How can I be more likable without being too desperate? How can I be more charismatic so that others accept me openly? Well, psychology has your back. Here’s how to be more likeable.
Likeability is a powerful trait
It’s like a superpower that can make your life easier and better. We all want to be liked! We can’t really help it. Being liked and respected by others, especially the people we care about, helps to boost our self-esteem & confidence and improves our mental & emotional health.
No wonder, we often think about how we can become more likable. Not just based on our appearance, but psychologically as well. There are certain psychological hacks and tricks that can make us more likeable to others, however, we might need to put in some effort to do that.
Psychology backed ways to be more likeable
So if you are wondering how to be more likeable, here’s how psychology can help you.
1. Look for common ground
Find out what’s common between you and the person you want to attract. Psychologists believe that the more we have in common with someone, the more we like them. Psychology studies have found that people who share similar personality patterns tend to like each other more than people who have different or dissimilar patterns. “Similarity of undesirable traits mattered more for liking than similarity of desirable traits,” explain researchers.
Related: 14 Handy Social Skills That’ll Make You More Likable Instantly
Due to cognitive evaluation and self-expansion, we focus more on someone’s characteristics to see if they are compatible. When we meet someone with similar traits, we believe we can develop a strong emotional connection, learn more from them and experience opportunities for development.
But wait, there are more psychology-backed strategies to explore when trying to figure out how to be more likeable.
2. Copy their behavior
This strategy is known as mirroring or the chameleon effect in psychology. Experts believe that when you subtly mimic or mirror someone’s behavior, they are more likely to engage with you and eventually like you. One study explains the chameleon effect as “nonconscious mimicry of the postures, mannerisms, facial expressions, and other behaviors of one’s interaction partners, such that one’s behavior passively and unintentionally changes to match that of others in one’s current social environment.”
So when you are talking to someone, make sure to copy their facial expressions, gestures, posture and stance. The sameness in your body language will subconsciously make the other person like you. Mirroring is a body language technique to increase attraction and rapport.
“Being a ‘chameleon’ has social consequences. Typically, mimicking someone causes the mimickee to have more positive feelings about the mimicker,” explains a 2020 study. It is a playful way to keep the conversation flowing. As the other person’s subconscious mind notices your similar behavior, your likeability increases instantly. This is how to be more likeable in a short span of time.
Related: The Mirror Effect Of An Empath and Why Empaths Are Hated
3. Be competent but clumsy
Still wondering how to be more likeable? Then be highly skilled but make mistakes at times. We all love competent individuals who know how to face challenges. But when that competent person acts clumsily at times, they become even more attractive. This is known as the Pratfall Effect. It is a psychological phenomenon where a highly competent person is considered more likable when they make casual mistakes and blunders.
One 2014 study found that a “superior” individual can become more attractive when they make a “clumsy blunder”. However, a similar mistake by a “mediocre” person can make them less attractive. The study adds “A superior person may be viewed as superhuman and, therefore, distant; a blunder tends to. humanize him and, consequently, increases his attractiveness.”
So if you believe that you are usually a competent person, then being clumsy at times can make you more likable as it will reveal that you are flawed, vulnerable and imperfect, making you more relatable to others. When you reveal your flaws to others, they will be more kind, empathetic and compassionate towards you.
These psychological tricks to attract people can help you to get anyone to like you. But there are many other ways to be likeable and make people like you. Let us explore some more behaviors that help you connect with anyone and make anyone like you.
Related: Power-Packed Body Language Tips For Making A Killer First Impression
How to be likeable
Thinking about how to influence people? Likability is a trait that most of us can learn to develop. While some of us are born charismatic and funny, the rest of us can become equally likable just with a little effort. Here’s how to be more likeable and attractive to others –
4. Improve your communication skills
Communication is the bedrock of any relationship. How we communicate with others tells a lot about who we are. Developing strong communication skills will help you express yourself more clearly and connect with everyone you meet.
So how to be more likeable through better communication? We’ve got you covered.
A. Talk more, but meaningfully
Talk more often and share your knowledge and experiences on different topics with others. The more people get to know about you, the more they will like you. Add real value to conversations.
B. Be respectful towards others
Be gentle and polite in your daily interactions, whether it’s with your loved ones or strangers. Avoid criticizing or judging people. Treat everyone with respect and others will connect with you more positively.
C. Control your insecurities
Never criticize yourself in front of others and always hold yourself in high regard without being arrogant or rude. Don’t let your insecurities affect how you communicate. Speak confidently and honestly and be assertive. People will treat you the way you treat yourself.
