5 Common Myths About Depression

Common Myths About Depression

Unfortunately, when it comes to mental health, there are many myths about depression swirling out there, which people tend to believe in a second.

I was diagnosed with clinical depression about two years ago. Sadly, this didn’t lead to me beginning a wacky romance with a free-spirited girl who taught me to embrace life and love myself for who I am. I just started taking prescription drugs, made a few lifestyle changes, and felt smugly justified about listening to Joy Division.

All the time I spent not Silver Linings Playbook-ing it up made me realize that a lot of what I thought I knew about depression was about as accurate as what elementary school children know about where babies come from.

If you haven’t experienced mental illness for yourself, there’s a chance you believe ridiculous things like …

Here Are 5 Common Myths About Depression

#5. Depressed People Are Constantly Miserable and Alone

Despite what we see in pop culture, depression is not a constant parade of doom and despair. That’s one of the reasons people have so much trouble noticing that their friend is depressed — how could Steve be depressed when he hosted such a smooth and bubbly orgy last week?

People will often feel at their best when they’re socializing because life’s problems fade into the background when a stranger buries their face in your junk. But when you’re alone, curled up in a ball of fear and panic like a kitten cuddling with the yarn ball of sadness, that’s when depression fucks you over. Your friends aren’t there to see it, and you don’t want to talk to them about it because your brain is telling you that the shits they give will be precisely zero.

There will also be times when you feel fine on your own but miserable with friends. Your mood almost seems to be random, like your brain is playing roulette with your emotions and it’s had too many comped drinks. That may explain the public nudity charges, but it doesn’t really fly with a judge. Trust me on that one.

Even when you’re being treated, you’re not always going to be at 100 percent. I have days where I wake up and feel like I’m going to rip life a new Saturday, but on other days I lie in bed for hours because the only thing I think would be worth getting up for is throwing myself in front of a bus made out of swords. Then there are the days where I do nothing but eat Oreos and masturbate. That has nothing to do with the depression; I just really like eating Oreos and masturbating. I call it cookies and cream. I’m not apologizing for that joke.

The point is that when you’re depressed, you’re in a constant battle with your dumb brain for control of your life. You can win and turn those crappy days around, but you have to know the fight is happening. Don’t assume the battle is won, or that there isn’t even a battle going on. You may be fighting for the rest of your life. Depression is the Warhammer of illnesses, basically.

Related: 5 Myths About Depression That Should Be Done Away With Immediately

#4. Depression Just Means Being Sad

One of the most common myths about depression is that it means being sad. When you hear that someone’s depressed, you assume they’re sad, because duh, it’s right there in the name. It’s not called happission. But while most depressed people do feel like they’re having a week-long case of the goths, it punches everyone’s crotch differently.

Some people end up with an anger trigger that the Hulk would consider extreme. That’s because one way to feel better about yourself is to make other people feel like shit, so a nice bout of telling your neighbor’s kid that his finger paintings look like they were done by a quadriplegic chimpanzee can be just the thing to pick you up. Sure, you’re still depressed, but at least you’re not a stupid idiot that can’t even paint a simple kitty cat. This is especially problematic because friends and family will be less enthusiastic about reaching out to someone who might bite their hand off.

Contradictory symptoms are part of what makes depression difficult to detect. You might have trouble falling asleep or you might oversleep, and either way, you might not realize that it’s part of a bigger problem. I was sleeping until noon on weekends for months before I started to wonder if it wasn’t only because I was staying up late to alphabetize my pornography.

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