6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable

 / 

, ,
miserable

Misery, as painful as it is, can be comfortable in its familiarity. It’s easy to sink into despair. Picking yourself up and forging onward is a bit more daunting. The problem is, a lot of us play a passive role in our own lives and tend to feel miserable.

We let circumstances and situations dictate who we are and how we feel, and then find solace in the fact that it’s not our fault. In life, we can’t control what happens to us, but we can control how we react to things, and that is oftentimes the difference between feeling free and happy or trapped and miserable.

Happiness doesn’t just happen. It’s not something that shows up at your door one day as a consolation prize for years of pain and suffering. It takes some work, both on the inside and out. Misery is easy because frankly, life is hard. Stress is inevitable, and so is heartbreakrejection, disappointment, criticism, and feelings of defeat.

Being miserable is a combination of how you live your life and how you process the inevitable things that happen. A lot of us don’t even realize all the ways we’re creating our own misery. And with that, here are six guaranteed ways to be absolutely miserable.

Related: 8 Things Missing When You’re Miserable In Spite Of Having It All

6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable

1. Play the Victim

As I said, we can’t always control the things that happen to us. The only thing within our control is how we respond. You are the one who gets to decide if you will be the triumphant leading lady or the tragic heroine in the story of your life. Things are going to happen to you. Bad things probably already have happened to you.

When you blame everyone else for your struggles, all you’re really doing is feeding into your own feelings of misery and helplessness. Your emotional well-being is your responsibility, and you get to decide what has the power to destroy you.

Feeling like a victim occurs when you live in a state of reflexive reaction; that is, instantly reacting to things that happen rather than thoughtfully responding. If you reflexively react, then anytime someone speaks harshly or looks at you disapprovingly or criticizes you (even if it’s constructively), or doesn’t interact with you by giving you the level of approval and affection you think they should, you will feel hurt and upset like they have wronged you like everyone is out to get you.

When you take a step back and separate yourself from your initial emotional response, you will see things more clearly. You’ll realize that not everything is about you, and most of the time when someone is being distant or harsh it has to do with something going on in their own life and is not a reflection on you or their feelings toward you in any way.

2. Worry About Everything

Worrying is a tricky animal. It seems like a productive pursuit, yet it doesn’t actually result in anything other than putting you in a negative headspace. A lot of us get caught up in solving problems that haven’t yet happened.

I definitely struggle with this one, and anytime I find myself worrying about some terrible future outcome I tell myself: “Don’t solve a problem until there is a problem to solve.

Yes, there is a chance that you will lose your job, that you will face financial difficulty, that your boyfriend will leave, that your husband will cheat, that you’ll get the flu–there are a million bad things that could potentially happen, but what’s the point of worrying about them unless they are happening?

Instead, focus on living in the present and have faith that should problems arise down the line, you will be able to handle them.

Related: If Happiness Is A Choice Why Are So Many People Miserable?

3. Compare Yourself to Others

Despite what you see on Facebook and Instagram, no one lives a perfect, problem-free life. If you constantly compare yourself to others, you will always feel less than. A lot of us experience real feelings of negativity because of someone else’s success- an engagement, a raise, a dream job, an amazing (and worse yet, affordable!) apartment in NYC, a new designer handbag.

The funny thing about that is their success had absolutely no direct impact on your life–nothing was taken away from you (unless it was actually taken away, like someone stealing your job or your man or your handbag), and your life is no different now than it was before their success.

Comparing ourselves to others is a breeding ground for feelings of envy and jealousy, which are the ugliest of vices. Some people will have more than you, some will have less. Everyone’s life is made up of a unique combination of abundance and need, and everyone is just trying to bridge the gap and attain a happy balance.

Instead of looking at what other people have that you want and comparing yourself to someone else, compare yourself only to yourself. Reflect on how you have grown and changed and how you are better than you were.

