It is not the critic who counts; not the man who points out how the strong man stumbles, or where the doer of deeds could have done them better. The credit belongs to the man who is actually in the arena, whose face is marred by dust and sweat and blood; who strives valiantly; who errs, who comes short again and again, because there is no effort without error and shortcoming; but who does actually strive to do the deeds; who knows great enthusiasms, the great devotions; who spends himself in a worthy cause; who at the best knows, in the end, the triumph of high achievement, and who at the worst, if he fails, at least fails while daring greatly, so that his place shall never be with those cold and timid souls who neither know victory nor defeat.
In other words, has your critic earned the right to offer you criticism? Is this someone you admire or even respect?
5. Thank them.
Perhaps it may help to think of your detractors as little helpers or teachers, there to keep your ego in check. The next time you come across one, thank them and say, “I hear you. But I’m good. Thank you for your concern.” Or, to quote one wise teacher of mine, “Kiss them on the lips!” In other words, those who appear to throw us our greatest challenges can, in fact, be our greatest teachers.
6. Accept it.
As sure as there will always be death and taxes, there will always be naysayers in your life. Accepting this as a fact of life is your safest option, as is recognizing that regardless of how much energy you exert in efforts to elicit support from those around you, some are simply incapable of offering that support. Trying to please all people all of the time is a surefire setup for disappointment.
We are all on separate journeys. We just need to stay in our own lanes. Trust in yourself, trust that you are doing the best you can, and never let another’s lack of security steal your own.
Brown, B. (2012). Daring Greatly: How the Courage to Be Vulnerable Transforms the Way We Live, Love, Parent, and Lead. New York, NY: Gotham Books.
Criticism is sometimes good for you, especially if it drives you to be a better version of yourself. But what is not good is criticism that hurts your soul and mental peace; destructive criticism is strictly a no-no. So, the next time someone tries to put you down just for the fun of it, let them know that you won’t take their toxicity anymore.
If you want to know more about how you can protect yourself from destructive criticism, then check this video out below: