5 Powerful Tips For Self Care After Trauma

Written By:

Written By:

Self Care Tips for Abuse Trauma Survivors 1

Being a trauma survivor is a challenging journey, but it is also an empowering one. Trauma acts as the catalyst for us to learn how to better engage in self care and introduces us to endless modalities for healing and expressing ourselves, enabling us to channel our crisis into our transformation.




Most importantly, it gives us access to connect with other survivors who have been where we are. It is in these validating communities that we tend to find the most healing, even outside of the therapy space.

5 Powerful Tips For Self Care After Trauma And Abuse

Here are some self care tips that I’ve lived by that can benefit the healing journey of those who have been through trauma and abuse.



Self Care After Trauma

1. Positive affirmations. 

In order to reprogram our subconscious mind, which has undoubtedly been affected by the abusive words and actions we’ve undergone, we have to literally reprogram our brain and cease the negative, destructive automatic thoughts that may arise in our day-to-day life.

These thoughts stir self-sabotage and hold us back from embracing all the power and agency we have to rebuild our lives. Many of these thoughts are not even our own, but rather, the voices of our abusers and bullies who continue to taunt us far long after the abuse has ended.

When we’ve been abused or bullied in any way, we continue to abuse ourselves with what trauma therapist Pete Walker calls the “inner critical voice.




The most powerful way I’ve reprogrammed my own inner critical voice is through a system of positive affirmations that I engage in on a daily basis. These are positive affirmations that should be tailored to your particular wounds and insecurities.

For example, if you have an insecurity about your appearance that your abuser has attempted to instill in you, a positive affirmation can gently interrupt the pattern of ruminating over such harsh comments by replacing the toxic thought with a loving one.

A self-sabotaging thought about your appearance suddenly becomes, “I am beautiful, inside and out” whenever the harmful thought or emotion associated with the thought comes up.

One of the most effective techniques in engaging in these positive affirmations aside from saying them aloud is a technique from my larger method of “reverse discourse” which I discuss in my first book, The Smart Girl’s Guide to Self Care.

Record all of your positive affirmations on a tape recovery or a voice recording application and listen to them daily. Hearing your own voice repeating these affirmations daily – “I love myself,” “I am valuable,” “I am worthy,” “I am beautiful” – is a potent way to rewrite the narrative abusers have written for you and banish that browbeating bully inside of your own head.

2. Translate mind to body. 

According to trauma expert Dr. Bessel van der Kolk, author of The Body Keeps the Score, trauma lives in our bodies as well as our minds. It’s important that we find at least one form of physical outlet for the intense emotions of grief, rage, and hurt we’re bound to feel in the aftermath of abuse and trauma, in order to combat the paralysis that accompanies trauma, leaving us feeling numb and frozen.




I personally love kickboxing, yoga, dance cardio, and running while listening to empowering music or listening to positive affirmations. Do something that you’re passionate about and love to do. Don’t force your body into activities that you’re not comfortable with or exhaust yourself. Using physical exercise as an outlet should be an act of self care, not self-destruction.

Read: 3 Lessons I Learned From Growing Out of Trauma

3. Breathe. 

For abuse survivors who struggle with symptoms of PTSD or complex PTSD, mindful breathing exercises and meditation are especially helpful in managing our fight, flight, freeze or fawn responses to flashbacks and ruminating thoughts.

Taking time to observe our breath, whether it be for five minutes or an hour, can be immensely helpful in managing our emotions and nonjudgmentally addressing our painful triggers. In addition, meditation literally rewires our brain so that we are able to mindfully approach any maladaptive responses that may keep us locked into the traumatic event.

If you have never meditated before and would like to try it, I would highly recommend an app known as Stop, Breathe and Think, recommended for people of all ages.

4. Channel your pain into creativity.

Art therapy is especially helpful to survivors of PTSD because it enables survivors to find modes of expression that allow them to create and integrate rather than self-destruct. According to van der Kolk, trauma can affect Broca’s area of the brain which deals with language. It can shut this area of the brain down, disabling us from expressing what is occurring.

Allowing ourselves to express the trauma in a somatic way is important because trauma and the dissociation that comes with it can be difficult to process into words. When we are dissociated from the trauma, our brain protects itself from the traumatic event by giving us an outsider perspective to the trauma, disconnecting us from our identity, thoughts, feelings, and memories related to the trauma.




Read: How To Heal From Childhood Trauma When Its Hampering Your Mental Health

The brain tends to “split” a traumatic event to make it easier to digest. Since trauma can disconnect us from both our minds and bodies through processes of depersonalization, derealization, and even amnesia, art can help us reintegrate the trauma where we were previously disconnected from the experience.

As Andrea Schneider, LCSW, puts it, expressive arts can be a way of “mastering the trauma” that we’ve experienced. Whether it’s writing, painting, drawing, making music, doing arts and crafts – it’s important to release the trauma in alternative ways that engage both our mind and body.

When we create something, we can also have the option of sharing our art with the world – whether it’s a beautiful painting or a book, harnessing our pain into creativity can be a life-changing experience – both for ourselves and for others.

5. Asking for help

self care after trauma

Contrary to popular opinion, asking for help does not make you helpless or powerless. It is in fact, a strong recognition of your own power to be able to seek help and be open to receiving it. If you are struggling with the effects of trauma, I highly recommend finding a validating mental health professional who specializes in trauma and understands its symptoms.




It is important that you are supported in a safe space with a trauma-informed counselor who can meet your needs and gently guide you with the appropriate therapy that addresses. Some survivors benefit from EMDR therapy, which is a therapy that enables them to process their trauma without being re-traumatized in the process. Be sure to discuss with your mental health professional what the right type of therapy is for you.

