18 Reasons Why Social Media Contributes to Self-Hate

Did you know that social media causes self hate? We post all our lives on it but it secretly is bad for our mental and emotional health. Letโ€™s learn how and why.

Social media is constructed in such a way that you canโ€™t help but compare yourself with what you see online, leading to self-esteem issues. Letโ€™s find out the reasons why social media makes us hate ourselves.

KEY POINTS:

As more realms of human interaction are shaped by and start to resemble social media, its popularity-based protocols punish the vulnerable.
In a system where status derives from numbers-based popularity, it's all too easy to feel unliked and unseen.
Monitoring our social-media notifications is often painful, yet we invite this pain repeatedly each day.

Social media is designed to make us hate ourselves.

Itโ€™s engineered to scare and shame us โ€” mainly by being a nonstop global gauge broadcasting our aloneness and unpopularity for all to see. Even its benefits โ€” so far-reaching! so fast! โ€” fuel its capacity for harm. Now shaping nearly every realm of human interaction, social media fuels our insecurities in these and other ways.

Related: Social Media Red Flags In Relationships

18 Reasons Why Social Media Causes Self Hate

1. It is a contest.

Between us and everyone, sparking our urge to view fellow humans as competitors and every word/act/interchange as an audition or race we might lose.

2. Itโ€™s science, so it must be true.

Pre-social media, we wondered vaguely how our hair looked or our presentations went. Now those answers are calculated technologically as numbers glaring out from screens.

social media causes self hate

3. The lives of others seem so sexy, fun, and lush.

Compared to ours as we naively observe manufactured simulacra of such lives, mistaking them for true.

4. Our skills seem worthless.

Lacking skills such as sociability, makeup, or art which make others โ€œgood atโ€ and/or are easily displayed on social media makes us deride whatever skills we have instead. Youโ€™re a statistician or master pipefitter? So what?!

Related: Negative Effects Of Instagram On Mental Health: 7 Ways Instagram Ruins Lives

5. Weโ€™re being watched and judged.

Humans have always (sensibly) feared being monitored and scanned. But social media exhorts us to expose ourselves and love being surveilled.

6. On virtual stages, we pose.

Performativity turns every word we type and every picture we post into a recital, everyplace we are into a stage โ€” and thus every reality less real.

7. The more our sense of self depends on others, the less โ€œoursโ€ it is.

Following influencers, fawning and urgently seeking applause divides us from our inner selves.

social media causes self hate

8. Cheating and deception are normalized.

When platforms offer beauty filters with which users โ€” including 90% of women, one study reveals โ€” โ€œimproveโ€ their looks, then declare: This is me.

9. We feel so ugly.

When comparing our unfiltered looks to those of users whom we donโ€™t realize use filters โ€” and when we feel forced to filter our own โ€œunpresentableโ€ selves.

Related: 8 Signs You Need To Stay Away From Social Media

10. All boundaries are broken.

Aspects of us that once would have stayed private, social media compels us to reveal โ€” because itโ€™s edgy, might attract emojis, and weโ€™re among โ€œfriends.โ€

11. It makes us do things that make us dislike ourselves.

Such as boast, lying, argue, and self-obsess, as well as mocking others for their looks, views, or intelligence โ€” even just secretly.

12. We constantly fear punishment.

For those of us who live in (mainly traumagenic) fear of making others sad or mad, social media is a terrifying gauntlet, a spotlit interrogation room.

13. Chronic attention-seeking redefines the meaning of attention.

Even cruel comments prove that we merit discussion, even passion, which makes some of us start craving and provoking more.

14. This is a bulliesโ€™ playground.

Anyone out there can employ social media to scare us, scorn us, stoke our insecurities, and slash our trust โ€” in humankind, ourselves, and truth.

Related: The 3 Negative Effects Of Social Media On Our Life

15. Does no one care what I like, make or do?

Pouring time, talent, energy, and creativity into content that gains scant or no response can make us feel invisible, ignored, absurd, or ashamed.

social media causes self hate

16. Self-confidence and self-compassion seem ridiculous.

Compared to the opinions of three million strangers half a world away.

17. We hate ourselves for hating social media.

We hoped to have fun, find friends, share stories, gain fanbases, and further our careers. Who but a loser could dislike something so popular?

