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Why Do Narcissists Go Back After Discarding Someone?

Narcissists Go Back After Discarding Someone

Why do narcissists come back after discarding someone? Well, the answer is simple – they always come back to get their supply. Sometimes it takes time to realize that you are actually in their recycling process. They are looking for partners (read victims) who make them feel special. And once you’ve entertained them, they are likely to come back to you even after a breakup.

Think back to that glorious time when you were courted by the narcissist who ensnared you. Amidst the delight and excitement of that powerful and dizzying seduction, there is a good chance that mention was made of his or her ex. That person was the devil incarnate, weren’t they?

They were an abuser, a drunk, an addict, a gold-digger, a gambler, never worked, a sponger, never helped around the house, never helped with the children, bad-tempered, unsociable, awkward, played video games all day, and so on. No doubt your narcissist’s ex was one or more of those things. They were smeared on you from the off.

  • “He is just plain evil.”
  • “She is utterly bat shit crazy.”
  • “You won’t want to meet her; she is a fruit loop.”
  • “He is violent and nasty. Charming on the outside but horrible on the inside.”
Why Do Narcissists Go Back After Discarding Someone?
Control How You Respond When The Narcissist Comes Back

A hundred different ways to ensure that you thought ill of the predecessor ex and more highly of us. Praise for having broken free, sympathy for what we endured, encouragement for being with you. The fuel flowed as we recounted tale after tale of terrible treatment. All of this was told after we had jettisoned this person as we embedded you into our world.

It may even have been the case that you commenced an affair with us. We admitted we were married, lived with somebody, or were in a relationship but a combination of our charismatic magnetism and the tales of woe about how our partner was horrible and abusive meant that you saw somebody wonderful in need of your love and you felt no real concerns at interfering in our relationship.

After all, how many times did we tell you that we never had sex with them anymore, that we did not even share a bed, how we were only together for the sake of the children, and a hundred other reasons that are given to entice you and reassure you that it is you we want.

We may well have even left our partner to be with you. You triumphed. Good overcame evil as you ensured that we had the support, courage, and determination to escape their horrible treatment of us. You had us to yourself and the golden period could truly commence.

Sometime later, it might be weeks, it could be months and possibly even years, something strange happened. We went back. You were unceremoniously dropped and we returned to the arms of the ex-partner once again.

How could this be so? How could we return to someone so horrible, so abusive, so evil? How could we go back to this person about whom we told you so many stories of their abusive behavior and ugly character? How could we return after you rescued us from them?

Why do narcissists come back?
Hoover tactics: Why Do Narcissists Come Back After Discard?

How could we do this after everything you have done for us? Whereas the ex was horrible, you were delightful, the ex did not care, you never stopped caring and where the ex was cruel, you were wonderful.

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Tudor HG

I am HG Tudor. I am a narcissistic sociopath (some state psychopath – this remains a matter of debate by the profession concerning the current application of sociopath or psychopath). By my terminology, I am a Greater Elite Narcissist. You will learn here what that means along with all about the other types of narcissists and empaths too. I convey this is an effective manner based on my perspective. I know what I am and I know the best way to communicate this to you. I am a very effective communicator. I write extensively about what this means and what I am. I have practiced this dark art for many years, I have honed and crafted my abilities. I am aware of what I am and I am engaged in understanding why I am this way and why I act as I do. I am sharing these ongoing revelations.HG Tudor is the author of several books. View complete list of books hereView Author posts