As a supplement to therapy, you may wish to also consult the resources on this excellent list, which includes free or low-cost mental health resources.

Throughout this journey of healing from trauma and abuse, make sure that you are being self-compassionate towards yourself. A lot of trauma survivors suffer from toxic shame and self-blame.

It’s important that we are gentle towards ourselves during this journey, that we acknowledge that we are doing our very best and that we ask ourselves every day, “What would be the most loving thing I can do for myself at this moment?” in any circumstance. There is no time limit to learning and healing, there is only the power of transforming our adversity into victory.


Copyright © 2016 by Shahida Arabi.  All rights reserved. No part of this entry, which is an excerpt from my upcoming book, may be reproduced, distributed, or transmitted in any form or by any means, including photocopying, recording, or other electronic or mechanical methods, without the prior written permission of the author. This includes adaptations in all forms of media.


5 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Abuse and Trauma Survivors
5 Powerful Self-Care Tips for Abuse and Trauma Survivors
Self Care Tips Abuse Trauma Survivors
Powerful Self Care Tips for Abuse and Trauma Survivors pin


— Share —

Published On:

Last updated on:

, , , ,

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

6 Signs of Crazy Making Behavior: Is Your Partner Messing with Your Mind?

Signs of Crazy Making Behavior: Are You Being Gaslighted?

If you have ever walked away from a conversation with your head spinning and feeling thoroughly confused, you might be dealing with crazy making behavior. Crazy making behavior is actually gaslighting’s sneaky cousin – something that makes you doubt your reality and second-guess yourself.

This is a type of emotional manipulation in relationships, which is often subtle and hard to pinpoint. However, over time, it takes a toll on your emotional and mental health, leaving your drained.

So, today we are going to talk about what is crazy making behavior, six signs manipulation in relationships, and how you can protect yourself from the emotional turmoil and chaos it creates.

Related:

Up Next

The 5 Worst Forms Of Manipulation People Do To Each Other

The Worst Forms Of Manipulation People Do To Each Other

Manipulation is sneaky, toxic, and all too common in how people treat each other. Let’s dive into the 5 worst forms of manipulation that can mess with your mind and emotions.

KEY POINTS

The worst forms of manipulation are those that unravel our sense of self, leaving us doubting our worth.

Whether it’s gaslighting, love bombing, or guilt-tripping, the goal is always the same: Control.

Once we recognize these tactics, we can reclaim our power and ignore the mind games.

Humans are hands-down the most social creatures on the planet. We can form a

Up Next

Is Your Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? 9 Ways to Help Her Break Free

Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? Things You Can Do

Have you ever had a very strong gut feeling that your daughter might not be in a healthy relationship? Or that she is in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend? Today we are going to talk about what you can do, when you have a daughter in a controlling relationship.

Yeah, it’s a tough pill to swallow. Bossy boyfriends sneakily isolate, manipulate and dim the light in the people they date. And if your daughter is dating someone like this, then it’s understandable how tough it can be to watch that.

However, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel – as her mother, you can help her break free from her controlling boyfriend. This isn’t about swooping in like a superhero; it’s about being smart, supportive, and steady.

First, let’s start with trying to understand who a controlling boyfriend

Up Next

8 Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Gaslighting is often misunderstood, and myths about gaslighting only adds to the confusion. Understanding this and trying to break down the most common misconceptions can help us uncover the truth about this manipulative behavior.

KEY POINTS

There’s a difference between casual phrases and patterns of manipulative behavior.

Gaslighting can have serious consequences and leave emotional and psychological pain.

Recognizing gaslighters can save you a lot of emotional pain and doubt.

It’s concerning how certain psychological terms can quickly become f

Up Next

6 Phases Of A Relationship With A Narcissist: The Emotional Rollercoaster

Relationship With A Narcissist Phases Of The Toxic Cycle

Being in a relationship with a narcissist can feel like an emotional rollercoaster, with each phase presenting new challenges and realizations. These phases of a narcissistic relationship leave you questioning your self-worth. Understanding these stages can help you navigate the ups and downs of a narcissistic relationship more effectively.

KEY POINTS

Narcissists may manipulate through observation and charm, creating a false sense of bonding.

These relationships have distinct phases, often involving a gradual, potentially traumatizing end.

Understanding these phases aids in healing and setting boundaries.

Up Next

10 Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

Red Flags of a Vindictive Mother and How to Stay Strong

So, who exactly is a “vindictive mother”? Well, it’s not just a mom who’s a little cranky or gives you the cold shoulder once in a while. We’re talking about those mothers who holds grudges, plays mind games, and never hesitates to make your life harder. Why? Because she can.

A vindictive mother is a malicious mother, who isn’t your regular parent—she is controlling, manipulative, and, at times, straight out cruel.

Do you feel like you have to walk on eggshells around her? If you answered yes, then chances are you have vindictive narcissist mother. So today we are going to explore what the signs of a toxic mum are and what you can do to handle her.

Related:

Up Next

Feeling Exhausted? 8 Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Signs of an Emotionally Draining Person to Look Out For

Have you ever hung out with someone and have left feeling like you just ran a 5k marathon without moving an inch? If you’re nodding along, this is just one of the many signs of an emotionally draining person.

These energy vampires are really talented when it comes to mentally exhausting you, even though you didn’t do anything but have a simple conversation.

Have there been times where you have felt completely wiped after a chat or hangout? Then maybe it’s time to figure out if you’re dealing with an emotionally draining person.

Today, we are going to talk about what is an emotionally draining person, the traits of an emotionally draining person and how to deal with an emotionally draining person.

Let’s start with what is an emotionally draining