1. The key to having a happy, fulfilling & long-lasting marriage is to take accountability for the role you play in relationships
Relationship is a partnership between two people and therefore both of them are equally responsible for its health and quality.
A healthy relationship is when both partners meet each other halfway.
If one partner shies away from taking accountability for his role in the relationship, the quality of the relationship is bound to deteriorate.
“When you are in denial about your part in the relationship, then you are no better than child-flinging sand at another child in a sandbox. When you take responsibility for your part in the marriage, only then will you be able to connect with your partner in a mature, intimate way.” — Carin Goldstein, LMFT
2. Make time for showering your partner with TLC
Research shows that touching generates feel good chemicals like serotonin and enhances bonding by releasing oxytocin in our bodies.
It is important to make time each day to shower your partner with Tender Love and Care and squeeze in moments of physical touch whether it is hugs, kisses or a simple pat on the back.
“Hold hands, rub shoulders, hug, and kiss, give high-fives or even fist-bumps or bottom pats. When you give a quick hug or kiss, try to lengthen it to at least 5 or 10 seconds for more effective results!” — Lori Lowe, MA
3. Learn how to agree to disagree.
All of us are born with different conditioning and belief systems. We have different thought processes and values and it is impossible for two people to agree on all the points. Maturity lies in learning to agree to disagree.
“No two people agree on everything, and that’s okay, but it’s important to be okay with each other’s differences.” — Lee Bowers, LP, PhD
4. It is not about how expensive the gift is, but the amount of thoughtfulness that goes into it
Love is not about expensive gifts or date nights but the thoughtfulness that goes into expressing love. You can get as creative as you want to express your love to your partner.
“Take the time to write a thoughtful note every so often saying what you love and appreciate about him/her. Drop it in his/her briefcase or purse so he/she will find it unexpectedly and it will brighten up his/her day.” — Suzanne K. Oshima, Dating Coach
5. For men, it’s important to understand that women want to be listened to and for women, it is important to understand that men need their me time.
Men and women are wired differently and therefore they have different needs. A woman’s basic need is to feel heard and the man’s basic need is me time.
“Men don’t need to solve or fix everything; listening to itself is an exceptional gift. For women, it’s important to understand that men need time for themselves. By giving him space to pull away and not taking it personally, you allow him to reconnect with his desire for you and his commitment to the relationship.” — Mars Venus Coaching, Life Coach
6. The biggest turn off in any relationship is trying to change your spouse.
Love means accepting your partner as they are. You can off course encourage them to be a better version of themselves but if you keep on nagging them to change who they are at the core, you send across a message that you don’t like them as they are. And that is the biggest turn-off. Nobody likes a partner who turns them into a project to be fixed instead of accepting them for who they are.
“When you try to change your spouse you come across as a nag and wind up sending the message that ‘who you are is not enough.’ Nobody likes getting that message, and it leads to distance and polarization. Let your spouse be who he or she is and focus on changing yourself.” — Dr. Rick Kirschner, Relationship Coach
7. Learn to have arguments with your partner in a healthy manner without any shaming, blaming or needing to be right.
Whenever we get into an argument, our primary tendency is to get defensive or assign blame to the other person. But this tendency stops us from listening effectively to the other person’s point of view.