Related: 17 Hand Gestures That Can Improve Your Communication
D. Listen actively without interrupting the other person
Genuinely listen to what the other person has to say, use body language and verbal cues to respond appropriately. When you listen empathetically and without judgment, you will learn more about the other person and build a deeper connection.
Mastering communication is one of the key aspects to know about when finding out how to be more likeable.
5. Develop a positive attitude
Would you like to be friends with someone who is grouchy and is in a bad mood all the time? Probably not, right? We like to be around people who make us feel good… people who are similar to us. When you are positive and happy, more people will be attracted to you.
Happiness is contagious. So…
A. Smile and laugh out loud
Smile more often when you meet people. Studies show that smiling with your teeth displayed is considered as most attractive and aesthetic by others.
B. Turn off your ego
If you want to learn how to be more likeable, then say goodbye to your ego. When you want to be liked, accept when you are wrong, apologize when you should and avoid correcting people. Don’t take yourself seriously and have the courage to laugh at your flaws. Trying to prove others wrong will not help you make new friends.
C. Be more open and approachable
Make eye contact, uncross your arms, keep your phone aside and be warm when interacting with others. Have a relaxed body language, pay attention to people and show genuine interest. The more welcoming you are, the more people will like you.
Related: 5 Body Language Signs Of Attraction Backed By Science
That’s not all. Read on to know more about psychological tricks to make people fall for you.
6. Build desirable habits
This is one of the most important aspects of the puzzle when you are trying to solve – “how to be more likeable”. While we may mistakenly believe that most people are born with traits that make them likable, you can actually learn certain habits that can make you more attractive, pleasing and charismatic. Your likability depends on your emotional intelligence (EQ).
To be emotionally intelligent, you need to develop certain habits, such as –
A. Be your most genuine self
Instead of trying to pretend to be someone you are not, show people who you truly are. People naturally like someone who is not afraid to show their authentic personality, as long as you are respectful. Embrace yourself in all your flawed glory.
B. Be naturally kind and empathetic
Show kindness even to strangers. Being kind and considerate shows people that you have their best interests at heart. When you behave kindly and compassionately, you will inspire others and they will gravitate towards you.
C. Don’t hesitate to ask for a favor
Studies show that when you ask someone to do something nice for you, it can actually make them like you more. Known as the Ben Franklin Effect, when someone helps you, they will be more willing to help you again as it makes them feel good.
Related: 20 Useful Psychological Tricks That’ll Give You An Edge When Dealing With People
D. Be presentable and hygienic
Would you like to be friends with someone who looks like a hobo? While you don’t need to look like a movie star, it is important that you appear presentable when approaching people. So pay close attention to your personal hygiene, style and posture.
But is that all? Nope. There are more ways that you should learn when trying to figure out how to be more likeable.
7. Be a people person
If you want to be liked by others, you have to like being around people. Having great people skills can make you more lovable, charismatic and amusing to others. When you are a people person, others will like you naturally and will want to be around you.
So how can you be a people person? We have your back.
A. Like people to become likable
If you don’t enjoy being around people, then chances are people won’t enjoy being around you. When you appreciate someone’s presence and openly enjoy being around them, without being needy, they will feel the same about you.
B. Openly praise and compliment people
Everyone likes to be validated and reassured. But when you criticize and judge someone, they will start avoiding you. When you genuinely compliment someone on their positive qualities, they will associate you with positive emotions and reaffirmation. This is a very important step when answering how to be more likeable.
Related: 5 Body Language Tricks That Increase Attraction
C. Don’t be obsessed with yourself
Don’t talk about yourself all the time. Don’t act like you are better than everyone else. Don’t abuse others. Always keep the focus on the other person during conversations and talk about THEM. If you want people to like you, then make it about them, not about you.
D. Don’t seek attention
No one likes an attention seeker. When you become desperate for attention, you will push people away from you. Never force someone to like you. Instead pay attention to others and people will appreciate you a lot more.
So now you know how to be more likeable.
What do you like in other people?
Is it their confidence? Their sense of humor? Or their ability to make you feel good about yourself?
Developing the ability to become more socially desirable can add a lot of value to your relationships, career and social life. Being likable can boost your self-esteem, make you more confident and empathetic.
While not everyone we meet may like us, we can certainly learn to be more charming and attractive so that we can make more friends naturally.
Related: 9 Psychological Tricks To Make Someone Like You Instantly
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