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5 Reasons Why You Might Want to End Your Relationship

If you are considering ending your relationship, you might want to read this

5 Reasons Why You Might Want to End Your Relationship

When I married my ex-husband in 1963, I was determined to create a stable, loving relationship. I wanted an intact family where we could raise our children and share the joys of our grandchildren.

We did raise our children together but ended the marriage after 30 years. We do get to share the joys of our grandchildren, but as friends rather than partners.

Through the process of our difficult marriage, and my 43 years of counseling individuals and couples, I learned much about why it is better for some relationships to end.

 

1. Physical and/or Verbal Abuse

If there is physical abuse or severe verbal abuse, this relationship should end. It is never loving to yourself to stay in a relationship that is physically dangerous to you or to your children. Nor is it loving to yourself or your family for you to be consistently subjected to intense, heartbreaking verbal abuse.

Everyone deserves to be loved and supported for who they are, and if you are with a partner who cannot do this, then you need to love and support yourself enough to not be subjected to abuse.

 

2. Addictions

Substance addictions such as alcohol or drugs, that interfere with the ability of you and your partner to connect with each other, can cause much loneliness and heartbreak. As much as you and your partner might love each other, you deserve to be with someone whose love is reliable.

Process addictions, such as a gambling addiction that threatens your financial security, or a sexual addiction (porn, affairs) lead to much heartbreak and lack of trust. Affairs can also lead to physical danger, due to sexually transmitted diseases. Unless your partner wants to heal these addictions and is receiving help, you will continue to suffer and be at the mercy of the addictions.

 

3. Personality Disorder

While personality disorders such as Narcissistic Personality Disorder (NPD) or Borderline Personality Disorder (BPD) can be healed, it takes much motivation on the part of the person with the disorder to heal it. If there is no motivation to heal, then being at the other end of the anger, neediness, control issues and crazy-making may not be healthy for you. Expecting someone to change if they are not receiving intensive help is completely unrealistic – you will wait forever.

 

4. Growing Apart

People are attracted at their common level of woundedness or their common level of health. If you and your partner were both abandoning yourselves when you met, and if you went on a healing and growth path but your partner didn’t, then it is likely that you have grown apart.

This is what happened in my marriage. As I learned and healed, our formerly codependent system shifted and I was no longer willing to be a caretaker. Our relationship was based on the caretaker/taker codependent system, so when I shifted the system, we stopped being able to connect on the wounded level on which we previously connected. When our relationship reached a place where there was no more learning and growth occurring, and no connection between us, it was time to move on.

Written by Dr. Margaret Paul

CO-CREATOR OF INNER BONDING Dr. Paul is the author/co-author of several best-selling books, including Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By You, Inner Bonding, Healing Your Aloneness, The Healing Your Aloneness Workbook, Do I Have To Give Up Me to Be Loved By My Kids, and Do I Have To Give Up Me To Be Loved By God Dr. Paul's books have been distributed around the world and have been translated into eleven languages.Dr. Margaret holds a Ph.D. in psychology and is a relationship expert, noted public speaker, workshop leader, educator, chaplain, consultant, and artist. She has appeared on many radio and TV shows, including the Oprah show. She has successfully worked with thousands of individuals, couples and business relationships and taught classes and seminars since 1967.Margaret continues to work with individuals and couples throughout the world on the phone and on Skype. She is able to access her own and her client's spiritual Guidance during her sessions, which enables her to work with people wherever they are in the world. Her current passion is working on and developing content for this Website, as well as distributing SelfQuest, the software program that teaches Inner Bonding and is donated to prisons and schools, as well as sold to the general public.Margaret Paul, PhDFor information or to schedule a phone or Skype session: 310-459-1700 : 888-646-6372 (888-6INNERBOND)Anxious, Depressed, Addicted, Empty, Relationship struggles, Inner Bonding - The Power To Heal Yourself! http://www.innerbonding.com

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