While a toxic workplace may manifest in many ways, the majority of it arises from negative colleagues and negative energies at work. Here are some tips that will help you survive in such a workplace when things become toxic.
Other people suck. Just kiddingโฆbut sometimes it sure can feel that way! Dealing with people who complain or are negative can be draining.ย Both negativity and positivity are contagious.ย In our recent survey, Gloria asked if we could share some tips for managing negative energies or colleagues at work.
Here Are Ten Tips For Managing Negative Energies At Work:
1. Focus On Yourself And Whatโs In Your Control.
Remember who you are and whatโs important to you.ย Why are you here? (in this job, this situation, this roomโฆwhatโs your deeper motivation?) Thereโs something that matters to you. Maybe itโs having an impact on your work, or providing for your family.ย
Get clear on your valuesย and what matters to you, and make a decision toย notย let other peopleโs negativity derail you. Stay committed toย yourย truth andย yourย priorities if you want to deal with negative energies at work.
Focus on whatย youย can control. Only things that can be initiated by you or are in your control are worth your time and attention. Use the five powerful questions in step ten below anytime you feel stuck.
Related: How Accepting Things You Cannot Change Makes You Finally Free To Be Yourself
2. Exit Stage Left.
Refuse to get sucked into other peopleโs drama. If people around you are being negative or gossiping, remove yourself from the conversation. Leave the room if necessary. If youโre worried about offending people, try saying; โI need to go to the bathroom / make a call / get a glass of water,โ and simply excuse yourself.
Leave the room or leave the conversation. When thatโs not possible, redirect the conversation to more positive topics or simply stay quiet and go to your happy place inside. (Try this (free) 30 Day Meditation Challenge to feel more calm and peace in just 5 minutes a day)
3. Be A Gossip Free Zone.
Donโt gossip. Gossip lets people know youโre open to drama. It can be tempting to talk about others, especially as a way to build a connection through a common enemy. But in the end, gossip is a form of drama. Make a commitment to live a gossip-free life, and stop yourself whenever you say anything negative about others.
If people are gossipingย aroundย you, leave the conversation or say; โIโve made a commitment to only say positive things about othersโฆso Iโm just gonna be quiet!โ Thatโs a great way to deal with negative energies at work.
4. They Go Low, You Go High.ย
When in doubt, remember Michelle Obamaโs wonderful words; โWhen they go low, we go high.โ Be the better person, donโt stoop to other peopleโs level if theyโre trying to drag you down.
Remember youโre bigger than this. Life is bigger than this. When youโre on your deathbed, this situation wonโt matterย at all.ย Reframe by refocusing on the bigger picture and being the bigger person.ย
Related: 3 Biggest Myths About Boundaries and How Boundaries Brings Us Closer To Others
5. Acknowledge Your Triggers.ย
If you get sucked into other peopleโs drama, canโt stay neutral or calm, it means youโre triggered in some way. Something theyโre doing is a match for a pain point inย you. Otherwise, it wouldnโt bother you to this degree.ย
Get curious by asking yourself;ย โHmm, what does this remind me of? When have I felt this way before?โย
Do the work to clear your own triggers, and much of the drama around you will simply dissolve.
6. Let It Go. Donโt Fester.
Scream into a pillow, write in your journal or write a horrible letter to the person that youโll never share (write this at home! You donโt want it found at the office). Do what you need to get that crappy energy out of your system.ย One studyย found that people who journaled for three days, twenty minutes a day, reported significantly less depression scores.
There are a few meditations and energy healing techniques to let go of other peopleโs negative energies at work.ย
One quick and effective way to let go is to use deep belly breathing. Whenever you find yourself in a negative situation, take a few deep breaths all the way into your belly to calm yourself down. Inhale deeply to the count of five, and exhale to the count of eight. Having a longer exhale will activate your parasympathetic nervous system and help calm you down.
