What I Learned While Growing A Moustache

For the month of November, I grew (am growing) a moustache.

I havenโ€™t had facial hair since the last time I grew a moustache, which was 3 years ago.

Thereโ€™re all kinds of nuisances and annoyances of having a moustache. Those small, coarse hairs annihilate my upper lip like a band of ninjas, stabbing my face with their tiny sword-like points. And the itchingโ€ฆoh, how I loathe the itching. The itching is bad enough, but when I go to scratch I get attacked again from the tiny ninja squad. Oh, the woes of manhood.

But thereโ€™s something else thatโ€™s also a bit annoying. Growing this sweet โ€˜stache has revealed yet again, that:

People donโ€™t say what theyย actuallyย think.

Growing A Moustache

Having a moustache on oneโ€™s face can be quite provocative especially when thereโ€™s not one normally there. I often do double-takes when passing a mirror, almost frightened by the image. Is that a cop from the 80โ€™s or a criminal? A cop from the 80โ€™s, of course.

As some of you may know, November (orย Movember, as itโ€™s called) is menโ€™s health awareness month. Itโ€™s an opportunity to bring awareness to things like prostate and testicular cancer. And what better way to bring awareness than growing a moustache!

But hereโ€™s the problem: I donโ€™t talk about prostate cancer or menโ€™s health issues unless someone brings up my moustache. Not because I donโ€™t want to, but because I often forget the moustache is even on my face!

But Iโ€™m not sure what Iโ€™ve been more bothered by: not bringing awareness to menโ€™s health issues orย people ignoring I have a moustache.

Read 6 Kinds Of Compliments Men Would Love To Hear More Often

Hereโ€™s are three different responses from people this month:

1. PRETEND IT DOESNโ€™T EXIST.

This is by far the most popular stance.

โ€œOh, Hey Derek! I didnโ€™t see you there!โ€

Didnโ€™t see me? I look exactly the same. Iโ€™m just exercising my facial-hair-follicle-freedom. I have rights, you know!

Thereโ€™s always this brief pause before a friend or family member says hello or embraces me. Itโ€™s like theyโ€™re trying to figure out if what is on my upper lip is on purpose or not. I mean, if it werenโ€™t, Iโ€™m SURE theyโ€™d try to help me out.

โ€œHey man, youโ€™ve got a caterpillar crawling across your face or something kind of looks like a moustache.โ€

No duh.

2. PRETEND ITโ€™S THE COOLEST THING IN THE WORLD.

Growing A Moustache

โ€œNice work, Derek! Rockinโ€™ the moustache. I like it.โ€

Donโ€™t lie to me. Seriously. I donโ€™t even like it. If I donโ€™t like it, surely you donโ€™t like it. Itโ€™s kind of weird (at least at this stage. not-quite-full-grown-โ€˜stache stage). If you had a daughter, youโ€™d probably try to shield her for fear of me being a creeper.

I assure you, Iโ€™m not.

3. PRETEND YOUโ€™RE MY REAL FRIEND AND TELL ME THE TRUTH.

Only one person did this. While most avoided the obvious, and a few sprinkled on some moustache glory, one friend supported me with the truth.

He laughed out loud when he saw me.

Iโ€™m not talking about a giggle or snicker. No, no those are way too gentle of words.

He belly laughed for a good amount of time before he could even speak. And when he did speak, he said,

โ€œWhat is on your FACE?!โ€

Now thatโ€™s a true friend. Someone who will tell you like it is. Someone who isnโ€™t afraid to hurt your feelings, your pride, or your manhood.

Someone who tells you the truth even when youโ€™re trying to do something for a good cause.

Why donโ€™t people say what they really think or feel? Why do we avoid communicating what we actually want to say?

Read Getting a Professional Profile Picture: The Good, the Bad and the Ugly

MY THEORY?ย LACK OF CONNECTION.

When youโ€™re truly connected to someone, youโ€™re vulnerable. But vulnerability poses a threat. When youโ€™re vulnerable, youโ€™re open to getting hurt. Youโ€™re intentionally leaving yourself open to possible harm.

But unless we become vulnerable, weโ€™ll never truly feelย connected. And if weโ€™re not connected, weโ€™ll never actually say or do what we think.

I tell my wife everything. Absolutely everything. All my victories and shortcomings are shared with her. She knows the best of me and the worst of me. And vice versa.

