And at times I am Caught between the two.
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Words have the power to uplift and heal us. That’s why you should say thank you instead of sorry. Replacing such words will change your life!
Experience the uplifting and healing magic as your language shapes a positive reality!
Unless you’re Canadian, you’re not doing anyone any favors by saying “sorry” all the time. New York-based artist Yao Xiao takes this a step further in her comics, where she suggests we stop saying sorry and start saying thank you instead.
The Internet is full of empty promises and terrible art, but this idea is worth paying attention to; see how using “thank you” instead of “sorry” plays out below.
Why You Should Say Thank You Instead Of Sorry?
While saying sorry is polite and kind but, there is a different kind of power in saying Thank you.
Saying “thank you” is used to express gratitude and appreciation for others. And how we interact to people is greatly influenced by how much gratitude we exhibit and how well we can say “thank you
So, here’s what you should do this Thanksgiving…
Replace “I’m sorry” with “Thank you” in this season of gratefulness and gratitude.
Related: How To Stop Feeling Sorry For Toxic People
Words have immense power. So, instead of saying, “sorry, I’m late”, learn to say, “Thank you for your patience”.
Don’t say, “Sorry I’m not making a lot of sense”, instead you can say, “Thank you for understanding me.” It will make a huge difference.
Related: 11 Things You Don’t Have To Apologize For In A Relationship
Instead of saying, “sorry, I’m just venting” or “sorry I’m just rambling”, learn to say, “Thank you for listening to me.”
And when you want to say, “sorry, I take up so much space”, replace it with, “thank you for appreciating my presence.”
Related: The Narcissist’s Apology: Sorry, Not Sorry
And when you feel down, instead of saying, “sorry, I’m such a disappointment”, say, “thank you for believing in me.”
Related: Why do I feel sorry for my abuser? Why do I love the one who hurts me?
Do you know apologies kill your confidence? To better understand this watch out the video:
So, what are you waiting for? Stop apologizing and start thanking!
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The problem is women think he will change, he won’t. And men make the mistake of thinking she will never leave, she will.
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Thought Cloud Quotes, Life Quotes
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When you stop chasing the wrong things you give
the right things a chance to catch you.
As Maria Robinson once said, “Nobody can go back and start a new beginning, but anyone can start today and make a new ending.” Nothing could be closer to the truth. But before you can begin this process of transformation you have to stop doing the things that have been holding you back. You may not even be aware of these things that you have to stop doing to yourself.
Related: Hard times without the right support can leave you miserable and lonely. You are responsible to know if your habits are similar to truly miserable people and you must take action for a better and more fruitful life. Here are 15 Habits of Truly Miserable People.
Here are some ideas to get you started:
1. Spend no more time with the wrong people.
Life is too short to spend time with people who absorb all the happiness out of you. If someone genuinely wants you in their life, they’ll make time and room for you. You shouldn’t have to fight for a spot in their life. Never ever insist yourself to someone who can’t appreciate your effort and continuously overlooks your worth. And never forget, it’s not the people that stand by your side when you’re at your best, but the ones who stand right beside you when you’re at your worst that are your real friends.
2. Stop running away from your problems.
Face them – head-on. No, nobody ever said it would be easy. There is not a single person in the world that is capable of flawlessly handling every punch thrown at them. We aren’t supposed to be able to instantly solve our problems. That’s just not how we’re made. In fact, we’re actually made to get upset, sad, hurt, stumble and fall. That’s the whole purpose of living – to face problems, learn, adapt, and solve them over the course of time. In the end, this is what ultimately molds us into the person we become.
3. Love yourself enough to stop lying to yourself.
You can and you will lie to anyone else in the world, but you can’t lie to yourself. Our lives improve only when we take chances, and the first and toughest chance we can take is to be honest to God with ourselves.
4. Stop putting your own needs on the back burner.
The most painful phase in life is losing yourself in the process of loving someone too much, and forgetting that you are your own individual. Yes, help others; but don’t forget to help yourself too. If there was ever a moment to follow your passion and follow something that matters to you, that moment is now.