Related: 8 Signs You Have An Unhealthy Attachment To Social Media

18. We suffer, but canโ€™t quit.

Fearing that departing social media would cut us off from family, friends, society, and reality โ€” and define us as failures or non-persons or freaks.

Not everyone experiences all of these crises which are intrinsic to social mediaโ€”a rapid mathematics of technology and personality, secrets and lies, surveillance and desireโ€”and not everyone gets hurt, but for the vulnerable and the permeable, itโ€™s not a safe place.

Want to know more about how social media causes self hate? Check this video out below about social media insecurity!

Check out S. Rufusโ€™s personal website to know more about her and her work.


Written By S.Rufus
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
Why Social Media Makes Us Hate Ourselves pin
social media causes self hate

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Doechii’s “Anxiety” Is An Anthem For Our Emotional State

Doechii's Anxiety: 4 Important Lessons About Mental Heath

Looking for a way to talk to your child about anxiety? Doechii’s Anxiety offers a powerful, relatable way to start that conversation together!

Personal Perspective: Doechiiโ€™s re-recording captures the emotions of our times.

Key points

Doechii’s Anxiety nails both the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety.

The song guides us to notice anxious thoughts as “passing through.”

Multiple coping options exist: observe thoughts, avoid judgment, calm body, connect with others.

Families can use the song to talk about anxiety and healthy cop

Up Next

Are You Suffering From Purpose Anxiety? 5 Signs To Watch For

Suffering From Purpose Anxiety? Alarming Signs To Watch

Feeling pressured to have everything figured out, can lead to feelings of inadequacy or restlessness. Below are five signs of purpose anxiety that often arises when you feel like youโ€™re not on โ€œrightโ€ path in life!

How the search for purpose can cause stressโ€”and what to do about it.

Key points

Purpose anxiety fuels job-hopping, imposter syndrome, and constant comparison, leaving us unfulfilled.

Up Next

14 Easy Self-Care Habits That Will Help You Feel Less Anxious Every Day

Simple Self-Care Habits That'll Work Wonders for Your Anxiety

Self-care habits can feel like a luxury when you’re overwhelmed with anxiety. When your mind is racing and your heart feels heavy, the idea of adding “one more thing” to your day may seem impossible. I get itโ€”when you’re anxious, even simple tasks can feel exhausting. But, in reality, small, easy self-care habits can make a huge difference.

I wasn’t always a believer. For the longest time, I thought squeezing in a few extra minutes of sleep was the best thing I could do for myself. And while rest is important, I realized that how I start my day affects everything else. The days I take a little time to care for myself, I feel more grounded, calm, and capable. The days I don’t? My anxiety feels louder and harder to manage.

In this article, you’ll find simple self-care habits that are easy to do and genuinely work.

Up Next

Why Everyone on TikTok Is Lying on the Floorโ€”And You Should Too!

The โ€˜Floor Timeโ€™ Trend Is Taking Over TikTokโ€”Hereโ€™s Why You Need to Try It!

I never thought I’d willingly spend time lying on the floor. Itโ€™s never been my go-to spot for relaxationโ€”too hard, too cold, too uncomfortable. But lately, TikTok has been buzzing about floor time, a simple wellness trend thatโ€™s got people ditching their couches in favor of sprawling out on the ground.

The idea is exactly what it sounds like: you lie down on the floor and just be. Videos under the #floortime hashtag have racked up millions of views, with people claiming it helps them feel more grounded and calm.

At first, it might seem strange. Why choose the floor when you have a perfectly good bed? But you might change your mind after reading the benefits the new TikTok trend has to offer.

A Brief History of Flo

Up Next

Why ‘Lizard Brain’ Deepens Anxiety And Depression: Understanding Social Cognitive Network

Social Cognitive Network: Linking Anxiety to the 'Lizard Brain'

The social cognitive network is your brainโ€™s secret weapon for understanding people and emotions. But when it teams up with the amygdalaโ€”our ancient “fight-or-flight” alarmโ€”it can shape how we handle social cues, sometimes making things trickier.

KEY POINTS

The brain’s social cognitive network keeps constant communication with the amygdala, an ancient structure.

This shows that the amygdala influences the social cognitive network by providing emotional information.

