9. You are incapable of letting go
When we have experienced emotional pain or heartbreak from someone close to us, then it becomes crucial that we start letting go to begin the healing process. Despite how difficult it can be, we always navigate our way through the problems and focus on a brighter, happier future. However, toxic people refuse to let go of those who hurt them. Not only do they hold on longer than they should, making the relationship more toxic, they are also unable to forgive, tend to be vengeful and hold grudges for a long time.
So if you are keener on hurting the person who wronged you then take steps to improve your own life, then it’s safe to say that you have a toxic mentality. If you are still asking yourself “Am I toxic?”, then this is one of the most crucial signs to look out for.
10. You don’t have any friends
One of the simplest ways to answer the question “Am I toxic?” is to take a look around and see how many people truly love and care for you. How many friends do you have? Friends who will stand by your side through thick and thin. People tend to stay away from toxic individuals as they often act like energy vampires. Toxic people only attract other toxic individuals. When you realize that most of your close friends and loved ones have pulled away or maintained a distance from you, then it’s a clear sign that you are toxic.
Jeanne explains “When people start leaving our lives, they tend to do it quietly in an attempt to avoid an uncomfortable confrontation. They are, after all, pulling away for a reason. It’s not until a special occasion, crisis, or significant event occurs that we realize how alone we’ve become.”
11. You complain a lot
As you have a tendency to constantly look at the negative side of things, you are prone to complain about your options, opportunities, and life. As you keep complaining about everything, you become more negative and drain others of their energy with your nagging behavior. “We all have hard days, but if you tend to focus on the negative or complain excessively, this also might have a negative impact on people,” writes Erica Bonham, LPC.
Still wondering “Am I toxic?” Then here are few more tell-tale signs that you need to look out for to understand how toxic and negative you may be, according to A Conscious Rethink:
12. You make people feel unworthy, unappreciated, unloved, ashamed, and embarrassed and hurt them emotionally. They end up feeling worse after interacting with you.
13. People often avoid you and don’t include you in their plans anymore. They never initiate contact and limit their interaction and exposure to you.
14. You have a superiority complex and strongly believe that you are better than everyone else. You are also highly critical and frequently criticize others for not doing things your way.
15. You are a manipulative and controlling person. You dominate others around you and emotionally manipulate them to get them to do what you want.
16. You don’t accept your own mistakes or apologize. You are very defensive and saying sorry is perhaps the hardest thing to do. However, making excuses is a lot easier for you, and you always have a reason for why you behaved in a certain way.
17. You use the kindness and compassion of others for your own personal gain. You see compassionate people as an opportunity to gain something without offering anything in return. You don’t appreciate the people who help you.
18. You put others down to appear smarter. Making fun of people and humiliating them in front of others is a strategy that you use to score brownie points. You don’t even refrain from making personal attacks.
19. When someone hurts your feelings or ego, then you can hold a grudge against them for years. Even if they apologize to you, you will not forgive them and let them know about it. You may even try to make them pay for hurting you.
20. You take everything personally. This can make you rather aggressive at times, especially when you engage in an argument or conflict. You can say or do anything to hurt them and ridicule them in unacceptable ways.
21. You never feel happy about others’ success, no matter how close they may be to you. You refuse to celebrate their success and might even drain them of their positivity with your toxic behavior.
22. You are not known for making compromises as you are rather controlling and manipulative. You always put your own needs first as you don’t really care if others suffer or not.