Everyone wants love, but what happens when your ‘loving’ partner brings more harm than good? If you’re drawn to unhealthy relationships, it’s time to change.
In the dating world, being in an unsatisfying or unhealthy relationship at one point or another isn’t all that uncommon, but if you find that each person you date seems to have the same toxic personality then you may have a problem.
The best relationship advice you can take is to put yourself first in your life. Sure, bad boys and aloof girls have their charms at first, but these relationships don’t take long before you’re the one left feeling unhappy and under-appreciated.
Here are 4 promises you need to make today that will help you stop dating jerks and start building healthy relationships.
1. I Promise to Take Care of Myself
Some of the best relationship advice you could ever follow is to take care of yourself before committing to caring for someone else. Your mental and physical health plays a huge role in who you end up with, so it’s essential that you’re actively looking for ways to be the best you possible.
• Body: Working out is a great way to take care of yourself. Not only does working out and eating right help boost your overall health, it will also make you feel more confident about your body.
• Mind: It is essential that you take care of your mental health, regardless of whether you have any diagnosed conditions. The happier you are, the less likely you will be to pursue unhealthy partnerships.
Experiment with new hobbies or make time for old favorites. Keep an appreciation journal. Choose one thing you want to change or start doing and make small strides toward that goal daily. Another way you can take care of your mental health is to surround yourself with positive influences.
One way you can improve your mental health is to practice daily meditation. Of course, this doesn’t mean you have to sit with your legs crossed and hum to yourself! Why not take 10 minutes a day to sit outside and think, have a coffee by yourself, pray, or take a bubble bath?
Practicing these things can help lower anxiety, boost happiness and help clear your mind.
2. I Promise to Be Honest
If you find yourself uttering the phrase: ‘I always seem to attract ___ type of person!’ to your friends, you may need to step back and do an honest self-evaluation. What kind of vibe are you sending out to other singles?
Your confidence speaks volumes to others and demands a certain level of respect that is beneficial for relationships.
Another way you can be honest with yourself is by assessing how you are going about meeting people and then changing it.
For example, are you meeting men or women on an app that’s specifically designed for hookups? If so, this probably isn’t the best way to meet someone you want to have an actual relationship with. Are you meeting women at clubs who are more interesting in dancing than starting something with you?
If you want an honest, healthy relationship, you need to change how you’re going about meeting people. Look for partners who you already know you have something in common with. Take up a class, look for someone you run into daily, or ask your friends if they know anyone single who is looking for a real relationship.
3. I Promise to Practice Self-Love
Many people settle for unhealthy relationships because they are afraid of being alone. Don’t let this be the case with you. Instead of fearing the single-life, learn to love it! You can do this by practicing self-love.
Self-love is a psychological state where you can express love and appreciation for your personality, your beauty, your spiritual side, and your actions. This should not be confused with being over-confident or arrogant.
You can practice self-love by dressing up, doing something that you enjoy, and making a list of all of your good qualities. Many people also find it beneficial to verbalize positive affirmations daily.
By loving yourself you will be able to live intentionally, forgive yourself, accept yourself, and protect yourself from negative people. You will no longer be afraid to leave a toxic relationship for fear of being alone – because you’re all the good company you need!
4. I Promise to Trust my Instincts
Have you ever been in a relationship where you just knew in the pit of your stomach that something wasn’t right? Your heart may tell you one thing, but your intuition is telling you another. Listen to it.
Gut instinct, or your own personal intuition, is that feeling you get where you don’t have to think about something, you just instinctively know what the right answer is. People often feel this way when they know they are being lied to by a romantic partner or feel that trust is being broken somehow.
Instead of following your heart, start following your gut. Doing so will help you set standards for what should and should not be accepted in healthy relationships
You can follow your gut by:
– Not over-thinking things or reasoning away what your intuition is telling you.
– Focusing on what the situation “is” instead of what it “could be”.
– Detaching from material things that would prevent you from leaving an unhealthy relationship (e.g. This isn’t a healthy relationship, but he pays the bills)
– Ignoring what your heart tells you when you know deep down it could lead to trouble.
– Showing self-love by putting your well-being ahead of others.
– Clear your mind and meditate on why your gut is leading you a certain way.
The best relationship advice you can follow to stop attracting unhealthy relationships is by promising to take care of yourself, trust your gut instincts when it comes to love, get to know yourself better, and practice self-love regularly. Banish bad habits that prevent you from being in a happy, healthy relationship.