This research has potential implications for treating psychiatric conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Up Next

30 Journal Prompts for Anxiety When Youโ€™re Feeling Suffocated by Family Tension

When family tension feels overwhelming, turning to a few journal prompts for anxiety can be a comforting and grounding practice. These 30 prompts can help you navigate and soothe those anxious moments.

If you are reading this, you know EXACTLY what it feels like when family tension starts to weigh down on you. Itโ€™s like you are carrying a backpack filled with rocks, and every passive-aggressive comment or disagreement feels like you are adding another rock to the already heavy weight you are carrying.

The constant pressure of navigating these tense situations can leave you feeling anxious, on edge, and unsure of how to cope. Trust me, I have been there more times than I can count. But fear not, because there is a simple tool that can help lighten that load: Journaling.

Up Next

5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety: A Great Method to Calm Your Anxiety

If you are looking for a simple but effective coping technique for anxiety, look no further: the 54321 anxiety technique is your answer!

This technique is one of the easiest relaxation methods you can learn. So, whether youโ€™re feeling overwhelmed or facing a stressful situation it will help you stay grounded in the present moment by using your senses.

Whether youโ€™re dealing with occasional anxiety or looking for new tools to add to your mental health toolkit, this technique can be a valuable resource. In this blog, we will explore how the 54321 anxiety technique works and guide you through implementing it in your daily life. 

Understanding Anxiety and Its Unavoidable Effects

Today’s Horoscope

  • Daily Horoscope 24 May 2025: Prediction For Each Zodiac Sign

    Daily Horoscope 24 May 2025: Prediction For Each Zodiac Sign

    ๐ŸŒŸ Ready to unlock the secrets of 24 May, 2025? Discover your personalized horoscope and see what the stars have in store for you today! โœจ๐Ÿ”ฎ

    /

Latest Quizzes

Latest Quotes

  • Weekly Horoscope 26 May To 1 June

    Weekly Horoscope 26 May To 1 June

    Weekly Horoscope 26 May To 1 June Aries (March 21 โ€“ April 19) Your mind is buzzing with fresh ideas. Use this surge to speak your truth or start a new learning venture. If you ground your dreams with discipline, lasting impact is possible. Taurus (April 20 โ€“ May 20) New financial plans or communication…

    /

  • Single… – Funny Quotes

    Single… – Funny Quotes

    What’s your relationship status like?

    /

Readers Blog

  • Divorce Detox – Offense Defense

    Divorce Detox – Offense Defense

    Divorce can be a tough life event. For some, divorce can be wonderful. Regardless of your perspective, there is one key concept that takes place in every divorce. That is, are you on the offensive or defensive? You may be asking yourself โ€“ What is he talking about? This isnโ€™t a sporting event with an…

    /

18 Reasons Why Social Media Contributes to Self-Hate

Written By:

Did you know that social media causes self hate? We post all our lives on it but it secretly is bad for our mental and emotional health. Letโ€™s learn how and why.

Social media is constructed in such a way that you canโ€™t help but compare yourself with what you see online, leading to self-esteem issues. Letโ€™s find out the reasons why social media makes us hate ourselves.

KEY POINTS:

As more realms of human interaction are shaped by and start to resemble social media, its popularity-based protocols punish the vulnerable.
In a system where status derives from numbers-based popularity, it's all too easy to feel unliked and unseen.
Monitoring our social-media notifications is often painful, yet we invite this pain repeatedly each day.

Social media is designed to make us hate ourselves.

Itโ€™s engineered to scare and shame us โ€” mainly by being a nonstop global gauge broadcasting our aloneness and unpopularity for all to see. Even its benefits โ€” so far-reaching! so fast! โ€” fuel its capacity for harm. Now shaping nearly every realm of human interaction, social media fuels our insecurities in these and other ways.

Related: Social Media Red Flags In Relationships

18 Reasons Why Social Media Causes Self Hate

1. It is a contest.

Between us and everyone, sparking our urge to view fellow humans as competitors and every word/act/interchange as an audition or race we might lose.

2. Itโ€™s science, so it must be true.

Pre-social media, we wondered vaguely how our hair looked or our presentations went. Now those answers are calculated technologically as numbers glaring out from screens.

social media causes self hate

3. The lives of others seem so sexy, fun, and lush.

Compared to ours as we naively observe manufactured simulacra of such lives, mistaking them for true.

