I want to fall in love.
When I say this, I mean it in the deepest and most intricate way possible. I am a romantic at heart. Since forever, I’ve watched romances and read love stories, and since forever, an intense yearning has burned in my heart.
I want to fall in love.
I cannot stand the way relationships work in society today. We text, we don’t even go on a date before you ask me out, and then you expect me to kiss you, and the expectations just keep growing. Where is the romance? Where is the love? I don’t want a mere relationship.
I want to fall in love.
What happened to long letters and Polaroid pictures; what happened to shyly peeking at one another through the shelves of an old bookstore? What happened to nervous laughter, to first dates where we start out full of anxiety and wind up sitting in the diner talking until closing time about the world and our dreams and everything in between? What happened to shy smiles and sweaty palms and holding hands and I’m not even that cold but you’re wrapping your jacket around my shoulders anyway? What happened to blushing confessions and sweet first kisses and taking things slow? What happened to falling in love?
I want to fall in love.
I do not want to dive head first into the sad excuse that society calls love today. I want you to spend time with me and talk with me for hours and respect me and tell me your dreams. I want you to throw pebbles at my window at 3AM because you know I’m awake and you miss me. I don’t want jewelry and new clothes; I want flowers you picked from the side of the road because they’re my favorite and as soon as you saw them, you just had to stop the car for them. I want a cute little stuffed animal you saw in the store and bought because koalas remind you of me and it was only a dollar and you just had to give it to me. I want cute little sticky notes placed in my books because you know I overwhelm myself and seeing them will make me relax and take a breath. I want to write you a million letters and take a million pictures of you and of us. I want to trace the lines of your hands with my fingertips like the map of our future until I know the paths by heart. I want to curl up late at night with only the light of the lamp and you next to me as we take turns reading aloud to one another and you fall asleep to the sound of my voice. I want the soft things, the sweet things, the gentle things, the little things.
I want to fall in love.
And when I know all of the small things about you, and when I’ve begun to enjoy your company even more than my own, and when I cannot count the times we’ve laughed together on both hands, and when the constant sense of loneliness that plagues my heart begins to fade, and when I finally begin to truly trust you and try my hardest to open up to you, you’ll begin to understand what I mean when I say
That I want to fall in love.
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