8. They don’t have a life outside of you
If your partner has a small social circle, then it’s natural for them to want to spend more time with you and be possessive. This makes them completely dependent on you for their self-esteem and sense of self-worth.
9. They get upset when you’re busy
Your partner can never accept the fact that you may be busy in your personal and professional life. Regardless of what you are doing or how important it might be to you, you always need to be available for them. They expect you to be available at a moment’s notice. If you ever try to stand up for your rights and ask for space, they will get irritated and angry and may even start abusing you.
10. They are jealous of your opposite-sex friends
Although being jealous of any potential romantic rival is natural in any relationship, a possessive boyfriend or girlfriend will become excessively upset when you spend time with friends of the opposite gender, especially someone who likes you romantically. This can make your partner doubtful and delusional to a point that they start believing you’re having a sexual or emotional affair. Researchers have found that men tend to be more upset about sexual infidelity of their partner, while women tend to be upset more about emotional infidelity of their intimate partner.
11. They have unrealistic expectations
Expectations can lead to a lot of issues even in healthy relationships. However, when your partner is over possessive they will have unrealistic expectations from the relationship and will demand you meet them all. A possessive boyfriend or girlfriend might push you into making a long-term commitment like getting engaged or living together and make you feel the pressure to commit constantly. Moreover, your partner will believe that they should be the only person in your life and your life should revolve around them.
12. They don’t want to hear ‘No’
If you disagree with anything they say or ask, they will become extremely upset and will respond in a toxic manner. They will either emotionally manipulate you or will become increasingly demanding to make you pay for saying ‘no’.
13. They become defensive
Every time you try to communicate openly and tell your possessive boyfriend or girlfriend that they need to respect your personal space and accept you for what you are, they immediately become defensive. They are unapologetic and promptly offer numerous excuses to support and justify their behaviors and actions. They don’t think they are wrong and this is how relationships usually work. They always have some type of justification prepared when confronted.
How to deal with a possessive partner
“A competent and self-confident person is incapable of jealousy in anything. Jealousy is invariably a symptom of neurotic insecurity.” – Robert A. Heinlein
Can you identify some or all of these signs of a possessive partner? Is your relationship healthy or destructive? Possessiveness in relationships stems from insecurity, which finds its roots in the fear of abandonment, helplessness and rejection. The main reason possessive boyfriend or girlfriend is controlling is because they have an exceptional dearth of self-confidence and self-love. They believe they need you to feel secure and happy.
Here are a few ways you can deal with possessiveness in your romantic relationship:
1. Boost your self-confidence and self-respect
Possessiveness can seriously affect your self-esteem and you need to re-establish your self-confidence. Practice self-care and self-assertiveness and learn to stand up for your rights.
2. Talk to your partner
Take some time out and sit down with your partner to have an open and honest conversation about how their controlling behavior affects you. Make sure you’re calm and composed and refrain from getting too emotional. Moreover, you need to be patient and assertive while listening to your partner.
Tell your boyfriend or girlfriend how much you love them and try to make them feel safe and secure in the relationship.