10 Signs You Have A Toxic Mother-In-Law and How To Deal

Signs Toxic MotherInLaw How To Deal

You could have the cleanest house in the world but she’ll find some non-existent speck of dust to point at and complain about how filthy your home is. She will complain about every little thing, and will not stop until you feel absolutely defeated and heartbroken. Also, she’ll claim that she loves her grandchildren but she’ll spend a lot of time pointing out their faults to you and criticizing your parenting skills.

7. She will emotionally abuse you.

Her toxic nature and myopic mindset will make her treat you horribly, whenever you will refuse to dance to her tunes. She will subject you to the silent treatment, indirect insults, blaming, shaming, and open intimidation to dominate you, and do her bidding. No matter what happens, she will always expect you to do what she solely wants you to.

In case your husband doesn’t do the same, she will treat him horribly too. In order to make it all the more painful and emotionally traumatizing, she will shower all her love on her other grandchildren, and other daughters-in-law, and sons.

Related: How Healthy Boundaries With Your In-laws Will Make Your Marriage Stronger

8. She will pretend to be the nicest person in front of the world.

Her social standing is of utmost importance to her and she’ll do everything she can to ensure that she doesn’t lose it. In front of everyone else, she’ll be full of charm and she’ll portray herself as a loving mother to her children. She will portray herself as a charitable, selfless, and caring woman, who will do anything for her family and their happiness.

Others will find it difficult to believe that anybody including you can have problems with her; she is that good of an actress. They will find it almost impossible to believe that an ‘angelic’ woman like her can hurt and humiliate you like that.

9. She is exceptionally narcissistic.

Like a true blue narcissist, she always tries to control what others are doing, so that nothing they do can ever have a negative impression on her. She will expect everyone, including you to abide by her rules and conditions, and will hate it if you decide to go on a different path other than the one she has chosen.

Whenever she feels that she is losing control, she will engage in smear tactics, and wil try her level best to turn everyone she knows against you. She will spew lies about you, just so people hate you and stay away from you. She will also go to great lengths to even turn her son, and your husband against you by saying horrible things to him about you.

10. She will pretend to care about you.

There will be days when she will be really nice to you (maybe because you have done something that she wanted you to do), and make you feel like a part of the family. She might get you something nice, or take your side in some matter, and you will feel that finally you are going to have a healthy relationship with her. But, hold on.

In such situations, no matter what happens, never let your guard down; she is just fattening you up for slaughter. The moment she will see that you are being vulnerable and open, she will strike you where it hurts the most. The harsh and sad truth is that, she will never consider you a part of the family, and will always be up to something or the other to make you feel unwanted, and harassed.

Related: 15 Things Manipulative People Do to Try to Control You

Here Are 8 Tips For Dealing With A Toxic Mother-In-Law

1. Think about why she treats you horribly.

Even if you understand why she treats you the way she does, her behavior will not change. But once you have an idea why she is being horrible to you, you will be able to tackle her better. Knowing how her mind works, will help you deal with her taunts, and insults in a more effective manner.

And the more you understand her, the better you will be able to predict her moves. You might never be able to change her as a person, but what you can do is know how to navigate through her mind games, and politics.

2. Try to practice detachment as much as you can.

Again, you might not be able to change her toxic ways, but what you can do is detach and distance yourself from her toxicity. The more you react to a narcissist like her, the more it will affect you. How she treats you has little to do with you, and everything to do with her. Keep that in mind, and never let her destroy your peace.

The moment you feel an attack coming, steel yourself, and remove yourself from the situation. Don’t engage, don’t react, and most importantly, don’t get into the mud pit with her, because that is exactly what she wants.

Related: 5 Rules For Living With Your In-Laws (and Making It Work)

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2 thoughts on “10 Signs You Have A Toxic Mother-In-Law and How To Deal”

  1. Thank you for sharing. A lot of what you put here has hit me. Everything you said has opened my eyes and I hopefully can stay calm and follow your wonderful direction.

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