5. Let go of trying to be someone you’re not.
One of the greatest challenges in life is simply being yourself in a world that’s always trying to make you like everyone else. Someone will always be prettier, someone will always be smarter, someone will always be younger, but they will never be you, and that’s a fact. Don’t change so that people will like you. Be yourself and eventually the right people will love the real you.
6. Stop trying to hold onto the past.
You will never be able to start the next chapter of your life if you keep re-reading your last one. It is your responsibility to keep moving forward no matter how hard your past was. What’s happened has happened, don’t hold on to it.
7. Stop being scared to make mistakes.
Doing something and getting it wrong is at least ten times more productive than doing nothing at all. Every success story has a trail of failures that followed behind it, meaning that every failure leads towards success. You end up regretting the things you did NOT do far more than the things you did. Read that again.
8. Say ‘Enough’ to berating yourself for old mistakes.
We may end up loving the wrong person and cry about the wrong things, but no matter wrong things go, one thing is for certain, mistakes bring us one step closer to the person and the things that are right for us. We all make mistakes, we all have struggles, and we all even regret things in our past. But you are not defined by your mistakes, you are not defined by your struggles, and you are here NOW with the power to shape your day and your future. Every single thing that has ever happened in your life is eventually preparing you for a moment that is yet to come.
9. Quit trying to buy happiness.
Many of the things we desire and long for are expensive. But the sweet truth is, the things that really satisfy us are totally free – love, laughter and working on our passions. Reach out for happiness instead of trying to buy it.
10. Stop exclusively looking to others for happiness.
If you’re not happy with who you are on the inside, you won’t be happy in a long-term relationship with anyone else either. You have to create a stable sense of happiness from within in your own life first before you can share it with someone else.
11. Get up and stop being idle.
Don’t sit with your thoughts for too long or you’ll end up creating a problem that wasn’t even there in the first place. Evaluate the situation and take decisive action. You cannot change what you refuse to confront head-on. Making progress involves risk. Period! You can’t make it to the second base with your foot on the first.
12. Destroy the voice in your head that tells you that you’re not ready.
Nobody ever feels 100% ready when an opportunity arises, although they may look like it. This is because most great opportunities in life force us to grow beyond our comfort zones, which means we won’t feel totally comfortable at first but will get used to it in the process.
13. No more getting involved in relationships for the wrong reasons.
Relationships must be chosen and nurtured wisely. It’s better to be alone by yourself than to be in bad company. There’s no need to rush anything. If something is meant to be, it will happen – at the right time, with the right person, and for the right reasons. Fall in love when you know you’re ready, not when you’re lonely.
14. Let go of the habit of rejecting new relationships just because old ones didn’t work.
You’ll realize and understand that there is a purpose for everyone you meet at different stages of your life. Some will test you, some will use you and some will teach you. But most importantly, some will bring out the best in you – those are the people that matter.
15. Stop trying to compete against everyone else.
Never worry about what others are doing better than you. Concentrate on beating your own records every day and being better than you were yesterday. Success is an everyday battle between YOU and YOURSELF only.
16. Grow up and stop being jealous of others.
Jealousy is the art of counting someone else’s blessings instead of your own. Ask yourself : “What’s something I have that everyone wants?”
17. Stop complaining and feeling sorry for yourself.
Life’s curveballs are thrown at you that way for a reason – to shift your path in a direction that has always been meant for you. You may not see or understand everything the moment it happens, and it is bound to be tough. But reflect back on those tough curve balls thrown at you in the past. You’ll see and understand that eventually, they led you to a much better place, person, state of mind, or situation. So smile and look at curveballs dead in the eye with excitement for the future! Let everyone know that today you are a lot stronger and developed than you were yesterday, and you will be.
18. Stop holding grudges.
Don’t live your life with hate in your heart. You will end up hurting yourself more than the people you hate. Forgiveness is not saying, “What you did to me is okay.” It is saying, “I’m not going to let what you did to me ruin my happiness forever.” Forgiveness is the answer… let go, find peace, liberate yourself! And remember, forgiveness is not just for other people, it’s for you too. If you must forgive yourself, move on and try to do better next time.
