Men also have their share of secrets that they hide from women.
As written by a man.
Men aren’t exactly known for being forthcoming.
There’s the stereotype of the stoic cowboy or the tough, quiet manly-man, but the reality is that, more often than not, men aren’t raised to express their feelings. They’re told to suck it up, keep it together, lock it down.
And, while that might make them seem cool and strong to some, what is also means is this — YOUR MAN HAS SECRETS. (He does.) Your man has a vivid internal life that he does not share with others. That doesn’t apply to EVERY man, of course. Some men never stop talking about their inner selves.
But it’s really, really common for men to learn the value of keeping things to themselves at an early age.
They can be small things (“That skirt makes you look like the librarian in Ghost busters”) or big things (“I don’t want to die alone”).
Regardless, most men do have a running list of secrets that they don’t really want to admit to anyone, especially someone they’re falling in love with.
If you’re interested in the secret lives of men, 10 big, common things that your man will probably never, ever tell you.
1. He’s insecure about his body.
He is. Even if he looks like David Beckham.
Men might not always pay attention to their personal hygiene, but that doesn’t mean that he’s not hyper-sensitive about every love handle, wrinkle, or graying hair on his body.
He might wear the same hoodie every day, but he still worries that he’s not as pretty as he once was.
2. He doesn’t have anyone to talk to.
Male friendships are decidedly different than female friendships.
One of the biggest differences is that, typically, men don’t use their friends as a sounding board for what’s going on in their lives. They might discuss vacation plans, TV shows, or how things are going at work, but way too often, men don’t feel comfortable talking with their buddies about life, death, anxiety, fear, and everything in between.
And that’s a shame. It’s a lonely shame.
Keep that in mind the next time your man is struggling to discuss the BIG issues with you. He doesn’t get a lot of practice.
3. He likes The Gilmore Girls.
He does. It’s smart, funny, well-acted.
But there’s WAY more of a social stigma of him being a Gilmore Guy than you being into Sons of Anarchy, so maybe that’s why he doesn’t always advertise that he’s on #TeamJess.
4. No one compliments him.
Men get a lot of validation in school and office settings, but there isn’t really a culture that supports men receiving casual compliments from their peers.
Are you mad that your man didn’t notice your new jeans? When was the last time you noticed his new shirt? Or the last time you told him that he looked great when it wasn’t a special occasion?
Men need the same kind of validation that women need — they’re just not good at asking for it.
5. He doesn’t know what he’s doing during Physical intimacy.
He doesn’t. He’s making it up as he goes. And there’s some pressure there because maintaining an erection isn’t always the easiest thing to do.
Even if the spirit is willing, the flesh can be weak, and that’s a soul-crushingly embarrassing thing to have happen during the throes of passion. (He can’t help it.)
Plus it’s WAY harder to make you orgasm than it is to make him orgasm.
Which, granted, sucks for you, but it just adds to the pressure placed on his shoulders.