4. Listen to Your Inner Critic

All of us are forced to coexist with an inner critic who tries to undermine us. It can come in the form of a quiet whisper or overpowering shout depending on what you’ve been through in life. The inner critic is the one who tells you you’re not worthy, that this guy will leave, that you’ll never be successful, that you will never be good enough.

But this voice only has as much power as you give it. This inner critic is not reality, it is a product born from a painful or traumatic past. When you treat it as the ultimate authority of who you are, you will block yourself from ever being fully happy and at ease.

Thoughts are real forces; they create a pulse that permeates your being and they can create real chemical changes. When you feed into your inner critic and let her call the shots, you are opening the floodgates for negativity to come pouring in, and this impacts everything- your mood, your energy, your vibe, the way you interact with others, the way you interact with yourself.

Practice noticing your thoughts and identifying when your inner critic is speaking. Then, simply pluck her out like a weed or tell her that her opinions are not valid or needed.

Related: 5 Ways To Stop Your Inner Critic In Its Tracks

5. Stay Stuck in the Past

When you ruminate over events from the past, you are taking yourself out of the present and engaging with a reality that is no longer relevant. We are all works in progress, we all make mistakes and have lessons to learn (and sometimes relearn as many times as necessary).

Staying stuck in the past won’t change or fix anything. All it will do is produce feelings of pain and remorse. You may also block yourself from finding true happiness and satisfaction (this is especially true when it comes to holding onto thoughts and memories of a guy who broke your heart).

Instead of living life looking through the rearview mirror, focus on what you learned from the experience and try to really internalize it so you can move on, feeling confident that history won’t repeat itself.

the past
Staying Stuck In The Past Can Make You Miserable

6. Never See the Good

Something good happens and you write it off as a fluke. Something bad happens and it’s because you’re incompetent, stupid, lazy, bad, wrong. Throughout the day, some things will go right and others will go wrong. And there won’t always be an equal balance, sometimes it’ll skew more towards wrong (and the best days are when it all skews right!).

The point is, you get to choose what to focus on. You can dwell on the bad and complain about it to anyone who will listen, or you can reflect on the good. Learning to express gratitude is one of the most fundamental skills when it comes to your happiness and well-being. It’s also important to note that when you focus on the bad, you tend to attract more bad things.

When you shift your focus–and see the proverbial glass as half full–everything shifts toward the better.

Related: The Healing Power Of Gratitude

Got any other surefire ways to be miserable? Or straight-up tips to be happy? Tell us in the comments!

Follow Sabrina on Instagram and subscribe to her YouTube Channel – https://www.youtube.com/anewmodechannel

Written by Sabrina Alexis
Originally appeared on A New Mode

guranteed ways be miserable pin
6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Feel Miserable
guranteed ways miserable pin
6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Feel Miserable
Negative Thinking Pin
6 Types Of Negative Thinking That Makes You Miserable

— Share —

— About the Author —

Leave a Reply



Up Next

5 Minimalistic Zodiac Signs Who Believe in ‘Less Is More’

Minimalistic Zodiac Signs That Love Minimalism

Do you love simplicity or getting rid of things that you don’t need? Does the minimalist lifestyle make you happy? Then, this article will tell you the top minimalistic zodiac signs and what sets them apart when it comes to simplicity and clarity in life.

Minimalism is not just not a trend but a way of living which brings order, calmness and efficiency in life. Some people are born with this design of living. Apparently, there are five astrological signs who embody this concept more than others.

So let’s find out which minimalistic zodiac signs find joy in “simple living, high thinking”…



Up Next

15+ Dress for Success Quotes to Boost Your Confidence and Inspire Your Life

Dress For Success Quotes To Inspire Confidence In Life

What we wear isn’t just about fashion—it’s a reflection of our mindset and ambition. Take a look at some of the “dress for success quotes” to influence confidence and, ultimately, success!

As fashion icon Edith Head once said, “You can have anything you want in life if you dress for it.” We also believe that there is a powerful link between self-presentation and professional outcomes.

