This advice is not like other advice you might read online such as wear sexy clothes, flick your hair or other superficial advice that have only a hit-and-miss success rate at best and can make you look desperate and unclassy at worst. Instead, I’m going to show you how to get a mans attention using a psychological approach to get into his mind.
When we like/love someone, our natural inbuilt response is to try and get the attention of that person in order to create a gateway to bring them into our lives. After all, if the person doesn’t even notice us …then they can hardly fall in love with us. So we must first find a way of getting into that person’s mind even if it is at a distance, to begin with, it. But, this is where most people make a mistake
…a BIG mistake.
What mistake?
Some people confuse attracting someone …with attracting attention. And this is the wrong approach. It’s easy to attract a guys attention …but that doesn’t mean that that attention will cause him to be attracted to you.
Attracting someone’s attention in general by doing something unusual (or even by doing something stupid) might get that person attention for a few moments …but this attention is short-lived and doesn’t the equal attraction. The same goes for attracting a guys attention using superficial advice such as wear sexy clothes and so on.
While these might attract his attention, these will not necessarily attract him in the sense of making him fall in love with you (which is what you want him to do). You want the guy’s heart – not his eyes for a few moments. And that’s assuming he doesn’t see through the act of flicking your hair etc. as a superficial act that makes you look insecure and desperate to him.
In which case you could find yourself in a worse position than when you started trying to get his attention in the first place.
So how do I attract his attention to get at his heart?
You need to move past generalized superficial ways of attracting the attention of the guy you like …and instead move on to laser targeted ways of attracting him.
Each of us has in our mind a subliminal guide to our perfect partner. This guide is built up, bit by bit, in our subconscious from the moment we are born. Psychologists call this subliminal guide our Lovemap. And a large part of our lovemap is constructed as a result of our unmet needs. If we have a certain unmet need and we meet a potential partner that compensates for our unmet need, our subconscious recognizes this new person as a way of “fixing” or “compensating” for our unmet need. The subconscious then looks for a way to bring this person into our lives and the way it does this is to make us fall in love with the person who looks like they can satisfy our unmet need.
Right now the guy you are trying to get the attention of has a subconscious radar which is looking for someone who can compensate for his unmet needs (and his subconscious will cause him to fall in love with the person who achieves this or even partly achieves this). Therefore, you should try to get his attention in such a way as to display yourself to his subconscious as someone who can compensate for his unmet needs …rather than trying to get his attention in general by flicking your hair or some other such trick.
An Example Of What Might Be On His Subconscious Radar
In order to find out what is on a guys subconscious radar, you need to do some detective work. This can be done in several ways such as:
1. Examining the content of his Facebook page.
2. Examining his hobbies and what has attracted him to these.
3. Examining major life setbacks he may have suffered.
4. Examining his relationship with his family and friends.
5. Asking him carefully worded questions that are designed to get him to inadvertently reveal his unmet needs without him even realizing it.
6. Examining his personality type and what types of needs people of such a personality types tend to be looking for.
Let’s say for example that a guy is really into muscle building and you find out that he was once bullied in school and this affected him. There is a strong chance that his muscle building is a compensating mechanism to make up for the fact that he was bullied in school and was not able to deal with it.
Such a guy wants to feel strong. So the way to get the attention of this kind of guy would be to compliment him on his physique and tell him he looks strong. Then go one step further and compliment him on his mental strength too. In the same way that the guy got attached to muscle building at the gym to compensate for his unmet need, he will begin to grow attached to you because you too are a mechanism to compensate for his unmet need. You are making him feel strong just like muscle building does.
Slowly the guy will begin to feel drawn to you emotionally and won’t know why. He will have a sense of feeling happy and complete in your company and attribute this to love and think it was “fate” or “destiny” that brought the two of you together.
But there is also something else you need to watch out for:
In this example, you would also want to come across as someone who is strong yourself. Remember, this guy is looking for a way to bring strength into his life. Muscle building is one such way. If you were to display yourself as someone who is helpless and unable to cope with things in your life, the guy would be turned off as his subconscious would only see you as another source of weakness to add to his life (in addition to his weakness of being bullied in his past and not being able to deal with it).
If you attempt superficial tricks such as licking your lips to get his attention and don’t pull these off convincingly, he may see through what you’re doing and view you as someone who is weak and has to put on a false front to get peoples attention. He himself is putting on a false front (by muscle building to compensating for his past) so he would not be turned on by someone who he also recognizes as putting on a false front. He would equate putting on a false front as a sign of weakness, not strength.
By John Alex Clark – Relationship & Life Coach
For more information on relationship advice, check out John Alex Clarks website “RelationshipPsychology.com”.
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