The Silent Manipulator: 7 Signs Of A Vulnerable Narcissist

Have you ever thought that there might be a narcissist in your life who doesn’t seek attention or show off? Identifying a vulnerable narcissist is tough, they do not seem like the grandiose ones because they are usually quiet and sensitive. But, don’t let their outer shell deceive you – they have all the same core traits of a flamboyant narcissist underneath.

This post will look at some vulnerable narcissist traits that can help you recognize whether you’re dealing with this different kind of self-centeredness.

Grandiose Vs Vulnerable Narcissist

Before looking at the signs of a vulnerable narcissist, it is important to comprehend what distinguishes between grandiose vs vulnerable narcissists.

Grandiose narcissists are generally extroverted, they are assertive, often demand admiration and attention from others and they think highly of themselves with a sense of entitlement towards special treatment. 

While vulnerable narcissism is not attention-seeking as their counterparts do, they are usually introverted as well as sensitive – deep down in them lies insecurity which shows through a need for validation combined with a self-pitying stance when they feel victimized.

Read more here: What Netflix’s ‘Baby Reindeer’ Teaches About Dealing With Online Stalkers

Signs Of A Vulnerable Narcissist

1. They Have an Unclear Sense of Self

One of the signs of a vulnerable narcissist is that they have a weak sense of identity. They may fail to comprehend themselves or their desires in life, often seeking validation from others to define their self-worth. 

Such individuals may change their minds or adapt behavior with different people attempting to fit in or win approval.

2. They Project Blame Onto Others

Vulnerable narcissist traits make them frequently project failures and inadequacies on others as a way of shielding their delicate egos.

Instead of admitting personal wrongs when things go wrong –– they will point fingers at friends, colleagues, or even external situations.

For example, if such a person misses a deadline, they may accuse co-workers of being uncooperative or disorganized rather than acknowledging time management issues.

3. They Exhibit Mood Swings

Another sign of vulnerable narcissism is their emotional instability. These individuals might undergo dramatic shifts in mood where they get overly happy and then become too sad within short periods without any apparent cause for these swings. 

Such ups and downs usually emanate from a consistent need for affirmation together with being easily hurt by what they perceive as disregard or criticism towards them when in reality it isn’t so.

E.g., For one moment they feel elated because praised but the next minute feels very low because no attention was given.

4. They Possess A Sense of Entitlement, But In A Subtle Manner

Vulnerable narcissists may exhibit their entitlement in more subtle ways than grandiose narcissists do. When they fail to receive the attention or support that they think should be given to them, these people might expect other individuals to meet their needs or become overly touchy. 

In other words, instead of making direct requests for what they need when their requirements are not met, vulnerable narcissists can sulk about it or become passive-aggressive.

5. Criticism Affects Them Greatly

Criticism and rejection are two things vulnerable narcissists cannot handle easily because they are highly sensitive towards these issues; thus any negative comment directed at them would be taken personally. 

This heightened sensitivity comes from having deep-seated insecurities as well as low self-esteem which is why even slight criticisms may trigger defensive reactions or emotional outbursts on their part.

For example, if somebody criticizes their work they might respond by being very defensive or withdrawing emotionally feeling attacked.

6. They Need Continuous Reassurance

To feel safe inside themselves an individual who is a vulnerable narcissist usually demands continuous reassurance from other people around them, hence without regular validation coming from friends, family, or colleagues’ way to boost up their image they can’t be able to develop any sense of self-worth within themselves. 

Therefore someone like this may fish for compliments many times over or keep asking whether he/she is doing a good job since it’s only through others’ approval of themselves.

7. They Have Difficulties When Intimacy Arise

Developing close relationships based on honesty becomes problematic for vulnerable narcissism sufferers due to the emotional demands that come with such friendships or relationships.

When they can’t meet their needs, it creates barriers towards real intimacy and they fear getting too close to someone, as they feel the other person will discover all their weaknesses and later reject them because all along they were pretending to love. 

Due to this, they begin to distance themselves from others immediately. If they feel like sharing everything with someone else they discontinue the relationship as.

Read more here: Can Introverts Be Evil? 8 Signs To Spot One

You can identify vulnerable narcissist traits in your life by understanding these signs. Their behaviors may not be as showy as those of grandiose narcissists, but they can still pose difficulties for you to deal with.

Share your thoughts about these dark personalities in the comments below!