So, whether you put on a well-tailored suit showing authority or groom yourself that exudes creativity, fashion communicates a message to the world about who you are and what you



Up Next

Being ‘Boysober’: What This New Celibacy Trend Means

What Is Boysober? Benefits Of This New Trend

In a world where dating and relationships are often considered essential pursuits, the concept of ‘boysober’ emerges as a deliberate departure from the norm. 

What Is Boysober Meaning?

The term was invented by Brooklyn comedian Hope Woodard. Boysober meaning is quite easy: abstaining from romance, irrespective of the person’s gender, as a way of having some rest from dating.

It is usually a year-long commitment to abstain from all aspects of dating, including intimacy, and challenges societal expectations and promotes a unique form of self-care.



Up Next

Anxiety Attack vs Panic Attack: How They Differ and Why It Matters?

Anxiety Attack vs Panic Attack: Must-Know Differences

Do you ever feel overwhelmed by sudden intense fear? Well, it’s important to understand the difference between an anxiety attack vs panic attack. Because whatever you are feeling is serious for your health and you need proper medical attention.

In modern life’s fast-paced rhythm, intense emotional overwhelm can strike unexpectedly. While both involve intense feelings of fear and discomfort, they differ in duration, triggers, and symptoms.

Recognizing these distinctions empowers individuals to seek appropriate support and strategies for managing these distressing but manageable experiences in their journey toward mental well-being.

This blog is going to be a handbook for those who are struggling with identifying panic attack signs, coping with anxiety attacks, and managing them. Keep following.



Up Next

Is Lifestyle Creep Sneaking Up on You? 2 Key Signs to Reassess Your Spending Habits

Lifestyle Creep: Important Questions to Ask Yourself

Are you familiar with the term lifestyle creep? Even if you are not, you may be a part of it unknowingly. Wondering why? Because it comes very subtly with the upgradation of our lifestyle.

You get a raise or a bonus, and suddenly, your daily coffee turns into a pricey latte, your old car feels outdated, and that budget-friendly vacation destination no longer seems appealing. This is the concept of lifestyle inflation that may give you a hard time eventually.

Hence, overcoming such spending disorders is possible with careful planning of your budget and maintaining a few strategies. If you are also finding the solution for your unnecessary spending habit, keep following.

Are Lifestyle Creep and Spending O



Up Next

Yoga for Seniors: 7 Effective Yoga Poses that Older People Can Do

Yoga for Seniors: Effective Yoga Poses

If you’re an elderly person looking to improve your overall health and well-being, consider giving the gentle art of yoga for seniors a try.

Yoga is rooted deeply in Indian culture and is a pathway to vitality and well-being. It is one of the most effective holistic healing processes. It doesn’t matter whether you’re five or eighty-five, yoga offers benefits for everyone, as long as your body permits it.

So, why do people often skip yoga in their golden years? Sometimes it’s because of the physical challenges that come with aging. In this blog, we’re going to explore some gentle yet effective yoga poses tailored specifically for senior citizens.



Up Next

Are Your Eyes At Risk? The Shocking Truth About Smartphone Vision Syndrome!

Harmful Smartphone Vision Syndrome Symptoms To Know About

Have you ever had blurred vision, sore eyes, or a headache after using your phone for a long time, particularly in the dark? If yes, then you might have Smartphone Vision Syndrome (SVS). Let’s find out more about it.

In this era of technology, we heavily rely on our smartphones. Whether it’s checking emails and scrolling through social media or streaming movies and playing video games – these handheld devices are ubiquitous. However, even though they keep us engaged and connected, there is one thing that we sacrifice unknowingly: our eye health.

In a recent case, Smartphone Vision Syndrome caused a woman to have bright flashes of light and momentary blindness. Mostly when she woke up to go to the bathroom at night, she couldn’t see anything for some seconds.