A lifetime of cultural conditioning may make this difficult to absorb! But there are things women don’t owe men.
As little girls, we have been told stories of beautiful princesses, graceful and elegant, coquettishly walking along the aisles of their palaces, enhancing the pride of their kingdoms by being polite and well-mannered and then finally marrying their Prince Charming.
But hold on! Reality Check!
Not all the men we meet are nice and our world is not surrounded by castles with maids at our services 24X7. We women of this twenty-first century have to work on our own, pay our bills, and do everything independently.
However, strangely and quite unfortunately, the world expects a lot more than this from us and when we do not conform to these demands, we are being called names, harassed and even attacked.
The newspapers are filled with women being harassed online and offline; every now and then, a woman gets raped for rejecting a lover, and so on.
Social media is filled with complaints from women who were asked to share their nude pictures with strangers just because they wore revealing clothes and posted in their Facebook or Twitter or Instagram.
It’s frightening and it’s scary how men tend to abuse another human being because of her gender, how men have a whole list of expectations from human beings because of our gender.
There’s no logic behind this because just because we are born as women, that doesn’t mean that we owe men everything.
If there are things that women owe men, then they are basic etiquettes every human being owes to another living being like respect, civility, acknowledgment of humanity and consideration.
We don’t owe men anything else, not our time, not our humility, not our attention and definitely, not our bodies. Time or attention or body isn’t dependent upon gender.
Related: Why Women Don’t Want a “Nice Guy”?
These are choices one adult makes with another adult and are completely given with consent. This choice has to come from within and there shouldn’t be anything forced regarding this.
Not all men go to extreme levels of harassment but generally, people have the tendency to put their expectations upon us, women like a burden. If one of our actions is not something they had expected, they will immediately react, ‘You are a woman. You are supposed to…’
No ! Just because we are women, we aren’t supposed to do this and that and definitely we aren’t supposed to be dictated by men or taught what to do and what not to.
We are individuals and we have our own choices. We are independent, we live independently, we are responsible for our economic freedom and our own happiness.
So, we aren’t obliged to do things for men if we don’t want to. These ideas are deeply rooted to our social hierarchy and we are not supposed to abide by them.
Here’s a list of things we women do not owe anyone:
Women do not owe sex to anyone.
Yes, we love our bodies. We take good care of our bodies, we go to the gym, we eat healthy food and wear beautiful clothes.
This is not because we want to sleep with men. This is just because we love ourselves and want to look good. Of course, we have our sexual desires too and it is our choice to decide with whom we would have sex and when.
A man might be our ex-boyfriend and we might have slept earlier. But that doesn’t imply we would be sleeping with him when he demands it.
Some of us might like sex without a relationship but that doesn’t mean we will sleep with any Tom, Dick, and Harry whenever they want us to. So, don’t abuse us or harass us just because we have refused sex.
(2) Niceness and all smiles:
Sorry folks! We aren’t nice always and smiling at each and everyone we see around us; definitely not to those who aren’t nice to us.
Don’t even expect us to be. Niceness is a reciprocation which one needs to earn. It’s not something we owe. Just because you are a man, you simply cannot behave badly and expect us to be nice.
That’s not something you will expect from anyone else, either. We aren’t like those Barbie dolls with that plastic smile.
We have our emotions, our depressions, our ups and downs, our mood-swings. So get rid of that fancy idea out of your head that women are nice and that gives you the liberty to do anything with them.
If we aren’t nice to you, deal with it yourself, ask yourself why and don’t harass us. If we aren’t smiling at you, then there might be some reasons.
You might be responsible for it or you might not be. But that doesn’t make any difference.
(3) Rejection and being more than friends:
Yes, we are pretty. You might be good too, handsome, a good job, talented. But we have every right to reject you. Yes, you are free to ask for reasons but sometimes, we might not tell you exactly why.
Just because one woman has rejected you, that doesn’t mean you will get rejected by others. That doesn’t also mean that you will keep on harassing her.
Also, we can’t just be more than friends. It’s completely our wish. Just be logical and deal with these issues like any other human being would.
Just because we are women, that doesn’t mean we will talk to you always. We might like to have a conversation with you or we might not.
Don’t blame us if we don’t because it’s a choice, not an obligation.
Understand us, understand women. We are human beings like you all.
We have our own lives. Love us and respect us.