4. Our skills seem worthless.

Lacking skills such as sociability, makeup, or art which make others โ€œgood atโ€ and/or are easily displayed on social media makes us deride whatever skills we have instead. Youโ€™re a statistician or master pipefitter? So what?!

Related: Negative Effects Of Instagram On Mental Health: 7 Ways Instagram Ruins Lives

5. Weโ€™re being watched and judged.

Humans have always (sensibly) feared being monitored and scanned. But social media exhorts us to expose ourselves and love being surveilled.

6. On virtual stages, we pose.

Performativity turns every word we type and every picture we post into a recital, everyplace we are into a stage โ€” and thus every reality less real.

7. The more our sense of self depends on others, the less โ€œoursโ€ it is.

Following influencers, fawning and urgently seeking applause divides us from our inner selves.

social media causes self hate

8. Cheating and deception are normalized.

When platforms offer beauty filters with which users โ€” including 90% of women, one study reveals โ€” โ€œimproveโ€ their looks, then declare: This is me.

9. We feel so ugly.

When comparing our unfiltered looks to those of users whom we donโ€™t realize use filters โ€” and when we feel forced to filter our own โ€œunpresentableโ€ selves.

Related: 8 Signs You Need To Stay Away From Social Media

10. All boundaries are broken.

Aspects of us that once would have stayed private, social media compels us to reveal โ€” because itโ€™s edgy, might attract emojis, and weโ€™re among โ€œfriends.โ€

11. It makes us do things that make us dislike ourselves.

Such as boast, lying, argue, and self-obsess, as well as mocking others for their looks, views, or intelligence โ€” even just secretly.

12. We constantly fear punishment.

For those of us who live in (mainly traumagenic) fear of making others sad or mad, social media is a terrifying gauntlet, a spotlit interrogation room.

13. Chronic attention-seeking redefines the meaning of attention.

Even cruel comments prove that we merit discussion, even passion, which makes some of us start craving and provoking more.

14. This is a bulliesโ€™ playground.

Anyone out there can employ social media to scare us, scorn us, stoke our insecurities, and slash our trust โ€” in humankind, ourselves, and truth.

Related: The 3 Negative Effects Of Social Media On Our Life

15. Does no one care what I like, make or do?

Pouring time, talent, energy, and creativity into content that gains scant or no response can make us feel invisible, ignored, absurd, or ashamed.

social media causes self hate

16. Self-confidence and self-compassion seem ridiculous.

Compared to the opinions of three million strangers half a world away.

17. We hate ourselves for hating social media.

We hoped to have fun, find friends, share stories, gain fanbases, and further our careers. Who but a loser could dislike something so popular?

Related: 8 Signs You Have An Unhealthy Attachment To Social Media

18. We suffer, but canโ€™t quit.

Fearing that departing social media would cut us off from family, friends, society, and reality โ€” and define us as failures or non-persons or freaks.

Not everyone experiences all of these crises which are intrinsic to social mediaโ€”a rapid mathematics of technology and personality, secrets and lies, surveillance and desireโ€”and not everyone gets hurt, but for the vulnerable and the permeable, itโ€™s not a safe place.

Want to know more about how social media causes self hate? Check this video out below about social media insecurity!

Check out S. Rufusโ€™s personal website to know more about her and her work.


Written By S.Rufus
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
Why Social Media Makes Us Hate Ourselves pin
social media causes self hate

Published On:

Last updated on:

, ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

Doechii’s “Anxiety” Is An Anthem For Our Emotional State

Doechii's Anxiety: 4 Important Lessons About Mental Heath

Looking for a way to talk to your child about anxiety? Doechii’s Anxiety offers a powerful, relatable way to start that conversation together!

Personal Perspective: Doechiiโ€™s re-recording captures the emotions of our times.

Key points

Doechii’s Anxiety nails both the physical and mental symptoms of anxiety.

The song guides us to notice anxious thoughts as “passing through.”

Multiple coping options exist: observe thoughts, avoid judgment, calm body, connect with others.