If I intentionally kept things from her, I wouldย damage the connection. And of all the people I need to stay vulnerable with, itโ€™s my spouse.

And the beautiful thing about vulnerability and connection is the freedom that results. You can only beย freeย when youโ€™re willing to beย vulnerable.

Yes, youโ€™ll probably get hurt sometimes. But youโ€™ll also experience the deepest, most meaningful relationships of your life.

So the next time you see someone growing a moustache or doing something different, donโ€™t avoid it or pretend to like it.


Written by DEREK HARVEY
Originally appeared in Derek Harvey

What I Learned While Growing A Moustache

— Share —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Things People Learn Too Late In Life: 7 Eye-Opening Life Lessons

Things People Learn Too Late in Life Eye Opening Life Lessons

Life is full of unexpected events and sometimes there are things people learn too late. Though some lessons come with age and experience, as time goes by, we often wish we had known some important truths sooner.

These moments of truth can be very shocking as well as transformative, they help us live authentically, appreciate what truly matters, and make the most of our time. Below are seven crucial life lessons people learn too late and can still change the way they approach life.

7 Things People Learn Too Late In

Up Next

Anger and Emotions: What’s Really Setting Us Off?

Anger and Emotion Whats Really Setting Us Off

Ever wonder whatโ€™s really fueling your anger and emotions? Discover how a mindful approach can help you regain inner peace in your life!

Taking a mindful approach to exploring why we are angry.

Key points

Anger is a secondary emotion.

Anger is a warning sign that lets us know there is an issue to address.

Knowing what we are feeling will help us to address the source of our anger.

Anger can hit us when we least expect it. There are some people who get angry and not know what they are angry about. The

Up Next

How I Hacked My Personality: Steps To Be The Better Version Of Myself

How I Hacked My Personality

Can we truly reshape our personalities for lasting change? Discover Dr. Shannon Sauer-Zavala’s article “How I hacked my personality” and learn how small shifts in mindset and behavior can lead to meaningful transformation in your life.

A Personal Perspective: Science-backed strategies for intentional trait change.

Key points

Research suggests that personality changes over time.

We can speed up personality change by taking intentional action.

Changes that are reinforced by the environment are easier to maintain.

Up Next

Women Empowerment: The Rebecca Effect in “Ted Lasso”

Rebecca Effect In Ted Lasso Women Empowerment

Can women turn negative experiences into empowerment? Discover the โ€œRebecca Effectโ€ from Ted Lasso and transform your personal trials into powerful self-acceptance!

Personal Perspective: Empowering women to transform shame and betrayal.

Key points

“Ted Lasso” inspired with imperfect, endearing characters whose trials and transformations mirrored our own.

The โ€œRebecca Effectโ€ is the empowerment and transformation possible when we have been oppressed or shamed.

The “Rebecca Effect” is the process through which women embrace themselves in totality.

Up Next

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

The Healing Power of Emotional Tears

Ever wondered why we shed emotional tears? Tears serve a healing purpose. Explore how it plays an important role for our well-being.

Emotional tears are an expression of our shared humanity.

Emotional tears, expressed by children, teens, and adults, are a universal experience observed across the globe. Emotional tears play a healing role, leading to our emotional and physical well-being. This post explores the value of emotional tears and the importance of presence and support from family and friends during unexpected

Read More Here: โ€œWhy Am I Always On The Verg

Up Next

10 Important Weekly Reflection Questions You Need To Ask Yourself

If you feel stuck and want to keep track of your goals every week, then weekly reflection questions can really help you. Weekly reflection questions can help you check in with yourself and make sure youโ€™re headed in the right direction. These are the questions you need to ask yourself every week to keep growing and moving forward.

Have you ever had a week with so much going on that you end the week feeling overwhelmed and exhausted? I know I have been there. Sometimes, the week goes by so fast that itโ€™s over before I know it, and there is no time left to process it.

A weekly reflection can help evaluate if what you are doing is working. It fosters self-growth. So, pull out that weekly reflection journal and answer the weekly reflection prompts below.

Up Next

Why Is Lying Wrong? Morals Are Not The Only Reason

โ€œI must not tell liesโ€œ, this famous line from Harry Potter is more than just a dialogue. Dolores Umbridge, made Harry Potter cut these words as a permanent mark on the back of his hand. But if asked โ€œWhy is lying wrong?โ€ The answer is always moralistic, which is subjective.

(adsbygoogle = window.adsbygoogle || []).push({});

We have all received punishment