You get home tired. You look at your partner and smile like every single day. You try to talk and connect, but a thousand things run through your mind. You curse yourself for another failed attempt to strengthen your relationship. Spending quality time with your partner has become a distant dream.
Wondering how you can spend more quality time with your loved one? Worry not, my friend. We have got you covered. If you feel like your relationship is waning and you need to reconnect with your partner, then nothing can be better than spending some time with your loved one. When you connect with the person you love without any distractions or interruptions and offer them your undivided attention, you can build a lasting emotional connection with your spouse or partner.
Even though you may see and talk to each other on a daily basis, spending some meaningful quality time with your spouse can bring some much needed romance back into your dull relationship.
What is quality time in a relationship?
So what does quality time mean? Well, it is the time you spend specifically with your romantic partner or loved ones, giving them your undivided attention and focus without any distractions. During this time, you are not focused on doing anything or worried about any other thing that’s going on in your life. The objective of spending quality time together is to better understand the other person, enjoy some memorable moments doing enjoyable things and winding down after a day of hard work, stress and frustration. It also promotes intimacy, understanding, empathy, compassion, romance and emotional connection among couples.
Related: The Pain Of Being Apart Could Be The True Measure Of A Relationship
Spending quality time together can help couples relax, engage in their shared interests and passions and nourish the love they have for each other without any worries about their jobs, families or other responsibilities. The primary focus is on improving communication as both partners find out what’s going on in one another’s life. It allows you to talk to your partner about current events and issues without any unnecessary interruptions like your smartphone, laptop, TV etc. The focus is always on them and the objective is to make them feel important, valued, loved and special.
How to spend quality time with your partner
Thanks to our modern lifestyle, spending quality time with the person we love the most is becoming increasingly difficult and scarce. Even when we do manage the time to spend together, our mind remains somewhere else. But quality time is not about simply being physically close to someone while you are mentally and emotionally involved with something else. When you are mentally disconnected, it will not do any favors for your relationship, no matter how much time you spend with someone.
Related: 4 Ways Parents Can Balance Couple Time And Family Time
So if you want to save your relationship, you need to be mindful about the moments you share with each other. Here are some of the most effective ways for spending quality time with your partner and for rekindling romance in your relationship –
1. Talk to them
The most fundamental objective of spending quality time together is to improve communication. So what can be better than talking to each other? When you are in a real relationship, that is what you want, right? To know about them, understand them better, and share their feelings. So put down your phone, turn off the TV, and just talk to them. Openly. And honestly. Ask about their day. Ask about their career, their future plans, their goals, or even their haters. Tell them about how your day was and what you are planning to do in the next few weeks. Talking can be highly effective in building emotional connection and reducing loneliness. Talking is the simplest yet the most important way of spending quality time together.
2. And listen
But talking alone is not enough, you also need to actively listen. This is where you actually show how interested you are in them. When you listen to someone with your undivided attention and without any judgment, the other person feels heard, understood and supported. They feel like they matter to the person they love and this can help to boost their self-esteem and self-confidence. And the more positive they feel about themselves, the more positive they will feel about the relationship and about you.
However, active listening generally does not occur in hurried communications between two people, believe researchers. So if you are planning on spending quality time with your loved one, then you need to focus on “listening for the content, intent, and feeling” of your partner. Show your interest in the conversation by asking adequate questions, verbally and with non-verbal, visual cues, such as body movement, posture, facial expressions, eye contact, attentive silence etc.
If active listening is not your greatest strength, then here are a few tips you need to keep in mind –
- Cut out all distractions
- Deliberately focus on the content of what your partner is saying
- Ask meaningful questions that encourage them to open up further
- Do not judge, criticize or correct them
- Validate them when they seek your approval
- Try to be more empathetic and supportive
- Nod in approval and lean in at appropriate times
- Refrain from giving any advice unless your partner specifically asks for it
- Listen to them, even if you don’t agree with them
Related: The 5 Levels Of Listening: How To Be A Better Listener
3. Go on more dates
One of the best pieces of relationship advice I ever got was do what you did in the beginning of your relationship. And that includes going on dates. When we first get into a relationship, we want to spend a lot of time with each other. So we go on a LOT of dates – whether it’s a fancy dinner or just a walk around the block after watching a movie. We focus on building connections and making our partner happy. But as the relationship progresses, our efforts tend to dry up even if our intentions remain the same. So if you are struggling with spending quality time together, then take your spouse or partner out on more dates.
