us unconditionally. However, as teenagers, we are emotional, impulsive and moody. Even if you didn’t mean to, you acted awfully when your parents tried explaining something to you. Somehow, you were always infuriated by what they had to say.
No matter how old you are now, one way to forgive yourself for behaving rudely with them is by giving them a hug, telling them that you love them. Acknowledge your mistakes, it’s never too late to say sorry.
Read Escaping the Cycle of Suffering: Why You Should Forgive Your Parents
5. Forgive Yourself From The Guilt Of Being Judgmental.
As difficult as it seems, we have been internalized with stereotypes and judging people on the basis of what we see. It takes years of effort and unlearning to let go of biases. Sometimes, we do it unconsciously, and sometimes we do it consciously.
So it’s important that you recognize the things that could be negative and hurtful and try not to repeat them again. Lastly, forgive yourself for the guilt that you may have and focus on loving and accepting others for who they are.
Read 4 Effective Ways To Deal With Judgment And Judgemental People
6. Forgive Yourself For Not Taking Chances.
Many times we’ve avoided experiences in life because they involved taking risks. Whether it’s travelling to a new city for your dream job, avoiding to have ‘the talk’ with your partner or simply not asking out a cute person at the bar, because you chickened out.
You ponder upon the thought from time to time, what would your life be like if you would’ve said yes to that job offer or gone for that trip with your friends.
You need to forgive yourself and let go of the thought that you didn’t take enough risks or chances in life. Think of how happy you are now and respect your choices even if they weren’t bold and spontaneous.
Read 12 Things You Can Do To Build Your Self-Esteem: A Step-By-Step Guide
7. Forgive Yourself For Being Self-Critical.
“I look so fat in this dress.” or “They must think I’m an idiot.” Sometimes, we’re our worst critics, aren’t we?
You blame yourself for every bad thing that happens to you even though it might not be your fault.
In the journey of self-love, try to forgive yourself, instead of blaming yourself. Learn to recognize and replace negative self-talk with positive self-talk. For instance, instead of saying, “I can’t do this” try saying “I will try or I’m capable of doing it.” The kinder you are to yourself, the better you will feel about yourself and your abilities.
Read Self-Abuse: Are You In An Abusive Relationship with Yourself?
8. Forgive Yourself For Being Lazy.
You had a rough week and you don’t feel like working or doing any chores. It’s okay, it’s not possible to be productive all the time. If you want to slow down for some time, do it, and don’t feel guilty about it at all. We all work at different speeds, and working more than you can, will eventually burn you out.
You aren’t procrastinating, all you need is some rest to get back on track. Adulting is not exactly an easy thing, so trust me when I say that you aren’t being lazy. So forgive yourself, ditch unnecessary socialization, watch a movie in your PJ’s, and relax without guilt!
Read 5 Tips To Overcome Laziness and Be Productive
9. Forgive Yourself For Cutting Off Toxic People.
You need to forgive yourself for cutting off people who were toxic to your mental health. Whether they’re your family members, friends or spouse, you did the right thing! Your mental peace and happiness always comes first, and if you don’t take care of yourself, how are you supposed to take care of others?
Cutting off negative people from your life is a brave thing to do. Putting yourself and your happiness first, is the right thing to do. So, don’t think that you are a bad or difficult person, just because you chose to remove toxic people from your life.
There is no shame in burning bridges with people who hurt you, both mentally and physically. You don’t need to keep saving relationships at the cost of your own sanity.
Read Why You Don’t Always Need to Forgive
10. Forgive Yourself If You’re Having A Hard Time At Work.
It’s high time that you recognize this, that not everyone works the same way. Other than work we also have our personal and social lives, and those are equally important. Your career and job is not the be-all and end-all of life. Sure it’s an extremely important part, but never the only important part.
If you find yourself struggling at work, and feel like you can never do anything right, then don’t focus on what you cannot do, instead work on things you’re good at.
Take your time and learn new skills. Begin by forgiving yourself for not being able to give your 100% and tell others what you’re struggling with. There’s always room for new possibilities.
Read How To Be Productive While WFH
11. Forgive Yourself For The Times You Have Been Selfish.
The act of forgiving oneself is never selfish. Moreover, every now and then we should be selfish. Some people are selfish when it comes to their dreams, career or mental wellbeing.
There’s nothing to feel ashamed of when it comes to treating yourself with the simple pleasures of life. It could be a scoop of your favorite ice cream or buying the dress you always had your eye on, but never bought because you thought it’s unnecessary.
It’s okay to pamper yourself sometimes.
Read Forgive Yourself For Not Knowing Better At The Time
12. Forgive Yourself For Future Mistakes.
We all make mistakes in life, some in the past, some mistakes we are currently making and some that we will make in the future.
When you fall down, you get back up. You’ll screw things up and tell yourself that you’ll never repeat it again. But, that’s what life is. There is no human being on the face of the earth, who never makes mistakes. That’s the beauty of being human because your mistakes make you learn so many important things about life.
So, forgive yourself for the many mistakes you may have made and will make.
Read 8 Reasons To Forgive And Why It Matters
Wrapping up
These are the 12 things you should forgive yourself for.
Begin by admitting your mistakes and seeing them as a life lesson. This is the first step toward self-forgiveness. And, if you’ve caused someone pain, try to make amends and express your regret.
I hope they inspire you to let go of everything that is pulling you down, allowing you to live a peaceful life.
Read 5 Forgiveness Exercises To Heal Emotional Wounds in a Relationship
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