Can stinking thinking sabotage healing and recovery?
How I challenged cognitive errors and found recovery.
Key points
- Negative thoughts in early recovery can lead to shame and isolation.
- The RAP framework (Realistic, Adaptive, and Positive) can help restructure negative thinking.
- Negative thoughts in addiction and early recovery can often be cognitive errors.
- I don’t wish that my recovery story was different but I do wish I understood the power of my thoughts
Stinking Thinking In Recovery
As someone who has recently celebrated 16 years of continued recovery, I am asked if there is anything that I wish I could have done differently during my addiction or early on in my recovery. I always answer with “no” because I believe everything happens for a reason, and I am grateful for my recovery story.
However, I do think that there are a few things that would have helped, especially in how I viewed recovery, myself, and others during those tough times. You often hear “stinking thinking,” the negative rumination that goes on in our heads, leads to drinking in the recovery rooms. I wish I had spent more time diving into what this means and how it impacted my recovery.
In cognitive behavior therapy (CBT), you will learn about cognitive errors and how these errors in thinking influence our feelings and behavior. I want to review some of these errors and discuss the use of a clinical tool I employ in my work, called the RAP, which involves restructuring negative thoughts with realistic, adaptive, and positive ones. I will explore some negative thoughts or stinking thinking that I had in my early days of recovery that could have helped me focus more on my recovery and not on the consequences of these negative thoughts.
Read More Here: Navigating Change In Recovery
Cognitive Errors and the RAP
“I am never going to be able to work recovery!” This type of thought is known as an overgeneralization cognitive error. These types of mental mistakes, particularly when you see the words “always” and “never,” contribute to feelings of hopelessness and shame. I would start truly believing these words, which would either contribute to me not attending therapy or meetings and continuing unhealthy ways of living my life. If I were to use the RAP after expressing this overgeneralization it would look like this:
Realistic. Recovery is hard, not easy. Others have had lapses and relapses, and then by not giving, I can live a life that I can be proud of and be there for my family.
Adaptive. I need to take it one day at a time, just taking one step forward. When I feel like I’m in a bad spot, I don’t want to attend meetings or therapy sessions, knowing that’s when I need to be present the most.
Positive. I am not giving up; I am working on myself. I have been able to get a day, weeks, and months sober and clean in the past. I have shown that I am resilient, strong, and empowered.
By using the RAP, the focus on the negative thought and the potential that this spirals into more negative thinking can be cut short by thinking of all or a few of the thoughts generated by the RAP.
Another example of negative thoughts that I know has impacted my recovery early on is that “people will think I am a failure” or “I think I am a failure” for being someone who has a substance use disorder. These types of cognitive errors are mind-reading and labeling. I believe others will think I am a failure, which is mind-reading, and I am a failure, which is labeling.
Realistic. I may not be able to control what other people think of me, but I can control how I think and feel about myself. I also know that people close to me do not believe this, and they take pride in the work I am doing in recovery.
Adaptive. I am someone who is working on these thoughts in therapy. I understand that these types of thoughts are errors or “lies” that I tell myself, which can be explored and restructured to think in a healthier way.
Positive- Recovery is the opposite of failure; I am healing, growing, and working towards being the best version of myself. I am strong, resilient, and empowered, which are hallmarks of individuals in recovery from substance use disorders and/or mental health concerns.
What I Believe Now
I mentioned a few of the negative thoughts and cognitive errors that I believed and would say to myself early in recovery. There were many more, but what happens when you don’t give up on yourself, continue to work on your treatment, and explore at a deeper level of “stinking thinking” is that you start to live your life in a genuine, authentic, and beautiful way.
It will allow you to take risks if that means going for a new job, going back to school for your doctorate, or being a father who is not only present but loving, kind, and consistent (I would have said a father who is funny but my 11 and 14-year-old I don’t think believe that).
Negative thoughts will be present during your struggles with addiction and in your recovery. When you have a negative thought, try to determine if it’s potentially connected to a cognitive error and counter it with realistic, adaptive, and positive thoughts, essentially adopting a healthier perspective.
Read More Here: 15 Common Cognitive Distortions That Twist Your Thinking
In the end, I wish I had told my younger self not to believe the lies, and today, I am grateful that I no longer do. Recovery has given me a clear mind where I can have hope instead of shame. I hope this reflection has helped anyone struggling with addiction and/or mental health concerns. You are not alone!
“You’re not alone. Whether you’re struggling, supporting someone in recovery, or simply seeking tools to improve your mental health—there is help, there is hope, and there is healing. For more thoughts on recovery, stigma, and wellness, follow my Psychology Today column or connect with me on LinkedIn at https://www.linkedin.com/in/patrick-mcelwaine-4b635316/ and my website https://www.drmactherapy.com/. I’d love to continue the conversation.”
Written by Patrick McElwaine Psy.D.
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today
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