The Sadness In Your Soul: The Reason For Your Emotional Ups and Downs

Written By:

Written By:

The Sadness In Your Soul The Reason For Your Emotional Ups and Downs 1

Experiencing a distinct sadness in your soul sometimes, even when everything is going โ€˜fineโ€™ in your life, can be mentally painful.

Have you ever felt alone in a crowd?

Felt like a misfit even when the world seems to cheer you on?

Woken up early just before sunrise from a disturbing dream and been unable to shake off the emptiness?

Have you ever wondered about the pointlessness of your very existence, or what the point to all your striving is?

Do you get too close to people very quickly, and then get disappointed even quicker by them?

Do you feel inadequate no matter what your achievements are, and feel the need to keep proving yourself over and over?

Do you feel angry, sad, and scared all at the same time and take it out on those closest to you? And then hate yourself for being that wayโ€ฆ?

Stop. Inhale. Exhaleโ€ฆ deeply.

And know youโ€™re not alone.

There are many others who feel just like you, and the reason for your emotional ups and downs may be, unsurprisingly, buried deep in your childhood.

The Child Within

Sadness

Freud said that all our personalities are shaped by the time we are four years.

Which leaves an awful weight of responsibility in the hands of parents.

Who, letโ€™s face it, is nowhere near perfect, and are shaped by their own experiences, cultures, thoughts, and influencesโ€ฆ many of which are not conducive to positive child-rearing.

And the little helpless child is thus often neglected or becomes a social accessory or a base to build up parental dreamsโ€ฆ

Related: Why Healing your Inner Child is Crucial for Self-Growth

All of it leaving the defenseless child, who is without recourse to any other reference points or support, scarred and traumatized, and who then internalizes all this pain.

From late stage bed-wetting and thumb sucking to self-harm and suicide, the spectrum of the suffering of the child within can be broad and extreme.

The Adult Now

Sadness In Your Soul

Abused children eventually grow up and eventually leave home, but they carry that internalized pain around bandit expresses it in a variety of toxic ways.

They will become attention-seekers, thrill-seekers, hedonistic at one end of the spectrum, or they may be introverted, withdrawn and afraid at the other end of it.

Some may jump from one end of the spectrum to the other depending on the situation. But all of them will be hurting deep inside, often without even realizing it.

The uncomfortable feelings from childhood have been normalized. And yet they know, somehow, just somehow, that they are not quite right within themselves as they lock up the suffering child into a cycle of silence and pain.

The Voice Within

Sadness In Your Soul

Thereโ€™s a part of every human that just knows right from wrong. And while denial is a much more comยญยญยญfortable state to live in, one canโ€™t help but tune into that persistent nagging voice inside us.

That voice which tells us perhaps our parents were/are not all they are cracked up to be.

That the โ€˜happy families routineโ€™ we strive to create with them somehow always goes awry.

And that friends, no matter how loving, donโ€™t fill that empty space in our hearts.

Related: 8 Ways Reparenting Yourself Can Help Heal Your Inner Child

As children, itโ€™s impossible not to love our parents, or want validation from them, and as adults, we can waste an entire lifetime trying to give ourselves the childhood we never had.

And this happens by the simple act of never acknowledging that we had it bad as a young child.

This lack of acceptance keeps us imprisoned in the cage of pain that was built for us years ago when we were unable to build anything for ourselves.

The Actions Now

Sadness In Your Soul

But we CAN build for ourselves now. Thatโ€™s the beauty of being an adult. So stop. Inhale. Exhale. Deeply. And recognize that much as we may love our parents, they are, ultimately,ยญยญ just like us.

Flawed and prone to terrible mistakes. The worst one of which was not loving us the way we wanted and so desperately needed. Again, thereโ€™s a spectrum.

The odd spank, the harsh word, the denied request, or the scoldingโ€ฆ these can be forgotten.

But if one, or both, of our parents, put their needs before yours, were critical in the extreme, neglectful of our desires and talents, violent or otherwise abusiveโ€ฆ then we are left feeling all those awful feelings we described in the beginning.

And that is no way to live life.

Changing your pain to peace will be a life-long process, especially if there were narcissistic influences within the family set-up.

And a little soul-searching will help you see that there is no reason to tolerate abuse just because it comes from family members.

One of the worst things to happen to society everywhere is the assumption that family should be loved just because they are family.

This is a complete fallacy for simple rules of decent human conduct that would mean they need to earn our love and respect, just like everyone else has to, and vice-versa.

So! Take stock and acknowledge the child within.

He or she is begging to be heard over the thunder of childhood abuse and neglect. Take responsibility and give that child the help he or she deserves.

Be it talking your experiences through with a spouse, or a friend, or a therapistโ€ฆ even your parents if you think they will listen and hear you out.

Related: How to Heal Your Inner Child That Is Blocking You For Love

Though in most cases of severe neglect it is unlikely that the parent will have the self-awareness to offer closure to a child, and that just opens the wound further; so sometimes walking away bravely may be your only option.