And it’s really easy. You know what they like, their interests, their favorite food, favorite restaurants and pubs, and what excites and relaxes them. So use that information to your advantage and build a stronger connection. Plan regular dates with your partner every week. My secret is going on a quick mid-week date, followed by a well thought out date on the weekend. However, if you are strapped for time, then spending some time together over the weekend can be as beneficial. “Spending time with a romantic partner by going on dates is important for promoting closeness in established relationships,” explains a 2021 study.
In fact, if possible, revisit or recreate your first date as a couple. But you don’t have to plan a fancy date every time or even go out that much. The focus is on being together and having fun. It’s perfectly fine to stay home and have a movie night. Or you can cook something for your partner on Friday night and stay up all night listening to music, dancing, talking and doing silly things. Sounds fun, right? It sure is.
Related: 10 Unwritten Rules Of Modern Dating
4. Experiment, explore and try new things as a couple
Instead of doing the same old things and following the same routine when spending quality time together, spice things up a little. Take some risks, do something new, and experiment a little. You are already bored and exhausted with your daily life, so why would you want to make your relationship boring with the same old stuff? Add some pizzaz and get a little frisky. Do things that you don’t usually do, such as –
- Go to the amusement park and ride the roller coaster together
- Try some fun cosplay
- Go for ballroom dancing
- Try gardening or even skydiving
- Learn to cook or bake as a couple
- Try a new restaurant in a different part of town
- Try some new moves (or even toys) in the bedroom
- Join a dance class as a couple
- Learn a new language or invent a new language
- Explore some new hobbies together
The list is literally endless.
As Barney Stinson (Yes, I’m a HIMYM fan) famously said, “New is always better.” So make sure to try new things and explore unknown territories with your partner as it will keep your relationship spicy and exciting. Exploring new hobbies and activities as a couple will strengthen your emotional connection as you will rely on each other for mental, physical and emotional support.
Related: 5 Signs That You Are Being Codependent In Your Relationship
5. Focus in the quality of time spent together, not the quantity
Your partner spends about 8 to 10 hours at work every day. Yet they still feel stressed and frustrated with their work, coworkers and boss. But when they are with you even for 30 minutes, they feel a lot more relaxed, calmer and happier. That’s the power of spending quality time with the person you love. So instead of focusing on the amount of time you spend with each other, focus on the positive emotions you share during that time, regardless of how brief that may be. When it comes to dating, relationships and love, the nitty-gritties don’t matter as much as the memories you create and the emotions you share.
The quality of your interactions is going to matter a lot more to your partner than the quality of the restaurant you visit. As long as you have meaningful conversations that are free from interruptions and distractions, you will be able to express your love and care for your partner, no matter how little time you spend together. A 3 second morning kiss before your partner leaves for work can make them a lot happier than a 3 hour work meeting. The secret is in sharing love and happiness together and enjoying each other;s company. It’s called ‘spending quality time’ and not ‘spending quantity time’ for a reason.
Related: The Grey, Gritty Details of Long Term Marriage: Is “living happily ever after” really a thing?
6. Have more sex
Ah yes, the sex. As if you need me to explain why you need to have more sex with your partner, but I am going to anyways. When we are talking about spending quality time with your partner, we can’t ignore the importance of having good and frequent sex. Studies have found that having more sex with your romantic partner “may promote intimacy in the relationship and thus overall relationship quality.” Moreover, it can also help to “lower cardiovascular risk” for both men and women, suggest the researchers. However, “sexual quality” is of utmost importance as it is associated with “happiness and life satisfaction.” So make sure to prioritize physical intimacy with your partner and make sexy time more fun for both of you.
