Times are changing, and the world is slowly waking up, and accepting the fact that women deserve to be treated the same way as men, and it’s high time women are made to feel like humans, rather than people who are second to men. But, like everything in this world, there is always some bad along with the good. There are many women in this society who end up being prime examples of toxic femininity, and always focus on putting other women down.
Just like toxic masculinity has proved to be a detrimental thing for the progress of human society, toxic femininity also ends up causing a lot of harm to it. If you are wondering what is toxic femininity, and whether it is as bad as it sounds, then yes, it is. Sometimes, it’s worse than toxic masculinity, because, at the end of the day, when it’s women pulling other women down, you can understand how problematic it is.
Here Are 10 Specimens Of Toxic Femininity That People Think Are Not A Big Deal
1. “I am not like other girls.
When you make a statement like this, you are basically putting down other women who might differ from you, in order to make yourself look good. Every woman is different, and by explicitly stating that you are not “like them”, you are implying that there is something wrong with them and that they deserve the judgment they face from the society.
2. “She is so dumb, isn’t she?”
Even today most men consider women to be dumb, and intellectually stunted. This toxic kind of social conditioning is hard to get out of, but what makes matters worse is when women participate in making fun of other women, just to stay in the good books of men.
Some of them feel that men are attracted to women who compete with each other, but if you look at the bigger picture, you are playing a big part in the ongoing vilification of women.
Related: 7 Signs of A Female Narcissist
3. “Your life will be incomplete without kids.”
Now, having kids is an amazing thing, and parenthood can truly enrich your life. But it’s unfair when women who do not like kids or don’t have any plans of having kids, are made to feel guilty, and bad about it. So many women out there make such women feel as if their lives are incomplete, just because they don’t have children.
Having children can be a beautiful thing, but they are not the be-all and end-all of a woman’s life.
4. “Strong women scare men off.”
If this is actually true, then so be it. Women who tell other women to dumb themselves down, because they feel that men are intimidated by intelligent and strong women, are the flag bearers of toxic femininity.
When you tell a woman to not be as smart as a man or stop them from standing up for themselves, you are basically telling them that women are supposed to be inferior to men. The right man will never be “scared off” by a woman with brains, and a strong personality; he will rather embrace her and be proud of his partner/spouse for being the person she is.
5. “Real women should be curvy.”
In which manifesto is it written that women who are curvy, are “real” women? Every woman has a different body type, and every woman is unique and beautiful in her own way. So when you are associating their body types with them being real or not, you are telling them that they need to be better.
Just like insulting overweight people for their weight is body shaming, so is insulting women who are thin, or do not have “curves”. Body shaming is not limited to a certain body type only, you know.
6. “She is just a housewife.”
Women who make fun of other women, and judge them for being homemakers, unknowingly perpetuate toxic femininity to no end. If a woman chooses to be a housewife, it is her choice, and she does not deserve to be judged or ridiculed for that. Just like going out and earning money is an important thing, so is taking care of your home.
And everyone knows this by now, that being a housewife is sometimes way harder than being a working professional.
Related: 9 Types of Toxic People That Will Drain Your Energy
7. “I know what is good for you.”
Since time immemorial, women have been stamped with the “nurturer” tag. Now, don’t get me wrong; there is absolutely nothing wrong with caring about the people you love and making sure that they are always happy and healthy.
But, when some women use this as a means for dominating and controlling their partners or children into doing their bidding, that’s when it goes downhill. Using one’s gender to manipulate people is morally never the right thing to do.
8. “She is too girly.”
Centuries of social conditioning have convinced us that men are better than women. Men are more capable than women. Men are stronger than women. And no matter what you do, women will always be the weaker sex. It’s a compliment when you are compared with a man, but it’s the biggest insult when you are compared to a woman.
Naturally, when some women fully embrace their femininity, they are tagged as “too girly”, and “too feminine” by their counterparts. A woman is supposed to be feminine, just like a man is supposed to be masculine. So, if it’s a good thing for a man to be manly, why is it a negative thing for a girl to be girly?
9. “You need to be stronger when you have your period.”
Menstruation or periods are tough to deal with as it is, and not to forget exceptionally painful. Competing with each other regarding who has more pain tolerance is wrong on so many levels. There are many women out there who do not have horrible and painful cramps, and even if they do they deal with them better. On the other hand, there are many women who have such bad cramps, that they find it extremely difficult to even get out of their beds.
Instead of making the women who fall in the latter category feel bad about their struggles, why not help them deal with it better? Menstruation is one of the biggest things that bring women together, so why not use it as a positive bonding experience?
Related: How Emotionally Intelligent People Handle Toxic People
10. “Women are more mature, and responsible than men.”
Women are strong enough to take care of themselves, just like men are. So, when you tell a woman that because women mature faster than men, you are indirectly implying that women should always be the “bigger person”.
This leads to the toxic mentality that women need to rehabilitate, and reform men and their toxicities. Both men and women should have the ability to differentiate between right and wrong and work towards helping each other be better. To put the onus of it on one specific gender, is unfair, to say the least.
Toxic femininity is as harmful as toxic masculinity, and if not checked in time, it can have horrible repercussions. No gender should be forced into a specific box and expected to strictly follow the rules that come with it. Having an open mind, and working together will only help in taking society in the right direction.
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