You must have gone through relationship stress before, but have you ever experienced relationship stress during quarantine?
So – you’re in quarantine.
The first thing on your mind probably isn’t your relationship. It’s more likely the pressing issue of your physical health and that of your loved ones.
Or the financial stress brought on by being sent home from work – unsure of when you’ll be able to return.
The pressure to somehow keep your life afloat while the world and everything around you are changing by the minute.
It’s stressful – to say the least. And quite frankly, terrifying.
Once you’ve settled into quarantine and the stressors surrounding your immediate health have been lifted (even if only ever so slightly), other issues can rise to the surface.
Even sexual problems.
Being forced to stay at home in quarantine, be it implicitly or explicitly because of COVID-19, can place extreme pressure on your relationship.
All those things that you’ve been pushing to the side for so long – are suddenly right there, screaming in your face.
You can’t avoid them anymore.
I want you to know you’re not alone and that there are ways of dealing with this, regardless of whether your problem is low libido, a sexless relationship, or just plain irritation.
Problem #1 You get on each other’s nerves
All of a sudden it’s like your partner or spouse is trying to annoy you.
The way they chew their food, their bad choice of Netflix shows, or their constant worrying about the situation is driving you crazy.
The last time you spent this much time with them was probably when you were madly in love, and now you’re finding it hard to remember just why you fell in love with them in the first place.
1. Reminisce about good times together.
By chatting about good memories you’ll be reminding yourselves and each other, why you’re so good together. Talk about when you first met and what drew you to one another. What did the other person do or say that was irresistible? Do you still do those same things? What do you love about your partner?
Experiencing relationship stress due to quarantine? Read 6 Communication Strategies Of Happy Couples in Relationships
2. Do a quick intimacy inventory.
We usually think of intimacy as sexual – but according to researcher Stephen T. Fife, there are in fact 17 types of intimacy, sex being only one of them.
When you’re both driving each other mad, doing an inventory of the kinds of intimacy you share in your relationship or marriage can be a great way of redirecting your attention to the positives (and the things you’d like to work on together!).
If you’re in quarantine for a while (and you may very well be), you’ll have lots of time to work on your relationship.
When you do an intimacy inventory you work together to create the kind of relationship you both want.
First – make a note of which of Fife’s 7 out of 17 types of intimacy you share together. It’s not important you share all of them, but hopefully, you can find one type of intimacy that resonates with your relationship.
You connect by laughing together. You’ve got inside jokes and make each other laugh. You enjoy the fun side of life together.
You share the experience of giving to/assisting others. You get closer to each other when you jointly share the joy that comes from giving to/sharing with other people.
You share the responsibility of bringing up your children; meet their physical, emotional and spiritual needs. This includes you working together when it comes to teaching and upbringing, and that you love and worry about the well-being of your children.
You feel close and care for each other as friends.
Closeness comes from creating things together. You share intimacy by being creative together.