Getting through a breakup or divorce is definitely one of life’s most difficult challenges.
Even though you saw it coming, the ending of a relationship is a major change and along with it comes a grieving process. Understand that you are not going to wake up in a few days and feel A-Okay. There is no defined timeline, but the one thing you can count on is this – that with each and everyday things will get better if you avoid these pitfalls:
1) Slam your ex on social media
I know, using social media has become like brushing your teeth these days – but seriously, talking badly about your ex on your social channels only makes YOU look bad. After all, you did choose to be in a relationship with this person. If you find that writing out your feelings helps move you through the grieving process, grab your journal. If support is what you are looking for, call a friend and go for coffee and get some real support. Although it can be very tempting and you may feel a deep need to prove to the world YOU did not fail, I promise you this is a very bad idea. Be a class act. Protect your karma. Take the high road.
2) Get stuck down memory lane
Don’t listen to “your song” on an instant loop. It’s not going to help — trust me, I have tried it — and it only brings you down to a really sad place. Pick a new song. Make it a personal anthem just for you. You do not have to have a bomb fire, but maybe pack up the things that remind you of your ex.
3) Attempt to become ‘just friends with benefits’
You might be thinking that ‘just’ having sex with your ex has a lot of benefits. They already know you and how to make you feel good, it seems less ick than a one night stand hookup and after all, you are a grown up and have needs – right? Wrong! Although your mind is likely trying to justify why this is a good idea, your heart is likely just trying to hold on. Don’t do it. It will not end well. Masturbation is your best option for now.
4) Play the blame game
Spending a lot of time blaming your ex – or yourself is a waste of time. And it just takes you deeper into the negative energy vortex. Every relationship we engage in teaches us something about ourselves and makes us better for our next one. Think about what you learned, how you have been changed, and feel gratitude for the experience. It moved you closer to the love you truly deserve. Focus now on healing.
5) Numb your pain
Here’s the thing about grief – you have to feel it to heal it. The interesting thing is that your physiology naturally protects you. You are naturally numbed to only experience what you can handle at any given time in any given situation. Therefore, applying any other drug of choice – alcohol, drugs, or a rebound relationship only serves to avoid the necessary healing to create success in love. Work out, go for a walk or dance it out. Up the natural endorphins and feel good chemicals in your body in healthy ways rather than prolonging your pain by avoiding.
Most of my clients struggle in love as the result of past wounds. Breakups can be a part of this. If you are ready to move forward in a proactive way and get the love you really desire contact me today for a Complimentary Discovery Session where we can get you off to a fresh and real start.
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Written by Diane Taylor
Originally appeared on ElevateLove.com
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