Families can use the song to talk about anxiety and healthy cop

Up Next

Are You Suffering From Purpose Anxiety? 5 Signs To Watch For

Suffering From Purpose Anxiety? Alarming Signs To Watch

Feeling pressured to have everything figured out, can lead to feelings of inadequacy or restlessness. Below are five signs of purpose anxiety that often arises when you feel like youโ€™re not on โ€œrightโ€ path in life!

How the search for purpose can cause stressโ€”and what to do about it.

Key points

Purpose anxiety fuels job-hopping, imposter syndrome, and constant comparison, leaving us unfulfilled.

Up Next

14 Easy Self-Care Habits That Will Help You Feel Less Anxious Every Day

Simple Self-Care Habits That'll Work Wonders for Your Anxiety

Self-care habits can feel like a luxury when you’re overwhelmed with anxiety. When your mind is racing and your heart feels heavy, the idea of adding “one more thing” to your day may seem impossible. I get itโ€”when you’re anxious, even simple tasks can feel exhausting. But, in reality, small, easy self-care habits can make a huge difference.

I wasn’t always a believer. For the longest time, I thought squeezing in a few extra minutes of sleep was the best thing I could do for myself. And while rest is important, I realized that how I start my day affects everything else. The days I take a little time to care for myself, I feel more grounded, calm, and capable. The days I don’t? My anxiety feels louder and harder to manage.

In this article, you’ll find simple self-care habits that are easy to do and genuinely work.

Up Next

Why Everyone on TikTok Is Lying on the Floorโ€”And You Should Too!

The โ€˜Floor Timeโ€™ Trend Is Taking Over TikTokโ€”Hereโ€™s Why You Need to Try It!

I never thought I’d willingly spend time lying on the floor. Itโ€™s never been my go-to spot for relaxationโ€”too hard, too cold, too uncomfortable. But lately, TikTok has been buzzing about floor time, a simple wellness trend thatโ€™s got people ditching their couches in favor of sprawling out on the ground.

The idea is exactly what it sounds like: you lie down on the floor and just be. Videos under the #floortime hashtag have racked up millions of views, with people claiming it helps them feel more grounded and calm.

At first, it might seem strange. Why choose the floor when you have a perfectly good bed? But you might change your mind after reading the benefits the new TikTok trend has to offer.

A Brief History of Flo

Up Next

Why ‘Lizard Brain’ Deepens Anxiety And Depression: Understanding Social Cognitive Network

Social Cognitive Network: Linking Anxiety to the 'Lizard Brain'

The social cognitive network is your brainโ€™s secret weapon for understanding people and emotions. But when it teams up with the amygdalaโ€”our ancient “fight-or-flight” alarmโ€”it can shape how we handle social cues, sometimes making things trickier.

KEY POINTS

The brain’s social cognitive network keeps constant communication with the amygdala, an ancient structure.

This shows that the amygdala influences the social cognitive network by providing emotional information.

This research has potential implications for treating psychiatric conditions such as anxiety and depression.

Up Next

30 Journal Prompts for Anxiety When Youโ€™re Feeling Suffocated by Family Tension

When family tension feels overwhelming, turning to a few journal prompts for anxiety can be a comforting and grounding practice. These 30 prompts can help you navigate and soothe those anxious moments.

If you are reading this, you know EXACTLY what it feels like when family tension starts to weigh down on you. Itโ€™s like you are carrying a backpack filled with rocks, and every passive-aggressive comment or disagreement feels like you are adding another rock to the already heavy weight you are carrying.

The constant pressure of navigating these tense situations can leave you feeling anxious, on edge, and unsure of how to cope. Trust me, I have been there more times than I can count. But fear not, because there is a simple tool that can help lighten that load: Journaling.

Up Next

5-4-3-2-1 Coping Technique for Anxiety: A Great Method to Calm Your Anxiety

If you are looking for a simple but effective coping technique for anxiety, look no further: the 54321 anxiety technique is your answer!

This technique is one of the easiest relaxation methods you can learn. So, whether youโ€™re feeling overwhelmed or facing a stressful situation it will help you stay grounded in the present moment by using your senses.

Whether youโ€™re dealing with occasional anxiety or looking for new tools to add to your mental health toolkit, this technique can be a valuable resource. In this blog, we will explore how the 54321 anxiety technique works and guide you through implementing it in your daily life. 

Understanding Anxiety and Its Unavoidable Effects