Histrionic Narcissists: How They Use Sex And Lies As Weapons Of Manipulation

 / 

,
histrionic narcissist 1

Just like narcissistic people, anyone who suffers from histrionic personality disorder has the ability to destroy someone’s life, along with their mental health, peace, confidence, and everything they believe in.




Key Points:

Cluster B personality disorders consist of narcissism, borderline, histrionic, and anti-social personality disorders.

Negative personality traits can also overlap between specific diagnostic criteria.

An individual does not need to have a clinical diagnosis to showcase negative personality traits.

Cluster B disorders are a collection of negative traits organized into four classifications: narcissism, histrionic, borderline, and antisocial personality disorders. Personality disorders as a whole are described as enduring, maladaptive patterns of thoughts and/or behaviors that deviate from one’s culture (APA, 2013). These thoughts, beliefs, and actions are inflexible and overwhelmingly negative, and pervasive.

Despite our best efforts, we all have negative traits and unhealthy habits. What makes a trait pathological is the inability and unwillingness to change and improve. Even the kindest person on the road to sainthood can lash out in a fit of anger and ego. The act of being human comes with the free will of thoughts and actions. We all have the innate ability to be a narcissist; however, what separates non-narcissists from the crowd is the element of self-control and choice.



Related: Histrionic Personality Disorder: How This Type Of Narcissism Works In Women

We can choose to use people for our own intentions and then discard them; we choose to lie and hide; we choose to cheat and sneak around. This is one reason why the diagnosis traits for Cluster B disorders are so low: the individuals with these problems do not seek help because they don’t believe they need help in the first place.

Of course, to be clinically diagnosed with a specific disorder one must have a specific number of signs and symptoms. An individual can have traits of narcissism but not be officially classified as a narcissist.




Narcissism or narcissistic personality disorder (NPD) is most easily identified by the individual’s lack of empathy and overwhelming ego.

However, many victims of narcissism report their abuser’s sexuality and emotions as being sharpened into weapons. These overtly sexual and dramatic individuals have what the American Psychiatric Association calls histrionic personality disorder (2013).

Whereas narcissistic personality disorder is predominantly diagnosed in men, histrionic disorder (HPD) is diagnosed primarily in women. As with most personality disorders, histrionic individuals cannot be cured by prescription medications. Only the co-morbidities, such as depression and anxiety, can be treated. So whereas the depression can be lifted with the right treatment plan, it won’t do anything for the person’s egotistical actions or cold behaviors. The same goes for histrionic personality disorder.

Histrionic personality disorder has several similarities to narcissism but also distinct differences. The use of theatrics, emotions, and sexuality stands in stark contrast to the cold and egotistical narcissist. However, many of the hallmarks overlap.

Like positive personality traits such as openness or conscientiousness, negative personality traits can also overlap across disorders. Just because individual displays several traits of narcissism doesn’t mean they also can’t act with traits of the histrionic disorder.

Histrionic individuals have wildly exaggerated emotions and an overwhelming need to be noticed. In fact, the term histrionic means “dramatic” and “theatrical.” These people are well-known drama queens and busybodies who can’t handle being left outside of the circle of attention. The self-esteem of histrionics relied heavily on the opinions of others and can wax and wane according to their reputation.




When they fall from grace, histrionics are more at risk for depression, crying fits, and desperation to turn the story around in which they are the victim. Narcissists, on the other hand, may become angry and challenging and generally be stupefied by negative public opinion. They were—up until this moment—untouchable. If narcissists keep their negative self-image hidden and covered up by an overblown ego, then histrionics wear their self-centered hearts on their sleeves.

Both narcissists and histrionics may use threats of suicide as an attention grab or a way to obtain sympathy and forgiveness. Neither type of individual can have a normal relationship for very long.

Histrionics wear their partners out with their rapid mood swings; narcissists break down their partners with abuse and confrontation; both classifications generally exhaust the ability of friends and lovers to fulfill their grandiose demands for attention.

Related: What Is Histrionic Personality Disorder and How To Manage This Intense Need for Attention

Sexuality As A Weapon

A major distinction between histrionic and narcissism is the use of sexuality. Narcissists are known to be more prone to cheating in their personal relationships, but histrionics are far more overtly sexually exploitative and provocative. Histrionics use sex and seduction to solve virtually any problem that arises and bring the attention back to them; narcissists use their sex as a method of control.

A narcissist cheats because they feel they can, they deserve it, or they need something done for them in return. In contrast, a histrionic will engage in cheating to fulfill a desperate need for attention that they believe they aren’t getting from their partner. Regardless of whether the person is a narcissist or a histrionic, the cheating is not their fault.

narcissist and histrionic

Jack recalls when he caught his ex-wife cheating. “She had been cheating for years with different men. She said it was because I didn’t pay enough attention to her and these men did, and they made her feel beautiful and worthy. The cheating was my fault because I didn’t make her feel beautiful.”




Anthony’s ex-wife, in comparison, attempted to deny the charges when presented with the evidence of her cheating but also took on the role of the wronged party. Narcissists are expert liars and actors and can maintain their false persona much better and for longer periods of time than a histrionic. Anthony recalls that eventually, she began flaunting her cheating instead of being embarrassed by it.

“Cheating wasn’t her character flaw; it was mine somehow. She used it to belittle me and make herself the poor victim,” Anthony says.

Again, keep in mind that to be diagnosed a histrionic, one must check a specific number of boxes of the diagnostic criteria. Being confident and in control of your sexuality does not make you histrionic; likewise, being overly dramatic is also not a way to diagnose someone as histrionic. Someone can be sexual and seductive without being histrionic, and not all cheaters are suffering from a histrionic personality disorder.