19. Never let others bring you down to their level.
Refuse to lower your standards to accommodate those who are not willing to raise theirs. Maintain the standard you’re at and keep moving forward.
20. Save your energy and stop wasting time explaining yourself to others.
Your friends don’t need it and your enemies won’t believe it anyway. Just do what you know is best for you and know in your heart is right.
21. Quit doing the same things over and over without taking a break.
The time to take a deep breath is when you don’t have time for it. If you keep doing what you’re doing, you’ll keep getting the same results. Sometimes you need to distance yourself to see things clearly to work at it from a different angle.
22. Don’t overlook the beauty of small moments.
Enjoy the little things, because one day you will look back and discover that they were the big things. The best parts of your life will be the small, nameless moments that you spent smiling with someone who matters to you.
23. Let go of trying to make things perfect.
The real world doesn’t reward perfectionists, it rewards people who get things done. Perfection is a state that is unattainable as long as we are the humans that we are.
24. Stop following the path of least resistance.
If you haven’t realized by now, life is not easy, especially when you plan on achieving something worthwhile. .Never take the easy way out. Do something extraordinary and leave a legacy.
25. Never act like everything is fine if it isn’t.
It’s okay to fall apart for a little while and it’s normal if you do so. You don’t always have to pretend to be strong, and there is no need to constantly prove that everything is going well when it’s not. You shouldn’t be concerned with what other people are thinking of you either – cry if you need to – it’s healthy to shed your tears. The sooner you do, the sooner you will be able to smile from ear to ear again.
26. Stop blaming others for your troubles.
The extent to which you can achieve your dreams depends on the extent to which you take responsibility for your life. When you blame others for what you’re going through, you deny responsibility – you give others power over that part of your life.
27. Understand you can’t be everything to everyone.
Doing so is impossible, and trying will only burn you out till you have no energy left for yourself. But making one person smile CAN and will change the world. Maybe not the whole world, but their world. So narrow your focus because it matters.
28. Stop worrying so much.
Worry will not strip tomorrow of its burdens, but it sure as hell will strip today of its joy. One way to check if something is worth mulling over is to ask yourself: “Will this matter in one year’s time? Three years? Five years?” If not, then it’s not worth worrying about in the present moment.
29. Shift your focus from what you don’t want to happen to what you want to see happen.
Positive thinking and taking action is at the forefront of every great success story. If you wake every morning with the thought that something wonderful will happen in your life today, and you pay close attention, you’ll often find that you’re right and you’ll thank yourself for thinking right.
30. Stop being ungrateful.
No matter how good or bad you have it, wake up each day feeling grateful for your life. Know that someone somewhere else is desperately fighting for theirs. Instead of thinking about the things that you’re missing, try thinking about what you have that everyone else is missing. Practice having an attitude of gratitude.
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Do you prioritize your needs? Or do you put it on hold for the happiness of your closed ones? Life is too short to delay things that can make your life better. We forget to value our own happiness and end up in misery. It’s time to choose yourself and start living!
How to choose yourself? Here are 30 things you should start doing for yourself.
1. Start taking responsibility for your life
Taking responsibility for your life means, being accountable for your own thoughts, deeds, feelings, and words. Accept your mistakes and decisions and work towards improvement. Instead of blaming and complaining, take accountability for your own life and welfare.
Ask yourself, “What’s my role? What can I learn from this mistake?”. Avoid taking things personally or depending on people for happiness. Remember, It’s not the job of your parents and friends to make you happy. By being accountable you can accept a cluster of challenges and figure out how to overcome the obstacles, according to a study published in the journal of Distributive Justice. Else you’ll end up being unhappy and sad.
2. Start surrounding yourself with the right people
These are the people who boost your intellectual growth and inspire you to become what you want. They are the ones with whom you spent quality time, who encourage and love you unconditionally. Spend time with people who can be your best friend and mentor. They will help you move on even in the toughest times. And empower you to achieve your personal and professional goals. Bid farewell to pessimistic nellies who only bring you down focusing on your imperfections.
