“Willingness is a large part of conscious relationships. You’re willing to face your fears, you’re willing to face your pain, you’re willing to celebrate your joys, you’re willing to go into the unknown…you’re willing for the sake of the relationship.” – Stefanos Sifandos
So you’re over there hurting…deeply.
You miss your last relationship.
You miss the company.
You miss the expectation that you have plans.
And you especially miss having someone to talk to and say good night to.
But then there are those days (or moments) where you suddenly have this confidence that you’re so much better off without them.
That there were things that just didn’t work in your last relationship.
Like the fact that you were the one holding up the relationship just to keep it going.
Or how you held your breath a lot just to avoid rocking the boat, so to speak.
Or how a lot of your needs were NOT met despite being with them for so long.
In essence, there were some fundamental things that were off or missing in your last relationship.
So today I’m asking you an honest question: Were you just in a relationship, or were you in a conscious relationship?
This is the million-dollar question.
You see, when we can align with what we deserve (which is a mutual, loving, conscious relationship) then it can make it a lot easier to let go of a one-sided relationship.
Today I’m introducing what it means to be in a conscious relationship, because I was right there with you, wanting one without even fully knowing conscious relationships exist in real life. And through this same inner work I teach is how I met my fiance and I’m inspired to share what I’ve learned along this journey in hopes this resonates for even just one person reading.
So What Exactly Is A “Conscious” Relationship?
For me, being in a conscious relationship means that both people in the relationship are doing the inner work to heal and are coming together through willingness and choosing each other every single day.
Well What’s The Difference Between A Conscious Relationship, And A Regular Relationship?
Before I really started doing inner work in 2016 to heal through my breakup (before I met my spiritual teacher), I wasn’t exactly conscious that I wasn’t having unconscious relationships. (That was a mouthful).
I have an anxious attachment style, and little did I know that I gravitated towards those with avoidant attachment styles. I thought I could “fix” their avoidance, or that I could change myself to seem more calm, cool, and collected (you know, what I assumed was “wife material” and not “needy” at all).
I tried to change myself, or change their perception of me. I wasn’t free to be me.
And being free to be ourselves (our authentic, true selves) is what invites conscious partners into our lives. When I was deeply confronted with this reality that I wasn’t allowing (keyword here) myself to be my full self in fear of (not being successful enough, smart enough, cool enough), that’s when everything changed for the better.
How Can We Start Becoming More Conscious And Attracting Conscious Love?
It all starts with identifying where your fear is holding you back. Fear is a conscious relationship destroyer, and it’s sneaky as heck. Let me explain.
Let’s say you’re the person who did EVERYTHING for your ex (you jumped through hoops for them, said yes to something they asked for even when you were busy, did so much and they didn’t say thank you nearly as often as you’d liked) and yet they still ended things with you.