Surviving a Relationship Breakdown: How to Navigate the Stages and Find Closure

Have you ever been in a relationship that just didn’t work out? Despite your best efforts, things started to crumble, and eventually, the relationship fell apart? A relationship breakdown can be tough but there are ways to overcome it.

So, what causes breakdowns in relationships?

Now, a relationship breakdown can happen for a variety of reasons.

In many cases, relationship breakdowns occur when one or both partners begin to feel unfulfilled or dissatisfied in the relationship, and they are unable to work through their issues together.

Red Flags For A Relationship Breakdown

Relationships are beautiful, but they can also become messy and complicated at times. It’s important to remember that every relationship goes through ups and downs.

However, if you’re experiencing a rough patch, it’s crucial to acknowledge it and take action. Ignoring the problem will only make things worse.

Here are some important signs of a relationship breakdown to watch out for –

1. You’re not talking like you used to

Communication is the foundation of any healthy relationship. If you find yourself arguing more often, not listening to each other, or avoiding important conversations, it might be a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

2. You’re not feeling as close as you used to

Maybe you’re not as intimate as you used to be, or maybe you’re just not cuddling and holding hands like you used to. 

If you find yourself not wanting to be physically close to your partner, or if they seem uninterested in being close to you, it might be a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

Related – 18 Relationship Red Flags You Should Never Ignore

3. You’re not sure if you can trust your partner

Trust is essential in any relationship, it can be difficult to repair once it breaks. If you find yourself questioning your partner’s honesty or faithfulness, or if they seem to be hiding things from you, it might be a sign that your relationship is in trouble.

4. You’re noticing changes in your partner’s behavior

Maybe they’re acting more distant or moody, or maybe they’re engaging in risky or dangerous behaviors.  This could include things like withdrawing from social situations, becoming more irritable or moody, or engaging in risky behaviors.

You really need to look after these signs that might lead to a relationship breakdown.

5. You’re feeling lost and alone

It’s common for relationships to experience periods of distance or disconnect. But if this stays for a longer period of time, you or your partner may feel like you’re drifting apart or that you’re not on the same page anymore.

It’s a sign that your relationship is in trouble, and you have to communicate that there’s a problem and take action to address it.

If any of these signs sound familiar to you, it’s important to take action to prevent relationship breakdowns. Feeling disconnected from your partner can be painful, but it’s important to address these feelings before they lead to a full-blown relationship breakdown.

Talk to your partner openly and honestly about how you’re feeling, and try to find ways to work through your issues together.

And if you’re really struggling to cope, don’t be afraid to reach out for professional help. Remember, you’re not alone, and there are people who can help you get through this difficult time.

Related – 6 Early Red Flags Of A Toxic Relationship

Emotional Rollercoaster Phases of Relationship Breakdown

Breaking up is never easy, and the process can leave us feeling lost and overwhelmed. But understanding the stages of a relationship breakdown can help us make sense of our emotions and find a way forward. 

Here are the five stages of relationship breakdown –

1. Denial – Refusing to accept the reality of the situation

The first stage of a relationship breakdown is often characterized by denial. You might not want to believe that your relationship is falling apart or that your partner no longer loves you. 

You might try to convince yourself that things will get better or that you can fix the problems in your relationship. Denial can be a powerful force, but it’s important to recognize the heartbreak if you want to move forward.

2. Anger – Dealing with the pain and frustration 

Once you move past denial, you might start feeling angry. You might be angry at your partner for not treating you well, for not listening to you, or for not trying hard enough to make the relationship work. 

You might feel angry at yourself for not seeing the signs earlier or for not doing more to save the relationship. Anger is a natural emotion, but it’s important to find healthy ways to express it and to avoid lashing out at our partner or ourselves.

3. Bargaining – Trying to salvage what’s left of the relationship

In this stage, you might start bargaining with your partner in an attempt to save the relationship. You might promise to change your behavior or to do things differently in the hopes that your partner will stay with you. 

You might try to convince your partner to stay, by reminding them of the good times you shared or by pointing out the things that you loved about them.

While bargaining can be a natural response to a relationship breakdown, it’s important to recognize that it might not be enough to save the relationship.