3. Start nurturing your closed relationships
Robert Waldinger conducted the Harvard Study of Adult Development for over 80 years to find out things that make us happier and healthier. The message from the results is startling- “good relationships keep us happier and healthier”.
Money, fame, and the number of friends or relationships you had are not important.
According to Waldinger, it’s about how healthy and strong your relationship is with your closed ones. People who are well-connected to family members, friends, neighbors, and community are physically and mentally happy. Love people, whom you can count on during adversity. Nurture your relationships with them by doing something new like long walks or get-togethers.
Are you wondering how to choose yourself? Watch the story of James Altucher, the renowned author and serial entrepreneur.
4. Start living in the present
Ranting about losses and worrying about the future brings you stress and anxiety. Right now is a miracle. Living in the present is the key to becoming happier and healthier. Learn to experience life as it’s happening. It will keep you, connected to yourself and everything around you. Being present-minded enhances your ability to cope with fear, anxiety, and anger according to a study published in the Human Kinetics Journal.
Related article – How To Find Happiness By Living In The Present Moment
5. Start being yourself, genuinely and proudly
Stop being someone who is not the real you. Choose yourself! Create your best version. It’s you with whom you have to live lifelong. Realize that you’re unique in every way and be proud of yourself. You can turn your ideas, strengths, and tiny sparks into flames of achievement. Instead of being hard on yourself. Practise self-compassion! According to a study published in the journal of self and identity, self-compassion boosts your happiness and reduces stress. Because self-compassion stops you from procrastinating things.
6. Start prioritizing your own happiness
Happiness doesn’t simply come to us. Being happy is a choice that you make and you have to keep making this choice every day. Thinking of your needs, values, and things that bring you joy will elevate you. If you don’t respect or value yourself, then you’re sabotaging yourself. Taking care of yourself doesn’t mean you stop caring for others. Prioritizing yourself is an unselfish art! If you are happy, you’ll be far more capable of making others happy.
7. Start valuing the lessons your mistakes teach you
“Experience is a hard teacher because she gives the test first, the lesson afterwards.” -Vernon Law.
It’s okay to make mistakes as long as you get up and fight. Mistakes are a getaway to polish yourself, learn, grow, try harder. Mistakes make you retrospect and introspect risks and opportunities. And find a way to reach your destination. The long roads of failure may end with a significant achievement. You never know. One of the ‘mistakes’ you fear might just be the link to your grand success yet.
Related article – 8 Mistakes You MUST Avoid When Raising A Son
8. Start being more polite to yourself
Treat yourself with kindness and care! Others treat you the way you treat yourself. Many times we hate and criticize ourselves. But, would you enjoy it if your near and dear ones do that to you regularly? The way you treat yourself sets the standard for others. Love and respect yourself, and others will do the same.
Related article – 12 Tips To Self-Love And Compassion
9. Start enjoying the things you already have
Most of us think that we can enjoy life only if all our wishes are fulfilled. But, it’s a never-ending cycle. When one wish is fulfilled, the other one crops up. Even if you reach a certain level, there is always someone doing better than you. So, be content with what you have. Breathe deeply, enjoy things in your life, and appreciate where you are. It will empower you to be the best.
Related article – 6 Positive Psychology Practices To Boost Happiness and Improve Your Life
10. Start creating your own happiness
If you seek happiness, you’ll always find it. Be happy with who you are now. Choose yourself and the way you are. Find something that will make you happy and do it every day. Feel good about yourself every day and smile. Inspire yourself with positive thinking. Waiting for others to make you happy is a sure shot recipe for darkness, fear, and pain. Start taking responsibility for your own happiness.
11. Start believing in your ideas and dreams
Believe in yourself and take chance. Make the right thing happen now, instead of waiting for the right time to come. Doing something is better than nothing. So, just go for it with 100% determination, patience, and inspiration. Nourish yourself with passion. Either you succeed or you learn something.
