You deserve better than this.
You deserve to be loved the way you do. To be caressed the way your hands caress them. To be kissed passionately regardless of the time and place. To be embraced tightly but gently. To be missed and told so. To be badly craved for. You deserve better than being in love, and that’s being loved back without you telling and asking. Without the need to make them believe you are worthy of it all. You deserve spontaneous love.
So stop convincing him who takes you for granted. Stop convincing that man who isn’t worthy of your lavish love. Stop asking for his time, effort, care. Stop begging for attention. Because with the right man, you don’t have to do all this.
With the right man, you will no longer need to always embrace him by the back when he’s busy; because he will definitely put down whatever preoccupies him to come to you and give you that warm hug. With the right man, you will no longer ask for a simple lunch together; because he will be the one to cook for you and even surprise you with an extra special romantic dinner. With the right man, you will no longer need to put makeup on and wear uncomfortable fancy clothes to show him you can always be beautiful; because it’s your very soul he falls in love with. With the right man, you don’t need to prove you are worthy of love; because he just knows it very well, and he will act right on it.
You are not made to chase, but to be the one pursued. You are not made to be desperate, but to be won as a precious prize. You are not made to long for reassurance, but to be committed with. You are special. Beautiful. Amazing. Don’t deprive yourself of genuine love.
You have to force yourself to give up. To give up on something that’s not working. To give up on someone who doesn’t appreciate a wonderful blessing and chooses something else. Because believe me, he does not deserve any part of you. Fighting for him will just end up on disappointment and suffering. And love shouldn’t be like a punishment to anyone.
Loving can be painful, yes. But when it comes to the point where you’re already degrading yourself, it’s time to leave.
Perhaps the only thing that can convince him to love you is letting him go. Perhaps your absence can make him realize how dumb he is. Perhaps hurting his pride is the best revenge. All I know is that you have to release and delight in that great freedom from a senseless relationship. Spend that energy for yourself. For the people who stay. Master self-care. And once you bloom into a more beautiful flower, he will realize his great loss.
He will feel guilty. He will be envious of the right man who comes along. He will try to check on you. He will suggest the desire for reconciliation. He will ask for another chance as he promises to love you back this time. He will leave what he chose over you. But by that time, you have already built up walls to protect yourself from him. You have already reserved your heart for the right man. You have surmounted the stupidity of imploring him for affection. So when he convinces you to love him again, you’ll be the one to say I’m done.