They’ll bounce right back to you
Gear yourself up for a prolonged struggle about your decision to break up. They won’t like how it affects their social standing and that they’ll now have to find someone else to take your place. They’ll suddenly be very nice to you and even pretend to have changed. They’ll keep coming back ‘just to talk’ on some pretext or another but what they’re really doing is trying to slowly manipulate you into falling for them again.
Like life, the break up is a cycle
The narcissist will deal with the ‘downs’ of the break up by creating a cycle wherein it is followed by the ‘ups’ of getting back together. This cannot be avoided if you are in a relationship with a narcissist. Even if they leave, they will return. If they’ve hurt you, they’ll apologize and put in a lot of effort to get you back only to hurt you again.
They are well-versed in using your kindness and love to their advantage. The whole act of hurting you, then getting you back is like an addictive game to them and they’ll need to keep doing it to be satisfied. As mentioned earlier, don’t react to any of the tricks they play. Even the smallest rise from you will give them satisfaction so just stay away and don’t feed the addiction.
Remember that you are a drug
No matter how long you’ve been together, the narcissist will always act like they control everything you do. No matter what lines you draw, they’ll overstep them and simply ask for your forgiveness later. It’s nice to believe that they keep coming back because they really love you and want to be with you. But more often than not, you’re just a way to feed their addiction.
Remember how a narcissist deals with breakup, the next time you are tempted to take them back, because you think that they have changed.
Ever since the breakup, they’ll try to continue the cycle of tearing you down and building you back up before tearing you down again. So, don’t give them any opportunities to reestablish themselves.
It will be tempting to believe that they really have changed but as soon as you relent, they’ll go back to their old ways. They’re only in it for the games they can play to retain their control over you.
Mentally prepare yourself for the insanity that will ensue when you break up with them. If you stay strong, they will eventually lose heart and probably go off looking for another victim.
Just remind yourself that you are worthy of a love that they cannot provide because they care for no one else but themselves. They do not deserve you and there is no reason for you to continue suffering.
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