While our current lifestyle may make your sexual life dull and interesting, with a little effort you can add a lot more spice and excitement to your sexual life. Simply pay attention to the sexual needs of your partner and open express your sexual needs to them. Be bold, try new ways, be safe and have fun.
But the list doesn’t end with good sex. Hold on. There are a lot more ways of spending quality time with the one you love so dearly.
Related: Why Does Sex Cause Emotional Attachment?
More ways to spend quality time with your partner
Here are some other fun, exciting and simple ways for spending quality time together with your romantic partner –
7. Instead of canceling plans, attend social events together
8. Plan a movie marathon and watch your favorite movies and new shows
9. Go for a weekend getaway or a staycation at a hotel
10. Play some fun videogames or boardgames as a team or as rivals
11. Go to the gym together and workout as partners
12. Talk about random, silly things when spending quality time together
13. Teach each other something by sharing and exchanging knowledge
14. Talk about your future as a couple and plan for a family together
15. Pursue shared hobbies and passions
16. Surprise one another with thoughtful gifts, stolen kisses and long drives
17. Step out of your comfort zones as a couple and do something exciting
18. Give each other neck massages, hold hands, hug, cuddle to release some oxytocin, the love hormone
19. Spend some moments in silence appreciating each other’s presence and not doing anything at all
20. Do household chores and run errands as a team
Related: How To Practice Healthy Love In Relationships
21. Do something scary and exciting like watching horror movies, playing sports or riding a rollercoaster
22. Tell each other funny jokes and make each other laugh
23. Cook and prepare a meal as a couple
24. Camp in your backyard or go stargazing in the middle of the night
25. Play some good music and dance with each other
26. Go to the mountains & go for a hike together
27. Schedule a technology-free time and focus only on each other
28. Volunteer as a couple and help those in need
29. Be mindful and stay in the present moment together
30. Adopt a pet as a couple and share the love and responsibilities together
Related: How “Playing Around” Can Boost Your Romantic Life
Why spending time with your partner is important
When you are in love with someone, you will naturally want to spend more quality time with them. However, with our hectic daily schedules, stress-filled careers and serious lack of time, we often struggle to manage time for ourselves, let alone for our partners. And this can have a negative impact on our romantic relationship. And this is why spending quality time together becomes especially important for building a healthy, lasting relationship.
Quality time is important for every couple as it allows our relationship to prosper and grow. Regardless of how busy and chaotic our life may be, mindfully spending quality time with your partner can help you develop emotional connection and intimacy. This can be especially important if your or your partner’s love language is spending quality time together.
Here are some of the most common benefits of spending quality time with family –
- Helps to build a healthy, positive and lasting relationship
- Improves physical, mental and emotional intimacy
- Boosts closeness and bonding among couples
- Reduces the risk of breakup, divorce or separation
- Lowers marital boredom and dissatisfaction
- Promotes marital friendship
- Relieves stress and anxiety
- Improves overall health and life satisfaction
Build a healthier, happier relationship
Relationships take work. Managing and spending quality time together is challenging, especially due to our daily hectic schedules. However, when you love your partner and are focused on making them happy, you can find time to dedicate to share with them and build intimacy, connection and closeness.
Try the tips shared above to nurture and nourish your relationship and you surely will be glad you took the effort to create some lasting memories with your partner.
Related: 5 Simple Ways To Beat Holiday Stress And Spend Quality Time With Family
Frequently Asked Questions (FAQs):
How to explain quality time to my boyfriend?
Tell him how much you enjoy his company and that you wish to see him more often and spend more time with him. However, be clear what “quality time” means for you before explaining it to him.
How do you tell your partner you need more quality time?
Be honest and open about your mental, emotional and physical needs. Tell them that the time you spend together needs to be more intentional and distraction-free. While you must be considerate of their busy schedule, make sure to prioritize your relationship.
What does it mean when your partner is not spending time with you?
While it can mean that they are really busy, stressed or focused on a specific goal, like getting a promotion at work, it can also mean that they have lost interest in the relationship. A lack of emotional connection among partners can lead to a lack of quality time.
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