4. Depression – Coping with the pain and loss of Love 

Depression and relationship breakdown often go hand in hand. The pain and loss of love can leave us feeling sad, hopeless, and lost. 

As you realize that your relationship might be over, you might move into a stage of depression. You might feel sad, hopeless, and lost. You might struggle to find joy in the things that used to make you happy, and you might withdraw from your friends and family. 

Depression is a natural response to a relationship breakdown, but it’s important to seek help if you feel like you’re struggling to cope.

5. Acceptance – Embracing the future and finding a way forward

In the final stage of a relationship breakdown, you’ll start accepting that your relationship is over. You’ll likely feel a sense of relief that the uncertainty and anxiety of the previous stages are behind you. 

You might start feeling hopeful about the future and excited about the possibilities that lie ahead. While acceptance can be a difficult stage to reach, it’s an important part of the healing process.

Ducks model of relationship breakdown

Understanding the DUCKS model can also help you recognize the warning signs of relationship breakdown and take action before it’s too late.

Let’s understand the phases of relationship breakdown through the DUCKS model –

Stage 1: Intrapsychic

The first stage is intrapsychic, where one partner starts to experience negative feelings and dissatisfaction within the relationship.

Stage 2: Dyadic

The second stage is dyadic, where the partner starts to express their concerns and frustrations to their significant other. This can lead to arguments, defensiveness, and attempts to repair the relationship.

Stage 3: Social

The third stage is social, where the issues between the couple become more public and start affecting their social circle.

Stage 4: Grave-dressing

The fourth stage is grave-dressing, where the couple starts to prepare for the end of the relationship. This can include telling their own version of events to others, deciding how to divide assets, and planning for life after the breakup.

Stage 5: Resurrection

The final stage is resurrection, where the couple tries to move on from the relationship and establish a new sense of identity and purpose.

How to cope with a relationship breakdown

Dealing with relationship breakdowns is an incredibly challenging time that can make you feel lost, confused, and overwhelmed. 

However, with the right support and mindset, you can navigate this difficult period and emerge stronger and more resilient than ever before. 

Here are some key pieces of advice to keep in mind when going through a relationship breakdown –

1. Seek support

During a relationship breakdown, it’s important to have a strong support system in place to help you navigate your emotions and provide a listening ear. This can include friends, family members, or a therapist or counselor. 

Talking to someone who understands what you’re going through can help you process your emotions and feel less alone.

2. Practice self-care and self-compassion

It’s easy to neglect your own needs during a relationship breakdown, but taking care of yourself is crucial to helping you heal and move forward. 

This can include simple acts of self-care like taking a relaxing bath or going for a walk, as well as more structured activities like yoga or meditation. It’s also important to practice self-compassion and be kind to yourself during this difficult time.

3. Avoid blaming yourself or your partner

It’s common to feel like you or your partner are to blame for the breakdown of the relationship. However, it’s important to remember that relationships are complex and rarely the result of one person’s actions. 

Blaming yourself or your partner will only lead to further hurt and resentment, so try to avoid this line of thinking.

4. Take time to process your emotions

During a relationship breakdown, it can be tempting to make impulsive decisions in an attempt to regain control. 

However, it’s important to take the time you need to process your emotions before making any major decisions. This can include decisions about your living situation, finances, or even whether or not to remain in contact with your ex-partner.

5. Consider seeking legal advice, if necessary

If you’re going through a relationship breakdown, you may need to seek legal advice to help you navigate the legal and financial aspects of the breakup. 

This can include issues like property division, child custody, and spousal support. A skilled lawyer can provide guidance and support as you work through these complex issues.

Remember, going through a relationship breakdown is never easy, but with the right support and mindset, you can come out the other side stronger and more resilient than ever. 

Related – Your Body During A Breakup: 10 Scientific Effects Heartbreak Has On The Body

Takeaway

While a relationship breakdown can be a challenging and painful experience, it can also be an opportunity for growth and self-discovery. By practicing self-care, seeking support, and taking time to process your emotions, you can move forward with clarity and confidence. 

Remember to be kind to yourself and take things one step at a time. With time, healing and a sense of renewed hope for the future is possible.