Reparenting your inner child is not about fixing your past, it’s about learning how to take care of yourself now in the ways you always needed back then. We all have an inner child, the part of us that still remembers what it felt like to be hurt, ignored, unsupported, or emotionally misunderstood.
So, whether your childhood was full of chaos or just lacked emotional safety, those unmet needs don’t magically disappear as you grow up. They stay, buried, showing up in your adult life in sneaky, painful ways.
Let’s break down 7 ways to begin reparenting yourself, with just small things you can actually do.
But what is reparenting?
Inner child reparenting is when an adult takes therapy to meet their own emotional or physical needs that went unmet in their childhood. This often includes the adult having to create a new, healthy parent figure for themselves.
Here Are 7 Simple Ways To Start Reparenting Your Inner Child
1. Replace Harsh Self-Talk with Simple Phrases
If you grew up in a home where criticism was constant or lacked emotional support, you likely learned to be your own worst critic. That voice in your head telling you you’re not good enough? It’s old conditioning.
If you catch yourself saying things like “I’m so stupid,” “Why do I always mess this up,” or “Nobody likes me”? Start replacing them with one of these:
- “I’m doing the best I can.”
- “It’s okay to make mistakes.”
- “I’m safe right now.”
You don’t need to force positive affirmations you don’t believe. Just be a little less cruel to yourself. That’s progress.
2. Say No Without Explaining Yourself
If your childhood taught you that love must be earned through people-pleasing or constant availability, one of the most direct ways of inner child reparenting is to set boundaries. And a great way to practice that? Say no, clearly and kindly, without justifying it.
Examples:
- “No, I can’t make it this weekend.”
- “I’m not available for that right now.”
That simple act protects your time, your energy, and your peace — especially if your inner child was taught that love had to be earned through people-pleasing.
3. Buy (or Revisit) One Thing You Loved as a Kid
Healing doesn’t always have to look serious. Joy is part of it too. Reintroducing something you loved as a child, a snack, a cartoon, a book that made you feel comforted, tells your inner child: “You didn’t deserve to lose the fun parts of you.”
When you reconnect with innocent, simple joy, you reclaim something that was always yours: the right to feel good.
You’re still allowed to have fun. You’re still loved.
This is a gentle way to make peace with your younger self, not by ignoring the past, but by offering comfort in the present.
4. Stock Your Home With Comfort Items
Many of us didn’t grow up in homes where we felt physically or emotionally safe. Small comforts like warm food, soft textures, and soothing sounds can help calm your nervous system and signal to your inner child: “You’re safe now.”
This isn’t about being childish. It’s about being kind to the part of you that craved comfort and didn’t get enough of it.
Keep a few of those things in your adult space like:
- A stash of snacks you loved growing up
- A cozy corner with a blanket and a book
- A go-to playlist that calms you
These little touches remind your nervous system that you’re safe now. That’s a big part of reparenting yourself.
Read More Here: Inner Child Work: 5 Ways To Heal The Different Types Of Childhood Trauma
5. Eat When You’re Hungry, Not Just When It’s “Time”
This might sound simple, but it’s deeply healing. Many of us grew up being told when and what to eat or experienced food being used as control. A big part of reparenting inner child is learning to listen to your body with kindness.
Try this:
- Keep easy meals/snacks on hand so you don’t skip meals out of stress
- Don’t shame yourself for comfort eating — just notice what you’re really needing
- Ask yourself, “What would feel nourishing right now?”
Meeting basic needs without guilt is a form of emotional parenting.
6. Limit Contact With Emotionally Unsafe People
If you were surrounded by chaos or emotional instability as a child, you may have learned to tolerate toxic dynamics as “normal.” But now, you get to choose what kind of energy you allow into your life.
Protecting your energy protects your healing. This isn’t about cutting off everyone who upsets you. But if someone constantly triggers anxiety, guilt, or shame, take a step back.
That might mean:
- Taking longer to reply to someone who drains you
- Skipping a phone call you’re dreading
- Saying “I can’t talk about this right now” and walking away
You’re not being cold. You’re learning to protect your peace, something your inner child may have never had.
7. Book the Therapy Or Support You Needed Back Then
Sometimes the most direct way of reparenting inner child is to finally ask for the help you once needed but didn’t get. Maybe what you needed as a child was someone to listen, someone to protect you, someone to help you make sense of overwhelming emotions. Getting help now doesn’t mean you’re broken, it means you’re choosing to grow.
- Starting therapy (even online, even short-term)
- Joining a support group or online community
- Reading books on healing childhood trauma
Read More Here: Healing Your Inner Child: A Path to Overcoming Trauma
Reparenting your inner child doesn’t require a complete life overhaul. It’s about showing up in small ways, over and over again, with patience and care. Because you deserve that kind of love, especially from yourself.
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