7. The Power Of Ritual.
Another helpful trick is to have a small ritual or daily habit to let go of other peopleโs negative energy. One client of mine who worked at a fast growth tech start-up liked visualizing letting go of the dayโs stress every time he got in the elevator to leave work. As the elevator went down, heโd imagine that he was releasing all the stress from his day. Then heโd listen to upbeat music as he left the elevator to get in a really happy mood.ย
Washing your hands or lighting a candle first thing when you get home from work is another simple, effective ritual. It sounds silly, but give it a shot and see for yourself. As you feel the warm water and bubbles of soap on your hands, visualize or imagine that youโre washing off other peopleโs negative energy and the stress from your day. Do thisย beforeย entering your private space with those you love. This will help you avoid bringing that negative energy into your home.
Related: 11 Morning Rituals That Can Change Your Life
8. Practice Self-Compassion And Forgiveness.
When youโre frustrated by the behavior of others, instead of judging them or beating yourself up for judging them, practice self-compassion. Start by saying to yourself; โThis is hard. Other people have struggled with this too. Let me be kind to myself at this moment.โย
Then, imagine what youโd say to a friend who was dealing with a similar situation. Say those same words to yourself.
You can also practice forgiveness towards the person whose behavior impacted you negatively. Try imagining them as a young child, innocent and happy. See if you can have compassion for that version of them.
Related: How Self-Compassion Can Fight Perfectionism
Remember, inside every bully, jerk or a**hole is a wounded little girl or boy who didnโt get what they needed.ย When someone feels whole and complete, they donโt feel the need to harm others. People lash out or are negative to others only because theyโre in pain themselves. Think back on a time when you did or said something youโre not proud of; were you hurting inside when you did it?ย
Put yourself in their shoes by thinking;ย โThis person, just like me, wants to be successful. This person, just like me, is trying to prove their worthiness. This person, just like me, wants to feel loved and cared for. This person, just like me, wants to be respected. This person, just like me, has experienced pain in their life and sometimes takes it out on others in an unproductive way. This person, just like me, deserves to feel love and belongingโฆ.โย
9. Surround Yourself With Happy People.
Hereโs a brutal, loving truth; if you constantly find yourself surrounded by miserable people, maybeย youโreย the common denominator! This is not a fun truth to acknowledge, but naming it is the first step to shifting it.ย
If this feels true to you, donโt beat yourself up. Itโs ok. You can make aย newย choice at any moment and begin surrounding yourself with happy people. Pay attention to the culture of an organization and look for red flags. Are the people genuinely happy to be there?ย
Think about what you need to be happy, and choose an organization thatโs a good fit (if youโre a parent who wants to leave by 4 pm to see your kidโs soccer game, donโt work at a start-up run by single twenty year olds who stay at the office until 8 pmโฆunless they seem empathetic. State your needs upfront and see how they react.)ย
One billionaireโs #1 piece of hiring advice is to hire happy people. Choose teams, bosses and companies with happy people. Make hiring happy people and working for happy people a priority. It really is that simple.ย
10. Donโt Be A Victim. Use These Five Powerful Questions.
Anytime you feel impacted by negative energies at work, try asking yourself the following five questions;
Hmmm, how am I contributing to this situation?
Hmmm, what is it Iย reallyย want (thatโs in my control and can be initiated by me)?
What am I willing to do to create that?
What is the gift or opportunity in this situation? How is this making me a better person?
What is this contrast showing me about myself and my desires? If this situation is showing me what Iย donโtย want, how do I want to choose differently next time?
These questions will help you stop feeling like a victim and start to feel empowered to choose your own reality.
Now that youโve read these ten tips for dealing with negative colleagues, weโd love to hear from you!ย
Leave a comment below and let us know, how do you handle other peopleโs negative energies at work!
Some of the best tools to manage other peopleโs negative energy involve practicing self-compassion, forgiveness, and deep breathingโฆall of which weโll be doing in theย 15 Day Meditation Challenge!
(Youโre in luck) Itโs not too late to join. Soโฆwhat are you waiting for?!ย Join now!
May you create work and a life you love,
Vanessaย
P.S.ย Enjoyed these tips for dealing with negative energies at work? Share this blog with your friends & family.
Written By: Vanessa Loder Originally Appeared On: Vanessaloder.com Republished with permission.
Leave a Reply