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Why Nice Guys Aren’t Good Men

It’s very natural to think that nice guys and good men are the same, but the actual truth is that nice guys aren’t always good men. There are a host of differences which prove the fact that nice guys aren’t good men, and even though that might difficult to believe, it’s true. Everyone tends to think they are the same, but no, they are not.

“Just because you are a nice guy, doesn’t mean you are a good man.” ― Zyanya Torres.

Yes, you might start scratching your beard and wonder, what’s the point in this question and if you are doing this right now, then this article is for you. Strange as it might sound, there are differences between a nice guy and a good man, and nice guys aren’t necessarily always good men.

Here Are 16 Reasons Why Nice Guys Aren’t Good Men

1. Selfish vs selfless.

A nice guy will do nice things and expect the same in return. He will be there to take his lady out on a lavish date and then he will expect her to do something for him, as a form of repayment.

For a good man, this goodness comes from within. He is good by nature. He doesn’t expect people to behave like him. If someone is good to him, that’s more than fine.

2. Public image vs inherent character.

For a nice guy, public image is of extreme importance. Whatever he does, contributes to the enhancing of his image. He needs to be loved and admired by everyone.

But a good man is only conscious of his character. As long as people appreciate his character, he is at peace. He does not put too much thought into how people are perceiving him, and he never forces himself to be in the good books of others. He has enough confidence in himself and his character.

Related: Nice Guys Finish Last because they are Manipulative Liars

3. Unhealthy boundaries vs healthy boundaries.

The boundary of a nice guy is fluid; he molds it as per his needs. If he needs something from someone, he will forget what boundaries are, and will solely focus on his personal needs.

The good man knows his boundaries well, and he knows what his limits are. This is one of the biggest reasons why people respect him a lot, and always look up to him. Knowing your limits, and not taking anyone for granted is something that makes them who they are.

4. Needy love vs true love.

A nice guy will flatter his lady love and say all the right things to make sure that she always trusts him, and will make her feel that she is the apple of his eye and the center of his universe.

But a good man understands the value of true love and knows that being in a romantic relationship with someone doesn’t mean discarding other people and work. He will love her and give her the respect and attention she deserves, without pressuring her to make him her everything.

5. Fear of rejection vs accepts rejection.

Rejection freaks out a nice guy, and that is why he always looks for validation from others. Most of the time he suffers from low-confidence and self-esteem issues, and unless someone tells him that he is good enough, he doesn’t feel better.

The good man, on the other hand, knows his worth, and never relies on anyone else for validation. He sees acceptance and rejection in the same light and understands that if you want to grow in life, you need to take both in stride.

6. Secretive vs Transparent.

A nice guy needs a shroud to hide his intentions, and he is extremely secretive about how he actually is, and what his thoughts are. Seldom does he behave in a transparent manner.

The good man is transparent, and his aims and motifs are clear to all and to him. He never feels the need to hide his true intentions, as he is always comfortable with who he is, and how he is.

7. Blames others vs being accountable.

For a nice guy, there’s always a person or an incident to be blamed for all the negativities in his life. He never takes the responsibility for the things that have happened to him, and always blames other people for his misfortune.

A good man will never put the blame on others. He will not only take responsibility for his own actions but also be responsible for others. He is strong and confident enough to accept the bad things that have happened and move on from them.

Related: Why Women Don’t Want a “Nice Guy”?

8. Sugarcoating vs telling the real truth.

A nice guy will only say things people want to hear and pacify them. Even if they want to tell you the real truth, they will choose not to, because they want to remain in your good books.

A good man will say whatever the other person should hear. He will never run from the truth just to stay in someone’s good books, and will always say what needs to be said.

9. Unapologetic vs not scared of apologizing.

Apologizing and forgiving is not something a nice guy will ever do because of his hidden ego. Even the slightest thing will end up hurting him, and his ego is so big, that he has a hard time apologizing for his mistakes, and forgiving others for being imperfect.

A good man will do both, as he strongly believes in the virtues of apologizing and forgiving. He knows that it takes a strong person to do both, and that is what he exactly is.

10. Flamboyant vs strong character.

A nice guy is always full of flamboyance, and his appearance and etiquettes matter to him most. As long as he is looking good from the outside, and is the best-dressed and best-looking man wherever he goes, he is fine. He doesn’t think about anything else.

The good man is only cautious of his character, and his mind. He knows that looks will fade with age and time, but good character and a strong personality will stay forever.

11. Choosing shortcuts vs working hard.

Shortcuts are the nice guy’s best friend. He will always choose this option and avoid struggles, to get to where he wants to be. He always has a difficult time working hard, and trying to fulfill his dreams.

The good man is willing to go through any hardship because he understands the importance of hard work., and struggle. He believes that suffering and hardships build a strong character, and he never gets scared of experiencing that.

Related: 11 Signs The Nice Guy You Are Dating Is A F*ckboy in Disguise

12. Untrue promises vs real promises.

A nice guy will act like Prince Charming for his lady love, promising her fairy tales which he has no idea of fulfilling. He will make her lots of promises just for the sake of making her happy temporarily, but will never fulfill them in the future.

The good man knows his limitations and will only promise things which he can fulfill. Fake promises are not for him, as he believes lying and giving false hopes end up hurting someone more than anything. He will always be honest no matter what.

13. Scared of honesty vs embracing honesty.

A nice guy will not do anything to hurt his ladylove. Yes, it might sound really good but sometimes we all need someone to tell us our flaws so that we can be better people, but he will always be superficial about most things, due to his apprehension of not being in someone’s good books.

A good man understands this and will be open about it. If he feels uncomfortable about something his partner is doing, he will directly say it, but in a sensitive manner. This way, the problem will be addressed without hurting anyone’s feelings.

14. Fake supportive vs genuinely supportive.

A nice guy will behave like a prince who will be there for his damsel in distress but when he is actually needed, he will run away. All the promises that he had once made to his partner will disappear, and he will be found nowhere.

The good man doesn’t consider his lady love as a damsel in distress, he will always be there when she needs him. No matter what happens, he will try to support his partner whenever she is in a difficult predicament, and try his best to make things better for her.

15. Mingles with people for a reason vs genuinely mingles with people.

For a nice guy, a person exists as long as they can embellish his image and benefit him. Most of the time, he will mingle with people who will satisfy his ego, and appeal to his insecurities; genuine connections are not really a part of his life.

A good man treats everyone with love and respect even if they can’t contribute to his development. He does not believe in mixing with people just for personal gains and genuinely looks for strong connections to make.

Related: The Nice ‘F*ckboy’ You Should Stay Away From

16. Lack of leadership qualities vs a strong leader.

Leadership is a quality a nice guy lacks as he is always drawn towards others’ views about him. He cares too much about what others think of him, and that is why he has a hard time being a leader and making people listen to what he has to say.

No matter what, the good man will retain control of his life, as he knows that he is the creator of his own fate. His inherent confidence naturally makes people look up to him, and listen to what he has to say. His leadership qualities are nothing short of effortless.

So, these are all the reasons why nice guys aren’t good men, and what actually sets them apart from each other.

Are you a good man reading this? Then, thank you because this world needs men like you. And if you have a good man in your life, don’t let him go. They are very rare to find but easy to keep.


Why Nice Guys Aren’t Good Men
Nice Guys Aren’t Good Men
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Emilia Gordon

Born and brought up in Kansas, Emilia is a writer and a social activist.She enjoys travelling and meeting new peopleView Author posts

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