But closure can happen, and resolution will be found, but the first step is acknowledging the root of your hurt, and the sadness in your soul โ€“ that those who were charged with your care and emotional well-being failed you in a very significant way.

The realization will help you understand that even if you canโ€™t change the history of your inner child, you can do a lot for the future adult and you can truly make the sadness in your soulยญยญยญ a thing of the past.


THE SADNESS IN YOUR SOUL
The Sadness In Your Soul  pin

— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Are You Making The Same Mistake Over And Over? Hereโ€™s How To Finally Stop!

Are You Making The Same Mistake Twice? Ways To Stop!

Weโ€™ve all been there. You swear you wonโ€™t do that again, whether itโ€™s sending a risky text, trusting the wrong person, overspending, or missing a deadline. And then, boom. You end up making the same mistake twice. 

The cycle repeats, frustration builds, and you wonder if youโ€™ll ever learn. But guess what? You can break free from the loop.

Habits, unconscious tendencies, and emotional biases cause us often to make the same mistakes. Even if seeking familiarity has unfavorable effects, our brains are programmed to do so.

We remain trapped in repetitive cycles due to a lack of self-awareness, a fear of change, and a failure to properly learn from prior experiences. Rather than addressing the underlying reasons of mistakes,

Up Next

5 Ways To Find Peace When You Are Taking The High Road

Taking The High Road? Ways To Let Go And Find Peace

Taking the high road can feel like a challenge, especially when things get messy. But letting go of attachments can help you a lot in doing that. Itโ€™s also one of the best ways to maintain your peace and stay true to who you are.

KEY POINTS

Taking the high road means behaving in line with our moral and ethical values even when others don’t.

Fear of being misunderstood, judged, or rejected by our peers can make it challenging to take the high road.

We can find a sense of peace if we recognize that our suffering on the high road stems from attachment.

Releasin

Up Next

Reclaim Focus: Overcome the Pitfalls of Shallow Learning

How To Replace Shallow Learning With Deep Learning ? Ways

Are you struggling to retain what you learn? Do distractions derail your progress? Discover how to replace shallow learning with deep learning and reclaim your focus!

Limit social media, engage deeply, and practice mindfulness to enhance focus.

Key points

Shallow learning reduces attention span and hampers deep learning that requires focus and critical thinking.

Deep learning is focused on problem-solving and connecting various sources of new and existing knowledge.

Counter shallow learning with mindful media use, engaging with long-form content, and promoting deep thinking.

Up Next

Boomerasking: The Silent Conversation Killer You Didn’t Know You Had

What Is Boomerasking? Signs You're Guilty Of This Bad Habit

We need to talk. And no, not about you, though thatโ€™s kind of the point. If youโ€™ve ever asked someone a question only to immediately shift the conversation back to yourself, you might be guilty of boomerasking.

What Is Boomerasking?

It is a conversational tactic identified by Harvard Business School’s professor Alison Wood Brooks, wherein a question that seems to show interest serves as a guise for the speaker to center the conversation about themself.

Up Next

Why Relationship FOMO Shouldn’t Define Your Love Life

Impacts Of Relationship FOMO To Your Love Life

Are you settling for love just because everyone else seems to have it? Is relationship FOMO driving your choices? Hereโ€™s why it shouldnโ€™t define your love life!

Lagging behind whose timeline? Here’s how anxiety can spoil relationship pacing.

Key points

Take time to understand the true motivations behind relationship pace.

It’s important to avoid perceived expectations and define success on one’s own terms.

โ€œExpected timelinesโ€ or โ€œgreener pasturesโ€ can create a sense of urgency and distress.

Up Next

5 Clear Signs You Possess The World’s Most Go Getter Personality

Amazing Go Getter Personality Traits: Do You Relate?

Not everyone wakes up ready to chase their dreams like their life depends on it, but you? Youโ€™re different. Having a go getter personality means that youโ€™ve got that spark, that unstoppable drive that makes people take notice. 

If youโ€™ve ever caught yourself wondering why youโ€™re the one always making moves while others are still talking about “someday”…

Here are five clear signs youโ€™re rocking the worldโ€™s most go-getter personality. Letโ€™s dive in and see if youโ€™ve got what it takes to claim the title.

Up Next

Learn To Honor Your Feelings: Your Hard Week Mattersโ€”Even If Others Have It Worse

Learn To Honor Your Feelings Great Ways To Do It

It’s okay to feel overwhelmed, even if others seem to have bigger struggles. Learn how to honor your feelings – they are valid, and you deserve acknowledgment!

How to honor your feelings without comparing them to othersโ€™ challenges.

Key points

Your emotions are valid no matter their scale or how they compare to othersโ€™ challenges.

Acknowledging your emotions builds your strength to support others with authenticity and genuine care.

Comparison of struggles creates a false hierarchy that undermines the importance of your own experience.

Research shows that acknowledging th