Related article – 10 Signs You Need To Take Care Of Yourself (And How To Start)
12. Start embracing new relationships
Enter new relationships with people who love you, admire you and accept you the way you are. Choose peers who are reliable, honest and support you to become the person you want to be. Embrace new relationships for the right reasons. There is no point sticking around people who can’t reciprocate your kindness and commitment. And pay attention to what people do, because a person’s actions are much more important than their words.
13. Start believing that you’re ready to go ahead
Look for possibilities and opportunities and think you’re ready for the next step. Be logical and set realistic goals. Accept the challenges positively. Treat obstacles as gifts that make you stronger. Choose yourself by believing that you are ready.
14. Start competing against an earlier version of yourself
Always compare yourself with who you were yesterday. But, do not engage in the rat race. Comparing your life with other people ahead of you is a futile attempt. It will only lead you to frustration, misery, and depression. In doing so you will end up feeling more vulnerable. Choose yourself! Be inspired by others, appreciate others, and learn from others. Then break your own personal records and surprise the world with your achievements.
15. Start giving chance
Meet new people, make new relationships and seek new experiences. Your life cannot stop just because some old relationships have broken or given you bitter experiences. Trust yourself and others. Positive affirmations like, “It may turn out to be the best” will help you stay positive even in uncertain situations. You never know, the stranger you met the other day may just change your life forever. So, start giving new people a chance.
16. Start cheering for other people’s victories
Start appreciating all the little, good things in your life. If you like someone, don’t hesitate to tell them. Appreciation may lead you to– productive, fulfilling, peaceful places. Be happy for people achieving their dreams and goals. Cheer for their triumphs and share happiness. Be thankful for your own beautiful life and strive to make it better each day. Sooner or later you’ll see amazing things coming your way.
17. Start forgiving yourself and others
“To err is human; to forgive, divine.” Alexander Pope
We all make mistakes and bad decisions that give us pain. But, if you want to be happy, you have to let go of the resentment. Release your burden by forgiving yourself. Learn from your mistakes and move on. Also, forgive your enemy and it will boost your self-healing. Balance trust and wisdom.
Related article – Forgiving and Letting Go Those Who Have Hurt You
18. Start looking for the silver lining in tough situations
Hope never dies! So, always have faith in yourself even when things are hard. Be bold, be strong and always keep going with an iron-daunted spirit. Never forget your accomplishments! When feeling lost, seek guidance and plant your feet in the right direction again.
19. Start helping others
Never miss an opportunity to help people. Love people and care about them. Guide others to make their life better. Let love and kindness be the way of your life. It’ll help you build the castle of peace. Keep doing it every day and it will make the world better and your life too.
20. Start listening to your own inner voice
While the mind is limited intuition is not according to Madeleine L’Engle. So, when you’re feeling a pit in your stomach, listen to your inner voice. It will lead you to the truth and help you solve the problem with ease. Follow your intuitions to make better and faster decisions. Eventually, you will lead a successful, happy and fulfilled life.
Related article – 8 Tips To Strengthen The Voice Of Our Intuition
21. Start taking short breaks
Take short breaks when busiest and meditate for increased insight and inner peace. Or just pause and take a deep breath. Place your hand on your heart and ask what it needs from you right now. It will help you regain your sanity and realign your actions with your goals. Create rituals like prayer or anything to get clear on your values in life. This process will help you choose yourself in every situation.
22. Start noticing the beauty of small moments
Little moments in life have the power to bring you deep contentment. Start focusing on these little things and one day you’ll realize that they were the big things. Big things like buying home or marriage may happen sooner or later.
But, little things happen every day. It can be a morning walk on the beach, a beautiful flower blossoming in your garden, laughter sessions with your best buddy, writing a blog, cooking perfect Italian pasta, appreciation at work and so on. Enjoying these small pleasures can bring abundant happiness and improve the quality of your life.
