When it comes to love, romance, relationships, and dating, knowing the right ones from the wrong ones can be a bit of a challenge, isn’t it? However, if you keep an eye out for a few, specific traits, then you will be able to understand who’s a keeper, and who isn’t.
You probably have a pretty good idea of the kind of person you’re attracted to. If you met a guy who had similar interests to you, and the physical attraction was there, you’d likely feel you finally found someone you “clicked” with.
But how many times have you met someone you clicked with initially… only to be disappointed later on? This brings us to an important question: what exactly makes a man an ideal life partner for you?
How do you know if your boyfriend or the man sitting across from you on a date can create with you the kind of relationship you deserve? How do you know if you’ll be able to lean on him during difficult times, if he’ll have your back, and if he’ll work with you to resolve the challenges any couple will face? What elevates him from just a fun date to a mate in heart, body, mind, and soul?
Related: If He Says These 13 Things, Your Guy Is A Total Keeper
You don’t want just a date or a boyfriend, you want a “keeper” – someone who will be a true partner to you, for the long haul.
“The right one for you will move mountains to be with you – he won’t hide behind them.” – Mandy Hale
Is Your Date A Keeper?
Keepers exhibit a set of beliefs, actions, and ideals that keep relationships thriving through the good times and the bad. This doesn’t mean you need to compromise on physical attraction or other qualities that are important to you. It means that when you find someone you do click with, you’ll want to make sure they also have the qualities of a keeper.
4 Signs The Guy You’re Dating Is A Keeper
Keeper Trait #1: They’re self-accountable
Keepers are not afraid to question themselves. They clearly put knowledge ahead of ego-preservation, and seek ways to help their relationships stay successful. They ask themselves what they could do to change them for the better. They are not out to win at their partner’s expense.
Yet keepers don’t automatically give up their point of view when challenged. You know them by their combination of ego, strength, and flexibility. They not only hold their integrity under fire but also expect that kind of behavior from people they respect.
Keeper Trait #2: They see humor as a sacred part of relationships
People who find humor in life are more resilient to disappointments. They don’t laugh inappropriately or use humor to mock, but they do maintain the perspective that keeps them aware.
Yet they also have a keen sense of perspective and don’t use humor to lighten up situations that need to stay serious. They have learned the value of timing and a compassionate heart and can process sorrow and joy with the same gentle appreciation for life.
Related: 15 Signs She’s A Keeper
Keeper Trait #3: They’re authentic
Keepers feel responsible for what they say or do. They don’t pretend to be someone they are not, or automatically agree with something that they don’t. They want to be transparent because they don’t play games nor want to participate in any.
They’d rather hear the truth from others, too, even if it’s uncomfortable. Keepers choose partners who value them for their honesty. They don’t take that right lightly, nor do they use their authenticity to unnecessarily point out other’s faults.
Keeper Trait #4: They seek continuous transformation
“In the busyness of living, he is the kind of man that makes a woman pause and write romantic poetry.” – Terry O’Neal
Keepers are committed to learning from the past and projecting the future more effectively. To do that, they willingly seek constant new ways of seeing their lives unfold. They learn from their mistakes and believe in their dreams.
Most people will choose security and predictability over challenge or change. Keepers successfully blend the two. They cherish traditions but always search for better ways to help themselves and others. This way of making them interesting and exciting to be around.
Related: 11 Ways To Spot A Keeper From Player In One Date: Tips From An Expert Celebrity Profiler
The Secret To Attracting A Keeper
“Finding a soulmate is an easy adventure, but the difficult part amidst the game is finding your kind of person.” – Michael Bassey Johnson
Go back and re-read the keeper qualities above.
Now ask yourself: “Do I embody these qualities myself?”
If the answer is yes, congratulations. Because the way to bring a keeper into your life is to live these qualities yourself! The next step is presenting yourself in the dating market in a way that will let others know you’re a keeper.
In my eBook Heroic Love, I’ll teach you how to do just that. You’ll learn the best strategy for zeroing in on your ideal partner – including the 5 important questions you should ask a new partner to help you gauge whether he is emotionally ready for a relationship. His answers might open the door for the most intimate conversation you’ve ever had – and dramatically deepen the bond you share.
I’ll help you cut to the chase and save valuable time so you can start spending your time in the relationship you deserve.
And if you’re feeling disappointed because you don’t possess some or all of the keeper qualities, here’s the great news: now you know what you need to do to get off the dating merry-go-round.
We all want a fairytale relationship in life. When dating a guy, all women go in with a lot of optimism, passion, and hope that he will be The One and this is the relationship they have been looking for so long. As you have had your share of toxic experiences with men, you want to be careful now and commit yourself to only those men who you believe can give you the love and happiness you deserve.
Related: Keepers: 15 Identifying Traits of Successful Long-Term Relationship Partners
Pay attention to the signs of dating a keeper, mentioned above and identify if you can relate to those in your man. You will know if he is worthy of being a keeper. Once you’ve found the right guy, with some effort and attention you will get your happily ever after.
Are you dating a keeper?
Written by Randi Gunther Ph.D.
Originally appeared in Heroic Love
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