It’s time to celebrate the grown-up men who know how to treat a woman.
I love Rhett Butler. No, not Gerard. Rhett. In fact, I feel that every man and woman on the planet should be made to watch Gone With The Wind at least twice if only to teach men how to be men and women how to separate them from the boys.
And if you are dating in the here and now, you know where the boys are: on Tinder, on Match, on the street, making vulgar statements about what they’d like to do with you and where. They’re in your phone texting sexual innuendos before they know your last name and asking to “hang out” because they’re terrified of committing to the idea of a proper date.
Rhett Butler would not do any of this. Rhett was a man in control of himself. He dressed and spoke well, loved better, and had a great sense of humor, sometimes of questionable taste. He was unafraid to speak his mind, stand his ground, fall wildly in love, and show his love (and fight for it, too).
Now, before you remind me that I’m speaking about a fictional character, I’ll let you in on a little secret: I was raised by a man who lived this way and knows a few men who live this way now. And make no mistake: they do wonderfully with women.
As a woman, there’s nothing better than being in the presence of a man who relishes in his masculinity in a way that doesn’t involve the obvious chest-pounding and cat-calling, but the confident reserve of a gentleman.
Before you accuse me of hating men, let me be clear: I love more things about men than I can put into one article. This is not about finding female empowerment though man-bashing. Quite the opposite, actually. It’s a celebration of the grown-up man’s man who knows how to treat a woman.
What does this man look like? Here are 16 signs he’s a gentleman.
1. He’s hygienic, but cleans his nails and trims his nose hairs outside of a nail salon.
Think about it: Would Hemingway or a gladiator be getting his nails buffed? Methinks not.
2. He can balance both swag and sophistication, and a career and a personal life without too many proverbial exclamation points.
And certainly not multiple ones in a text message. No, no, no.
3. He reserves his “LOL” for actual laughter, which he exudes out loud and often.
4. He isn’t looking to play “pen pal” with you through your iPhone.
Because he knows that all text and no play makes Johnny a very dull boy.
5. When he’s interested in a woman, he doesn’t wait three days to call her.
But he does actually call her, and when he does, he asks her out for dinner, makes reservations, picks a great bottle of wine (because he knows how to) and then makes sure she gets home safely.
6. If he wants to see her again, he lets her know.
And if he doesn’t, he politely lets her know that it was a pleasure to spend time with her, even if it wasn’t. He does, however, let her know gently and firmly enough that he’s not interested so she doesn’t waste her time thinking it might become something it won’t.
7. He reads actual books and newspapers.
He holds opinions on everything from scotch pairings to world events, all while understanding that not all of his opinions are facts and that not everyone has to agree with him in order for him to maintain his relationships or his manhood.
In fact, he enjoys it when you don’t agree with him because it means he gets to indulge you in a good debate or leave you thinking a little bit harder about things than when you sat down in front of him.
8. He opens doors and takes coats.
Not because he feels a woman is weak, but because he’s strong enough to show that he cares about the comfort of those around him.
9. He might want to get into a woman’s bed, but he’s also interested in getting into her head.
Experience has shown him that seduction is a delicate dance, and the man who resides in her mind has conquered every other part of her.