23. Start accepting things even when imperfect
Life is never perfect! Imperfections are a must. They drive us to become perfect. But, it’s better to appreciate things even when they are less than perfect. Because they are beautiful in their own way and offer us new opportunities. It can be in the form of traveling to new places or learn something valuable in life. Everything happens for a reason! It wasn’t those imperfections in the past, you wouldn’t have been the best version today.
24. Start working on your dreams
Prioritize your goals and dreams and move towards them every single day. Every single step counts, so just do something, anything to make it happen. Wishful thinking never yields desired results. But by working hard and consistently, you can find your way forward in everything. Seek a mentor to align your purpose with momentum. By being with people who support and believe in your dreams, you can surmount any hardships.
25. Start being true to yourself
Whether you are happy or hurting, be more open to yourself. Talk to people in close relationship with you and share your feelings. Be true to yourself and you ill surely feel more relaxed and peaceful.
Related article – 10 Signs To Know That You Are Being True To Yourself
26. Start facing life’s challenges
Life is not a bed of roses! Problems are inevitable and escaping or avoiding them will ruin your mental peace and happiness. Take action! React to them with a problem-solving attitude. Give your best, when you can and never regret the past. Face your problems head-on and you will grow more, become stronger and wise. Acknowledge your decisions and move ahead one step at a time. Think out of the box! There are people who have made mountains out of molehills. You can too!
27. Start being 100% honest with yourself in every matter
Be honest about everything in life – your goals, success, failure, marriage, family, friends and every aspect of life. Be honest about who you are, what you want to achieve and who you want to become. You’re the only person on whom you can always count on always. Search your soul, seek the truth, so that you have a better understanding of your present state and how you got here. Soon you’ll be mature enough to figure out where you want to go and how to get there.
28. Start concentrating on what you can control
One thing that we can always control in our life is input but not the outcomes. So, there is no point in wasting our time and energy on things that are beyond our control.
By investing more time in things that can make a difference, we can get rid of fear, anxiety, feeling of helplessness and passive action. By planning how to influence an outcome, you can foster a deep self-trust and inner peace.
29. Start focusing on opportunities
Listen to your intuition and do not pay heed to negative thoughts. Jeff Bezos never focused on why his online bookstore ideas will fail. Similarly, Mark Zuckerberg never focused on why Facebook will not work on a global scale. These people never changed their thinking in line with people who criticized their ideas. Instead, they focused on the possibility of positive outcomes.
Start focusing on what you want and not what things that are impossible. Everyone’s life has ups and downs! It depends on you to choose aspects that make you happy and successful in the long run.
30. Start noticing how wealthy you are right now
“That man is richest whose pleasures are cheapest.” Henry David Thoreau
Be grateful to things that you are blessed with right now. You have caring and loving parents, good health, access to modern technology, money to travel places, the choice to eat good food, wear branded clothes, friends you can count on even when times are tough and the list goes on.
Related article – Attitude Of Gratitude: How The Universal Law of Gratitude Can Help You
But, we often take these things for granted! On the other hand, there are people working day and night just for basic amenities like food to live. We cry for things that we don’t or can’t have. While you are chasing money, ignoring health and family, a cancer patient may see health as wealth. Count your blessings! Start thinking of things that make a good life and you will find those things coming your way.
What are other things you can do to choose yourself and become happier? Let us know by commenting below.
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If I tell you I need you, do not take it lightly. I do everything I can to never have to depend on anyone, to never show weakness, and if I say that I need you, it means I am trusting you to catch me when I fall.
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Be you. Always be you. Even when people want you to be them. Be you.
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There’s so much more to life than finding someone who will want you, or being sad over someone who doesn’t. There’s a lot of wonderful time to be spent discovering yourself without hoping someone will fall in love with you along the way, and it doesn’t need to be painful or empty. You need to fill yourself up with love. Not anyone else. Become a whole being on your own. Go on adventures, sit in a coffee shop on your own, dress up for yourself, give to others, smile a lot. Live for yourself and be happy on your own. It isn’t any less beautiful, I promise.
– Emery Allen
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Ask your deepest questions