Female narcissists are particularly dangerous and use their sexuality as a weapon to straddle the fine line between NPD and HPD. Histrionic narcissists use their seductiveness and even reproductive abilities to gain control of a relationship, maintain the upper hand, or just simply hurt someone.

Related: The Female Facade: Female Narcissists May Be Statistically Uncommon, But Highly Dangerous




Histrionic women cross into the narcissistic territory through abuse of power and gender roles and the exploitation of relationships. Using children, pregnancy, and other family members to obtain what they want is never out of the realm of possibilities for a histrionic narcissist.

References:

American Psychiatric Association. (2013). DSM-5. APA Publishing.

Kristy Lee Hochenberger can be contacted for life coaching at ExcelsiorLifeCoaching@gmail.com and facebook.com/excelsiorcoaching


Written By Kristy Lee Hochenberger
Originally Appeared On Psychology Today   
histrionic narcissist pinop
histrionic narcissist pin


— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *

Up Next

The Profile Of A Narcissist Attractor

Profile Of A Narcissist Attractor: 9 Clear Traits They Like

Ever wonder why narcissists seem drawn to you? Could it be your kindness, empathy, or people-pleasing tendencies? Explore how it’s making you a narcissist attractor in this world.

Often a partner of a narcissist is a narcissist attractor, but may not realize it until they’ve attracted more than one narcissist. They may have a narcissist in their family of origin, but not always, and not all children of narcissists end up with one. Not all partners of narcissists were raised in unhappy families. 

People who grew up loving and trusting their parents are also susceptible because they expect others to be loving and trustworthy. Thus, they are less guarded and naive to narcissistic manipulative tactics.

Similarly, it’s untrue that narcissists loo

Up Next

Is She Lying About Sleeping With Someone? 10 Signs That Expose The Truth

Is She Is Lying About Sleeping With Someone? 10 Clear Signs

Sometimes, you just get that gut feeling that something isn’t right. Maybe the details don’t add up, or her behavior has changed in ways you can’t ignore. If you suspect that your girl is lying about sleeping with someone else, let’s not jump to conclusions but notice patterns that don’t make sense.

So how to tell if a girl is lying about sleeping with someone? Well, lying leaves traces and even the best liars slip up, whether it’s through their words, body language, or sudden changes in habits. Here are some telltale signs your partner is sleeping with someone else.

This might reveal the truth (if she is lying)…

Up Next

7 Signs You’re Unknowingly Being Mean To Your Partner

Being Mean To Your Partner? 7 Toxic Habits To Watch For

Being mean to your partner doesn’t always look like full-blown fights or throwing personal insults around. More often than not, it’s those little, unintentional habits that slowly chip away at your relationship, and by the time you notice them, it’s already too late.

You might be under the impression that you are simply joking around or being honest with them, but have you ever asked your partner if they feel the same way as you? Maybe there are signs you are the toxic partner, but you have never really stopped and thought about it.

We all screw up sometimes, but recognizing the problem is the first step to fixing it. So, let’s break down some of the sneaky ways you might be being mean to your partner—without even realizing it.

Up Next

9 Toxic Fighting Habits That Are Slowly Killing Your Relationship

Toxic Signs of Unhealthy Arguments You Need to Watch Out For

Every couple argues. Whether it’s about money, chores, or parenting, disagreements are part of any relationship. But when arguments turn into yelling matches, silent treatments, or hurtful words, they can cause more harm than good. These are signs of unhealthy arguments—ones that push you apart instead of bringing you closer.

It’s important to remember that you and your partner are two different people. You won’t always see eye to eye, and that’s okay. In fact, your differences can help you learn from each other and grow as a couple. But only if you fight in a way that’s respectful and productive.

When handled the right way, disagreements can actually strengthen your relationship. The key is to listen with an open mind, express yourself without attacking, and work together toward a solution. Of course, that’s easier said than done. In the heat

Up Next

7 Subtle Signs You’re Practically Gentle Parenting Your Partner

Clear Signs You Are Parenting Your Partner: Are You?

Do you find yourself in a relationship where you feel less like you’re with a partner and more like you’re raising a child? Constantly teaching, guiding, and hand-holding can be draining, especially when you’re the one doing all the emotional labor, and parenting your partner. 

If this sounds familiar, below are the signs you might be shouldering too much and why it’s time to rethink this relationship.

Read More Here:

Up Next

Is Your Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? 9 Ways to Help Her Break Free

Daughter in a Controlling Relationship? Things You Can Do

Have you ever had a very strong gut feeling that your daughter might not be in a healthy relationship? Or that she is in a relationship with a controlling boyfriend? Today we are going to talk about what you can do, when you have a daughter in a controlling relationship.

Yeah, it’s a tough pill to swallow. Bossy boyfriends sneakily isolate, manipulate and dim the light in the people they date. And if your daughter is dating someone like this, then it’s understandable how tough it can be to watch that.

However, there’s always light at the end of the tunnel – as her mother, you can help her break free from her controlling boyfriend. This isn’t about swooping in like a superhero; it’s about being smart, supportive, and steady.

First, let’s start with trying to understand who a controlling boyfriend

Up Next

8 Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Myths About Gaslighting Exposed: What You Really Need to Know

Gaslighting is often misunderstood, and myths about gaslighting only adds to the confusion. Understanding this and trying to break down the most common misconceptions can help us uncover the truth about this manipulative behavior.

KEY POINTS

There’s a difference between casual phrases and patterns of manipulative behavior.

Gaslighting can have serious consequences and leave emotional and psychological pain.

Recognizing gaslighters can save you a lot of emotional pain and doubt.

It’s concerning how certain psychological terms can quickly become f