There is a thin line that separates privacy from secrecy.
It is essential to maintain it while you are officially in a relationship with someone. At this age, all of us are rather too excited to spill out all our secrets either out of excessive excitement or habit. However, these little things have a huge impact on your relationship. It is indeed very normal to discuss a couple of fights here and there with your BFF but you need to understand the limit to which you can talk about your relationship to other. After all, relationships comprise of two people. Anyone added to these two will make your relationship a public affair which is likely to create tons of misunderstandings. And as far as I know, none of us want our relationship to become a topic of discussion at someone’s dinner table or social gathering.
1- Anything Related To Your sex Life.
If it isn’t your gynaecologist or a relationship counselor, there is no reason why you should be discussing your sex life with a third party. Matters like sex and intimacy should be solely kept private under all circumstances. It doesn’t matter how big or small the info is; it is never right to discuss it with anyone other than your partner. Your bedroom fantasies, problems and everything related to it should be kept only within those four walls and the two people involved in it. Letting out such info, even in anger or heat of the moment is likely to cause huge issues in future. We all can well imagine what even a best friend becomes after a fight. So, keep it exclusively to yourself.
2- Their Flaws
Nobody is perfect. Well, nobody needs to be perfect. And that is what makes us all human. But here is the thing, if a person is vulnerable enough to be their true real self in front of you, make sure you respect that. Yes; I totally understand. There are over 3000 neurons in our body and sometimes the one we love manage to get on each and every single one of them. But then again, it is never right to discuss their weaknesses in front of others. Each of us comes with our own set of demons. And that what you do when you’re in love with someone. You calm their demons down instead of making a public display of them. Your partner is likely to become very careful when they are around you, once they find out that you discuss their conduct in front of others. And that’s the last thing you’d want your lover to feel.
3- Your Fights
Stay low-key about your relationship. There is no point in making it an open book. Yes; if the matters are as serious as mental or physical abuse then don’t hesitate to discuss it with people who can clear your clouded mind and help you make better decisions. But don’t go running to your boy/girl gang after every fight. There is no rainbow without a little rain. Similarly, no relationship exists without fights. Also, no relationship can survive if everything about it is kept out in the open. There are always two sides of a story- your side, your partner’s side and the reality. When you discuss the fights with your friends, it is normal human nature that we only talk about the part where others go wrong. And for your friends, that becomes the reality. You actually end up de-framing your partner when you discuss petty issues in front of your friends.
4- Financial Issues
Ok. Let us face it. We’ve all been in relationships and faced money issues. And it’s ok. But what is not fine is you discussing these financial issues with other people and not your partner. This just proves that both of you aren’t close enough to deal such serious matters by yourselves. And honestly, what is the point of being in a relationship when you can’t even be open to them about such things. Low on cash? Feel like they aren’t splitting the bill and the entire burden is coming on you? TELL THEM.
5- Matters Of Trust
A relationship is built on the foundation of trust. Without it, it’s hollow from within. Once trust is broken, it can never be the same again, no matter how hard you try to rebuild it. You spilling out topics that you are trusted with is like you breaking someone’s trust. Never do that to someone you claim to love. This will push them away from you and they shall no longer trust you with themselves. From the next time, they shall think twice before opening up to you. There is a reason why they trusted you with something they felt was important to be told. Don’t just hand it over to other people carelessly.